


What a (maybe not so) fucking day

by Stuckintheblindforest



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:56:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 68,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27147673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stuckintheblindforest/pseuds/Stuckintheblindforest
Summary: Who would have thought a simple walk home from work could change your life?Waking up in the middle of nowhere, Theo finds herself stuck in a wierd dream, unable to wake up.Although it only gets stranger with every new dawn, she at least found good company.They might think of her as a mad woman, but they were decent enough men, taking her along until she found out what had happened to her.This is Theos journey of finding the truth, a home, and a place to belong.
Relationships: Fíli (Tolkien)/Original Character(s), Fíli (Tolkien)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 68





	1. Fate

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't read The Hobbit or watched the movies in years. I really liked the movies when they came out and read the book a few times, but as life goes on your interests shift and Middleearth shifted into memory. 
> 
> It was a weird dream, that pulled me back into that rabbit hole. I started daydreaming, and suddenly I found myself writing it down. This is definitely not worthy of any prizes, but maybe someone will find some joy in it. English is not my native language, so I apologize for any mistakes!
> 
> I haven't rewatched the movies or reread the books, so I'm pretty much bullshiting my way through this with what I remember :)

Sometimes it feels like fate does nothing but throw sticks between your legs, ready to jump at you whenever you turn a corner.   
It makes you angry and frustrated, wanting to just give up and throw everything to the ground. 

And then, at some point along the way, you suddenly find something that keeps you going.   
Something that is there to help pick up the shards and builds you up.   
And when you finally feel whole again, you see that the path may not have been an easy one, but one that led you exactly where you belong. 

Home. 

With a soft smile on her lips, Theo looked down at the head that was resting on her chest. In rhythm with the steady, soft snore she stroked over the wild waves that splayed all over his head.   
Her own little sun.   
She would never get enough of the warmth he made her feel with nothing but his presence.   
Knowing where it got her, she would do it all over again.   
Theo pressed a soft kiss against his temple, before she settled back into the pillows and wrapped her arms around him. It didn’t take her long to fall back into a deep slumber, the weight on top of her comforting her like nothing else ever would.   
_________________________________________________________

What a fucking day. 

Theo dug her hands deeper into the pockets of her coat and pulled up her shoulders, bracing against the cold wind.  
In her mind she was already thinking of tomorrow, making a checklist of all the things that had to be done. Check the weekly payments before they were sent out, call human resources about the provisions for the Christmas bonus, send out the reminders for overdue receivables… And about a hundred things more. 

Hurrying down the street she cursed her job. Sure it was secure, it paid well and she had a few really great colleagues, but on the other hand… it was a never ending cycle of the same reports, answering requests that had to be answered immediately, if not ten minutes before she even received the request, and always being the idiot who apparently is to blame for the numbers being too bad. That was the worst. It’s not like she invented them, she just delivered the result of the things she received. 

Theo couldn’t wait to get to training. She definitely had to work off some steam. 

She stopped at the border of the pave walk and looked both ways before crossing the street and taking the shortcut through the school centre. It wasn’t really dark yet, but she was cold and she had to get to the ice rink, being late as it was. 

The bag with her skates and gear kept hitting against her hip as she walked. Of course her car had to get serviced the day she had training. It was just amazing to drag the gear around instead of just leaving it in the trunk of the car. And that fucking cold wind was like a bonus. Why didn’t she put on her winter coat in the morning? I was so bloody cold for the end of April. At least she had decided on her warmer boots.

The ringing of her phone startled her. She slid her bag of her shoulder, searching for it. When she finally did the caller ID managed to put a smile to her lips. “What’s up blondie?”, she asked the moment she picked up. “A fucking mad day.”, was the answer and Theo replied with a mixture of a laugh and groan. “Tell me about it.” Julia didn’t need to be encouraged any further and complained about her boss at great lengths. It wasn’t anything new, but Theo knew how good it felt to vent about it and as always did her fair sharing of it as well. 

“… and he even had the nerve to tell me I had reduce my overtime. First, he admits that we have too much work and the next moment he expects us to do it in even less time. I mean how can someone be such a fucking asshole?” By her voice Theo could tell how mad Julia was. And she couldn’t blame her.   
“I’m so sorry for you. I guess Toby didn’t say anything to help you?” There was a frustrated laugh at the other end of the line. “Of course not, he would never do anything that makes him look anything less than perfect.” Theo sighed.   
“Did you talk to Michael? Maybe it really is the time for something new?”  
“Not yet.” There was a moment of silence. “I don’t even know what I want to do anymore.”   
Theo stopped and rubbed her forehead with her free hand.   
“Do you want me to come over?”, she asked. “I’m not that far, we can talk if you want.”   
“As nice as that offer sounds, I guess I’d rather wait for Michael.”, Julia answered. “Maybe another time?”  
“Sure.”, Theo said as she started moving again.   
“Talk to him, have a nice dinner, have some sexy time…”, her voice trailed off as she chuckled, glad to hear laughter through her phone. “You could always get pregnant and be a stay at home mom.”  
“Not that Michael would complain.” Julia laughed again and Theo could notice the lighter tone in her voice.   
“See, the answer is so simple. You just need to have lots of sex and pop out a little baby.” 

Theo left the school centre at the parking lot and stopped again at the side of the road waiting for the traffic light to switch to green. “Love, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. You go, put on something nice and enjoy the night with your man. Okay?”   
“I’ll do that, thank you for listening.”  
“Anytime for you. But I’ll hang up now, it’s cold as fuck and I really need to get going.”   
“Sure, you get home safe sweety. Okay?”  
“I will. I love you.”  
“I love you too, bye!”  
“Bye!” 

Looking down on her phone Theo ended the call, before looking back up at the traffic light. When it switched over to the green light she stepped into the street.   
That moment something crashed into her and Theo felt all the air knocked out of her body.  
Then her head hit something hard and everything went black.


	2. Waking up to a dream

Theo’s head was throbbing. One of the worst kinds of throbbing. The kind of throbbing that got worse every time you moved.   
With a groan she pressed her hands against her temples and curled into her side. This was some extra kind of a fucking migraine. There was no way she was going to work today. For now, she would only pull the blanket over her head and go back to sleep. 

With her eyes pressed shut she grabbed around for her blanket.   
Which wasn’t there.   
There was nothing but hard, sharp gravel around her. 

In confusion Theo forced open one of her eyes, immediately blinded by the light. “Fuck.”, she cursed, her voice hoarse. That didn’t help her headache. She took a deep breath and blinked against the light blue sky. Somehow, and Theo had no idea why, she was lying in the middle of a dirt road.   
“What the hell?” 

Theo pushed herself up, sitting confused in the middle of the road. With dry, burning eyes she looked around, trying to get her bearings. Not that it worked. She was surrounded by green hills, some agricultural used, some overgrown with trees and bushes. No houses, no cars, no nothing. She was in the middle of nowhere. Or in other words at the world’s ass. 

She must have had one fucking night. Again, she let her eyes wander around her. She had no fucking idea how she got here. What on earth did she do? 

Even though she had a crazy headache, she didn’t feel hungover. No weird feeling in the stomach, no low blood sugar, no thirst. No, she definitely wasn’t hungover. 

Theo pulled her knees towards her and laid her head on them. There must have been something she remembered. 

Yesterday was Tuesday, of that she was sure. On Tuesdays they had their Finance Meetings and she remembered clearly what kind of joy that had been.   
Slightly rocking herself she went through her workday; it hadn’t been any different than usual.   
Her car was in for a service, so she had to walk home afterwards. It had been fucking cold, and she could have sworn the weather report said it would be cold and rainy for the rest of the week, which made the clear sky feel weird. But that was a problem for later, she had to remember how she got here.

Suddenly she remembered Julia calling. She was complaining about work, but they didn’t say anything about meeting up, Julia wanted to spend the night with her husband. And then…

The car.

The fucking car. 

Theo didn’t breathe. Couldn’t breathe. 

The fucking car. 

Breaking her legs.   
Hitting the windscreen and losing all air in her lungs.   
Cracking her head open on the pavement. 

Theo chocked. 

Caught in the moment of rushing towards the pavement, everything else disappeared.   
There was only the pavement and the cracking of her head. 

She didn’t know how long it took until her lungs forced her to take a breath. Her whole body was trembling. Like a puppet her hand raised towards her forehead, not daring to touch it. It was cracked in. It must be. She had felt it.   
She should be lying in the street. She should be lying in the hospital. She should be… dead.   
Dead. 

At that thought she wrapped her arms tightly around herself and curled herself together.   
She was dead.   
She wasn’t in the street, and she wasn’t in the hospital, so the only option was…  
A sob escaped her throat. And with that sob all dams broke.   
______________________________________________________________________________

Theo didn’t know how long she lay there. Just sobbing in the middle of the road.   
At one point the tears stopped and only an empty feeling was left.   
She had rolled on her back and stared up into the sky. It was slowly getting dark. 

This was some weird kind of heaven. She always thought she would meet those that had died before. Maybe her grandparents or her cat. She had also thought she would feel more at peace. This… this wasn’t peace. Sure, the hills looked nice enough, but she felt more lost than anything else.   
Groaning she rubbed her hands over her face. What the hell was she supposed to do?  
She couldn’t just keep lying here. 

There must be someone around. Surely she didn’t get this place all to herself. Maybe she was just supposed to have some time to herself at first. Maybe there was some fucking awesome place waiting for her down the road. 

Maybe there would be a welcome party. 

She could definitely use a good party right now. Well more like a good drink. With lots of alcohol in it. 

Since she had no other idea, she would just stick with that. Looking for alcohol, forgetting about all this for a few hours. Crying wouldn’t help anyways and if she changed her mind, she always had eternity. 

Theo knew she was just swallowing down all her feelings and pretending she was fine. She always did that when she got upset, but it usually worked well enough for a while. Until she broke down completely. But that would be a problem for later. 

As she got up on her legs, she realized how stiff her body actually felt. Another weird thing about all this. She always thought there would be no pain after death. Apparently not. 

While she was stretching her legs, she kept looking from right to left. Which way to go? Theo hadn’t seen anything special in either direction. Did it even matter? Perhaps the road would go in a circle. With a shrug of her shoulders she decided on south.

It really was nice here. She had to admit that. Personally, she would prefer a winter wonder land, although she might just have to wait. Heaven probably had seasons as well, winter all year round wouldn’t be too exciting for most people. She could picture herself lying at a lake in summer, with a barbecue in the evenings, some festivities… Yes, she could deal with that. Then in autumn there would be all the nice leaves, great storms and horror movies. If she could find some friends it might be pretty nice here. 

She really was good at bottling up. She’d just pretend everything is alright and at some point, she would believe it. 

The road took Theo around one of the hills and right on top of a small valley.   
“Wow.” It looked like something out of a fairy tale. There was a lake at the bottom and instead of houses, there seemed to be holes built into the ground. All surrounded by beautiful gardens, full of flowers and small lanterns. This was something Theo could deal with. This was amazing. 

Theo still couldn’t see any people, but that didn’t bother her. She would just knock on every door until someone opened up.   
There was actually a smile on her lips as she hurried towards the first hole. This was so cosy! Someone really took care of this place, there was no weed in sight, everything in top condition. And that round green door reminded her so much of home. Her parents’ house door might not have been round, but it was exactly the same colour. That must be a sign. 

Excited she knocked on the door, whipping on her toes while she waited. There was some commotion inside and suddenly someone ripped the door open.   
“Another one?”, a small man cursed in Theo’s face. He looked beyond pissed.   
“Hi there, I’m Theo. Is this where the party is?” She wasn’t wasting any time and smiled into his face. He really was a small guy. “Apparently it is.”, he replied and stepped aside, welcoming her into his home. “Thank you, this really is a beautiful place, you must care for it very well.” The words just kept falling out of her mouth, she simply couldn’t stop them.   
But the man actually seemed pleased. “At least someone notices.”, he mumbled to himself, throwing a heated glare down the hall, where a lot of people ran around. “I’m Mister Bilbo Baggins.” He turned back around towards her, holding out his hand. “I’m Theo, very nice to meet you!” She shook his hand with a huge smile. Always be nice to your host, that had always been a rule at home. “Are there many people here yet?”   
At that question his brows furrowed. “There are too many dwarfs, so don’t worry, one more is no bother.” “Great, I’ll just have a look around then.” She beamed at him again, even though she was confused by the word dwarfs. It’s not like he was especially tall, she towered him by nearly a head and that was saying something. She had never been considered tall. 

Theo shrugged her shoulders and shook her head. Who cared? She was in dire need of some alcohol, he could call her whatever he wanted, as long as she would get some. 

The moment she stepped out of the entry way, there were people everywhere. And by people she meant men. Very hairy men. Dressed like they were going to a convention.   
For a few moments she just stood in the middle of this, bloody confused. Was this some sort of theme party? If it was, they were really going all the way. With huge wigs, beards and everything. She was actually sort of impressed.   
Or maybe they died in some medieval times and just stuck with it.   
Again, who cared? 

The priority was alcohol.

Theo pushed through the chaos. They all were getting stuff out of the pantry, carrying it to the dining table. Her stomach was growling just by looking at it, but first she had to find something to drink.   
Finally, she spotted two guys drafting beer from a barrel. AKA her two new best friends. 

“Hello there.”, she interrupted them. “What does a girl have to do to get a beer around here?” Theo beamed them her brightest smile. Which grew even wider when she looked them down. So there were hot guys in heaven. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. 

“Oh, I could think of a few things.”, the dark haired replied, his brow raised in a meaningful manner, which received him a kick against his shin from the other guy. Not that it stopped his huge grin.   
“Such a lovely lady doesn’t have to do anything.”, the blonde guy retorted. He turned and shoved one of the already drafted mugs into her hands. “But a thank you would be greatly appreciated.” Theo laughed. “Of course, my lord, I am eternally grateful for your kindness.”, she replied, holding her right hand to her heart. “I hope one day I’ll be able to repay you.”   
“I’m sure we’ll be able to find a way for you to do just that.” Mr. Blondie winked at her, which made her laugh again. She liked their sense of humour. “Well, let me know if you think of something, because I will be needing a lot more of this tonight.” 

The two of them shared a look. “I am Kíli.”, the guy with the dark hair introduced himself. “And I am Fíli.”, the other complemented. “And who might you be?”   
“I’m Theo, very nice to meet you.” Indeed, very nice, she thought to herself. Very nice to look at. 

“So how long have you two been here?”, she inquired, indulging herself on the beer. Which wasn’t half bad. Not as good as a cuba libre but it would do the trick. “Oh, not that long, an hour at most.”, Kíli replied, leaning against the wall and mustering her again. “Did you find the place easily?”   
“Well it’s not that hard to miss, you just walk down the road and knock onto the first door you see.” Looking from one to the other she noticed the similarities in their features. They were small, but they were there. “Are you two related by any chance?” “We’re brothers.”, the blonde… Fíli said. “I’m the eldest.”, he was quick to add. Theo smirked at the proudness in that statement.   
“I didn’t expect a lass would join us.”, he continued, looking her down. “Although you don’t really dress the part.” No, she definitely didn’t dress for a theme party. “Is that a problem?”, she asked. “I wasn’t aware there would be a dress code.”   
“No, there’s no problem at all.”, Kíli was quick to answer, eyeing her skinny jeans. “No, not at all.”, his brother agreed. They acted like they’ve never seen pants that tight. She could only imagine the looks if she had been wearing shorts. 

“So, I have planned to get absolutely hammered tonight. Do you think you’ll be able to help me with that? I also wouldn’t mind if you were to join me.”   
Well, that helped adverting the attention of her pants. “You want to get what?”  
“Hammered. You know, shit faced, pissed ass drunk?” That cleared the confused looks from their faces. “That is not very lady like.”, Fíli mentioned, although clearly intrigued. “Well, it’s good I’m not a lady then. Just a common idiot looking for some fun and trying to forget a few things.”, she retorted, making them laugh again.   
“Well in that case we would be more than happy to assist you. Anything other than that would simply be rude, wouldn’t you say so Kíli?” “Yes, indeed brother, we should do everything in our power to help her fulfill her dreams.”, Kíli agreed. “On one condition.”, he added after a moment, making Theo tilt her head in anticipation.   
“And what would that be?”  
“The lady promises to keep us entertained for the evening.” He shared a mischievous look with his brother. “That sounds like a fair deal.”, Fíli reinforced the younger.   
“That’s all? You got yourself a deal gentlemen.” Theo held out her hand towards Fíli, who shook it at once, followed by Kíli. 

And it was a deal they all honoured. 

Very quickly they found themselves seated at the large dining table. They took Theo in their middle and made true on their word to get her shit faced. She never had to worry about an empty mug. And in return she pulled out all the stupid jokes she had. Which made them return their own.   
At some point Kíli brought up the idea to play a knife game, but the glare Bilbo shot them was so murderous they threw the idea over board. It probably saved them some fingers.   
But it didn’t matter, they found some other drinking games. Betting who could empty their glass the fastest was always a safe way to have fun. 

By the time everybody had finished eating, Theo’s head was swimming. She was more snorting than laughing at that point, and once nearly fell off her chair. That in return made Kíli laugh so hard he almost fell backwards as well. Which made Theo almost pee herself. 

That was the sign for her to excuse herself. To say she stumbled towards the bathroom might have been a word to graceful to use. It felt awesome. Although there seemed to be only one bathroom, which apparently was occupied for quite some time by the sounds of it. Well, she would have to water the flowers then.   
It took her some time to find a somewhat secluded spot behind a bush outside, but at least she avoided falling straight into Bilbos roses. After finishing her business, when she climbed the stairs to the front door, Theo had to admit that it was actually really nice here. She would definitely stick to Fíli and Kíli, they knew how to have fun. To have them as friends would be great. 

A drunk smile sat on her lips when she opened the door and stepped back in the hall. But when she saw Fíli jumping around, throwing plates through the air towards the kitchen, while catching the plates coming from the dining room at the same time, her chin fell. That fellow knew how to dance.   
When he noticed her watching he winked, and Theo felt a stupid smile return. Oh boy, she might be crushing just a tiny little bit. Good looking, funny, kind, strong and even graceful? That guy was a gift sent by god. Hopefully he was dumb, anything else would be simply too much. 

“What are you looking at, my lady?”   
Theo jumped at the voice beside her, and when she realized it was Kíli, her face grew hot. “Nothing.” The mischievous look reappeared in his eyes and his grin grew wide. “You like my brother.”, he stated, his voice cocky. “And I thought you had better taste; I mean I’m right here.” Kíli opened up his arms, shaking his hands. “Shut up, you’re drunk.”, Theo replied and shoved him. “I was simply amazed by his plate throwing skills.” She could still feel her face glowing, hopefully he blamed it on the alcohol.   
“Sure, anything you say my dear.” He wasn’t convinced and Theo cursed silently at herself. “If you’re ever interested in his other skills, I’d gladly be of service to spill the secrets.” Theo raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth to inquire about these secret skills, when someone banged loudly on the front door. 

At once Kíli forgot about her and ran towards the door, pulling it open. “Uncle!”, he greeted the man standing there. Man, the good genes ran in the family. He looked a lot like Kíli, but he held himself proudly like Fíli. More guys came into the hall to greet him and Theo took her chance to make herself disappear. With a little bit of luck Kíli would forget about her lusting after his brother.   
She drafted herself another beer, and returned to her seat at the table. Back to the original plan of getting hammered, and no more crushing on anything. 

Theo was already halfway through the mug when everybody returned. The laughing and yelling were gone, they were talking business now. Theo quickly got lost in the fifty new names she could hardly tell apart and her mind wandered off. She wondered if she would get a place like this to herself. It was pretty awesome, and thinking of spending winter evenings in front of the fireplace like the one she saw… She couldn’t imagine anything better. Maybe a bigger kitchen, she loved kitchens, but otherwise this would be great.   
“If there is a key, there must be a door.” Fíli’s words ripped her out of her thoughts and she hardly muffled her laugh. “Thank god.” He was dumb. Now she could look at him again. 

“And who is this?”, the uncle, Theo forgot his name, inquired. He was looking at her, sizing her. And he didn’t seem impressed. “I’m Theo… well it’s actually Theodora, but nobody ever calls me that, so it’s Theo. Nice to meet you.”, she answered, while the was a quiet murmur going through the round. “And what are your specialties?”, he asked.   
Her specialties? “Uhm… so I am an accountant if that’s what you’re asking, but I’m a pretty decent ice hockey player. I wanted to do that for a living when I was younger, but my parents wanted me to get a steady job instead. Women hardly earn any money in professional sports; it really isn’t fair.” Now everybody looked at her in silence and the wheels in Theo’s head were turning. “Oh, did you mean in drinking games? I’m pretty good a beer pong, if you got some balls we can play later! This table should be more than big enough.”   
Again, she was meet by silence. 

“Who invited her?”, the uncle now asked the round and everybody looked around for someone to say something. Not receiving his answer, he looked back at her. “How did you get here?”, he asked, his brows furrowed. Theo was bloody confused.   
“Well, it was a car accident. If hadn’t been so stupid and looked up I might be at home soaking in the tub right now. But long story short, I broke my legs, split my head open and probably had some internal bleeding. How did you guys die?” Wow, the beer had made her pretty accepting of her death, not bad. Expectantly she looked around the group. She wanted to know what happened to them, but no one said anything. “Gandalf, is this your doing?” Mr. Uncle turned to the freakish tall guy seated next to him. “I assure you I had nothing to do with this, however I must say I’m intrigued.”   
“Come on guys, it happened. It’s better to accept it, it might be actually good for us to talk about it. How did you die, Fíli?” She turned around to him and he looked at her like she lost her mind. “My apologies, but I certainly didn’t die.”, he answered slowly, confusing her.   
“What do you mean you didn’t die? Maybe you forgot. Does anybody here remember his death?” With a raised eyebrow she looked from one end of the table to the other. “No one?” Confused faces were all she received. “What the fuck?” No, she was confused. Why did she remember her accident and no one else did? Unless… “Does this mean this is just some crazy coma dream?”, she asked excited. “I’m not dead?” Again no one answered. 

“Who let her in?” Suddenly Mr. Uncle stood up, throwing angry looks around.   
“I did.” Bilbo stepped into the room. “She just knocked on the door and asked if this was the place of the party. I thought she belonged to you.”   
“Get her out of here.”, Mr. Uncle demanded, starring her down. Now Theo got angry as well. You just didn’t talk about people like they weren’t present. “First of all, fuck you. I only asked if there was a party here and no one seemed to mind my presence until you got here. Second, I’ve had some bloody traumatic shit happen to me in the last 24 hours or so, so maybe you could be a bit nicer. Third, I’m not sure if this is some coma dream or if I’m dead, but if it’s the later, all of you are probably too. So you better accept it sooner rather than later, you got to do it at some point.”   
Theo’s head was hot of anger. “And if I’m not welcome here, go fuck yourselves, I’m going find myself some nicer company.”   
She pushed her chair back and stormed out of the room before anybody could say anything. 

Only when she ripped open the front door, she heard yelling behind her, but she didn’t stop to listen. She slammed the door shut with all her force and stomped down the road, away from the hole. What a bloody asshole. Who did he think he was to throw her out of the party, that wasn’t even in his home, at which she had been before him? 

She kept stomping further, until she stood at the foot of the valley. No one came after her. That was good by her. She was too angry to talk to anybody right now.   
Now she stood on a small bridge over the stream that left the lake. Theo leaned over the stone railing and looked into the dark water. It looked nice. Her eyes followed the stream and without a second thought she crossed the bridge, left the road and stumbled over the grass towards the lake. There she dropped her coat from her shoulders and stripped out of her clothes. Swimming would help. Swimming always calmed her down. 

She let out a yelp when the cold water touched her bare feet, but didn’t turn around. As fast as she could, she ran into the water and dived in.   
For a moment the cold made her freeze. Her thoughts and her body stopped. Then she pushed herself up, breaking the surface with a small cry. It was cold. But she was used to swim in mountain lakes, they were cold all year round. This was no different. In a few minutes she wouldn’t even feel it anymore.   
Her body moved forwards, the cold helping her to sober up, and in no time she was simply drifting on her back, looking up at the stars. She had never seen so many stars in her life. It was incredible.   
At that moment she felt at peace. The peace she had expected in the beginning. It felt right. Being here in the lake, looking up, feeling incredibly small and huge at the same time. 

“Miss!” 

A shout disturbed her quiet moment and she looked around until she saw the tall guy standing at the shore, next to her things.   
“What do you want?”, she yelled back, annoyed that he destroyed her moment of peace.   
“I want to talk to you.”  
Theo groaned. “Maybe I don’t want to talk to you.”   
“I certainly can understand that, however I think it might do you some good.”   
Frustrated she threw her head back. “Fine, but turn around until I get dressed.” Mr. crazy tall obeyed and turned around at once. 

As soon as Theo left the water she shivered. She hadn’t felt the cold when she was in the water, but now she was defenceless against the cool breeze. Hastily she slipped into her clothes. It was uncomfortably with her wet skin, but since she had no towel it was her only option.   
“I’m ready.”, she said when she sat down slipping on her boots. The man seemed very interested in the zipper, but he didn’t say a word.   
“What do you want to talk about? Mr. Grumpy Party Killer?”, she asked, feeling the anger flare up at the thought. “I wanted to talk about what you said back there.” He sat down next to her, groaning as he did so. “Why, was I impolite?” Theo had no intention of being polite now.   
“You certainly were, however I think we weren’t exactly kind either.”, the old man answered. “I blame it on that dramatic ass, no one had a problem before he arrived.”, Theo stated, making the other chuckle. “You better don’t call him that in front of anybody else, however I must admit, he does like being dramatic from time to time.”   
“I don’t think I have to worry about it, I don’t intend to spend any more time up there.”, Theo grumbled, while wringing out her hair and combing it with her fingers.   
The old man ignored her statement and just stared at her.   
“I was very intrigued by what you said. Something about you dying, and then walking in for a party.”  
“Oh.” Theo wasn’t sure what to say. “I’m not so sure if I died anymore, maybe this is just some crazy lucid coma dream. I think if I was dead everybody else should be dead too.”   
“Would you care to tell me what exactly happened? Maybe I could help you bring some light into that question.”  
Theo bit on her lip and stared at her feet. She had no idea what had happened, but either way he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. She either was dead or in a coma, no matter what the old guy did.   
“You won’t be able to help, but sure. If you care to know.”  
“You had said something about an accident, tell me about it.”   
Theo let out a breath. “I was walking home from work and got hit by a car.” “Would you please define what a car is?” Now Theo looked confused. “You don’t know what a car is?” He only shook his head. Maybe this wasn’t just a theme party.   
“A car is like…” Theo searched for words. “…like a very fast carriage without horses.”   
“A carriage without horses. Interesting.” His forehead was deeply frowned, but he didn’t say anything else.   
“So, it hit me and I cracked my head open. And the next thing I know is waking up in the middle of the road up that hill.” She pointed towards the place where she came from.   
“And where did you have your accident?”, he inquired further.   
“At home in Austria? Definitely nowhere around here.” “Austria…”, he repeated. “I have never heard of a place with that name.”   
“Europe then?”, Theo suggested, however his face remained the same.   
“Planet earth?” He had to know of earth.   
“I’m afraid, that must be far away, for I have never heard anybody talk about these places.”, he finally admitted. Which was just great.   
He must have seen her resigned look, because he changed the topic.   
“And you’re certain you died in that accident?”   
“Well, I was definitely hurt quite badly, I remember that much. So I would either have to be in a hospital to be treated, or be dead. Wounds don’t magically disappear.”   
“I understand. If I was badly wounded and woke up in a different place, being healed, I would probably come to the same conclusion.”   
He looked her down, maybe searching for wounds or a sign she was lying.   
“Okay, so can you help me?”, Theo asked, looking up at him. How could someone be so fucking tall?  
“I’m afraid I can’t.”, he denied. Theo let out a huff, although she was not surprised. 

“But I might know someone who might.”  
Theo looked up at that. “Who?”   
“The company you met up the hill is traveling east. On the way there we will pass the home of an old friend of mine. Maybe he knows of a way to help you.”   
That made Theo groan. “I doubt they will be very excited about me travelling with you.” With her hand she gestured up the hill.   
“Don’t worry about them. You’ll be traveling with me.”, he tried to calm her down.   
“Traveling with you, who is traveling with them.”, she continued. “Doesn’t sound like a good idea.”   
Theo shook her head. “I don’t have anything for traveling on me anyways. Why would you help me?”   
“Because it’s the right thing to do. And once all the tempers have cooled down, you will all get along nicely.” Theo wasn’t quite as sure. “They might seem tough at first, but they are good people.”   
He put a hand on Theo’s shoulder, it seemed he was trying to assure her.   
“Get some rest, come back up in the morning, I’ll deal with Thorin.”   
So that was the name of Mr. Grumpy Pants.  
Groaning he got up on his feet and started walking towards the road. “I’ll see you in the morning.”, he called over his shoulder, a lot surer about this than Theo.   
“Wait, I don’t even know your name!”, she yelled, looking after him.   
“It’s Gandalf my dear. Gandalf the grey.”  
He didn’t turn around and kept walking. Theo’s eyes followed him until he was hidden by the trees. 

“What the fuck did I get myself into now?”, she asked herself. She had no idea if she should take this offer, but she didn’t know what else to do either.   
Lost in her thoughts she started braiding her wet hair. That calmed her down a little bit. After she tied the braid with a hairband from her wrist, she pulled her beanie out of her coat and over her ears. It wasn’t really warm enough to just sleep outside without a blanket or anything, but she would have to make the best of it.   
She decided on one of the trees and rolled herself to a ball below it. At least the wind wasn’t that bad over here. Her arms wrapped around herself she looked back up at the stars. Maybe tomorrow would turn out to be better. Although she could already feel a headache from all the alcohol forming. She should have been drinking some water.


	3. The first day of... whatever?

“There she is!” Theo opened an eye with a groan, seeing Kíli running towards her. “You better get up, or Thorin might change his mind and leave you behind anyhow.”   
How was it possible for him to be up and running after everything he had to drink last night?   
“Well I didn’t drink as much as you did.” Oh, she must have thought loud. 

“Good morning, my lady.” Theo saw Fíli appear behind the trees and making his way over to her. “We have to hurry if you want some breakfast.”   
“Why are you so fucking excited?”, she asked them, her voice hoarse. “Well it doesn’t happen every day you meet a crazy person and get to travel with her.”, Kíli announced, earning a shove from Fíli. “Don’t call her that.”   
“Yes, not to my face.” Theo sat up and stretched her arms over her head. She would have to make the best of all this. Let them think she was crazy, most likely they were just something her head had come up with. “Do you have some coffee?”  
“What’s coffee?”, Fíli asked and Theo groaned. “I take that as a no. Do you have tea?”  
“Sure, but there might not be much left.” 

Theo closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. Bloody headache, hopefully she had some ibu on her. “Okay, I’m right behind you. Just give me a minute to pee.”  
“As you wish my lady.” 

The brothers turned around and walked back to the road, as Theo got up. After finishing her business, she followed them in some distance digging through the pockets of her coat. There were five ibu’s in one of her breast pockets, but she only put four of them back.   
In the other there were thirty dollars and her ID. Probably pretty useless. Other than that, she had a packet of tissues, some chewing gum, a lighter, a pen and a few hairbands and hair clips.   
What else do you need? Anything you need for a trip through the la la land your head made up. 

“What have you got there?”, Fíli asked when he saw her swallow the ibu. They had waited for her to catch up on the bridge. “Something for my headache.” “Did someone drink too much last night?” He smirked at her knowingly and she rubbed her temple again. “Don’t pretend you never do that.”   
“I won’t, but I usually avoid it before travelling.”   
“In my defence, I didn’t know I’d be traveling today.” 

They reached the gate to Bilbo’s garden and Theo dreaded going inside. So, she would be the mad woman for a while now. Her brain really had some fucked-up way to deal with trauma. Why couldn’t she just be at some magical beach, drinking margaritas for the near future? Why did it have to torment her even further?

“Are you alright?” She turned and looked at Fíli. He really looked awfully good, even after a night of drinking. She hoped he would prove to be a moron, everything else would be so unfair.   
She wasn’t sure if he was a nice gesture or an even bigger fuck you from her brain. She feared at one point she would find out.   
“I’m fine.”, she answered and walked up the stairs in front of them. 

The sooner they got on the road, the sooner they would arrive at the place Gandalf wanted to see and the sooner she might end up in real heaven. Or back in reality. At the moment she would take either.

Inside Bilbo’s home everyone was busy packing up. Bilbo was snoring in his study, but he was the only one asleep. Lucky him. Fíli was snatched right from her side by the bald dude with the huge beard, so only Kíli accompanied her to the kitchen, where the leftovers of a nice breakfast were. He was just bursting with energy; Theo was kind of jealous.   
He must have been the one who had enjoyed the whole mess that last night had been. Although he made sure to tell her that Thorin could never know. In his opinion it was great she would be traveling with them for a while. As he put it, she either was crazy and would make him laugh all the way to their destination, or she was right and that would be even better, because then he would meet someone from another world. 

Theo didn’t mind listening to his rambling while she ate some bread, it was better than the cautious looks some of the others threw her way.   
He certainly was a nice enough guy, just like his brother. She hoped they could keep this sort of friendship between them, she certainly could use one.   
“Finish up, we’re leaving.” The guy with the hat came into the kitchen, picking up a leftover apple and leaving again. “Right behind you Bofur!”, Kíli yelled and pulled her from her chair. “This is going to be so much fun; you’re going to love Martha.” “Who’s Martha?” “Your pony.”

Theo’s feet stopped, but Kíli simply pulled her further. “A pony? You want me to ride on a pony?” He threw her a look over his shoulder. “What, don’t you like them?” “I guess I do, but I can’t ride for shit.” “Even better, we can bet on how long you stay up there.” He must have been fucking kidding. “Well don’t bet on too long, because you’d lose.” 

They followed a few members of the group outside and back down the road. “Can you at least introduce me to the others?”, Theo asked. Bad enough she would have to ride a pony, she wanted at least to know who was going to laugh when she was finally thrown off. “Sure, this is Bombur.” He gestured to the guy that reminded her of Obelix. “The one with the hat is Bofur, and next to him is his brother Bifur.” “The guy with the axe in his head?”, Theo asked for confirmation. “Yes, that’s him.” “How did he come by that souvenir?” “That what?”, now Kíli looked confused. “It’s something you take as a memory. How did he get the axe stuck in there?” 

“A few orcs attacked the company he was traveling with. He got struck in the head, but since he was conscious, they decided to leave it in. The downside is that he only speaks Khuzdul now.”, Kíli explained. “Okay, what is an Orc and what is Khuzdul?” If every explanation would leave her with more question than answers, maybe she shouldn’t ask anything.   
“You don’t know what an Orc is lass?” Now Bofur joined their conversation. “Am I supposed to?”, she asked. “What stone have you been living under for you not to know? I’d like to join you there.” Theo still shot him a questioning look. “Orcs are an evil abomination. They smell of death and bring it as well. They kill for the fun of it and love to torture first. Trust me, you don’t ever want to see one.”, he explained. “What the fuck?” Theo looked to Kíli for confirmation and he nodded. “It’s true. But you don’t have to worry about them while you’re with us, we’ll protect you.” 

“Okay.” That was all that Theo could get out, looking from one to the other. “Do I want to know what Khuz… whatever… is?” “Khuzdul? Well you should know at least that lass.”, Bofur kept walking backwards so he could look at her. “And if I don’t?” “Seems like the halfling grew up with the wrong half.”, Bombur joint the conversation.   
“What did you just call me? Is that supposed to be an insult?” This got worse with every spoken word. “Don’t worry about it, it’s not your fault.”, Kíli tried to calm her down. “What isn’t my fault?” “That you’re part human.” Kíli shrugged his shoulders.   
“The fuck? Part human? What’s the other part supposed to be?” Now they were getting mean. “A dwarf of course.”, Bofur answered, big smile on his face. “Don’t worry lass, you’re just a bit skinny and hairless, but other than that any dwarf would be glad to have you.”   
“You want to get hit, old man?” Theo grew angry. “I don’t know what you smoke with that pipe of yours, but I’m not a dwarf.”   
“I didn’t mean no offense lass!”, he held both his hands up. “Didn’t you grow up with any of us?” “What do you mean by us?” “Dwarfs of course.”, he said as if that was obvious.   
“No, I grew up with humans, in the human world?” It was a statement and question at the same time. “I wasn’t aware that dwarfs actually existed.” The guy with the axe said a few words Theo didn’t understand. “There are no dwarfs where you came from?”, Kíli asked unbelieving. “As I said, human.” Theo pointed to herself.   
“That sounds like a dull place. Good thing you came here, we’ll show you how to have a good time.”  
Theo opened her mouth, but closed it before saying anything. If they wanted to believe they were dwarfs she wouldn’t stop them. She didn’t understand how they would come to think of her as a halfling, but she didn’t see a point in arguing. “And what about Khuz-something?”, she asked. “It’s our language. We don’t teach it anybody else, it’s sacred.”, Bofur explained. “I take it no one ever taught you?” “Not that I know of.” Theo could feel her headache getting worse. 

“Can we go back to the names?”, she asked Kíli. “At least until I’m not so hungover?” “She’s right, let’s try to avoid a repeat of last night.” At least Bombur agreed. 

They had nearly left the valley, and the rest of the company came into view near a stable. Quite a few of them were seated on the ponies already. Although in Theo’s opinion they were bloody tall ponies. If the ponies were so tall, how tall would be a horse?   
Theo’s question was answered when she spotted Gandalf sitting up on a huge horse. “So if you are dwarfs, what is Gandalf?”, she asked Kíli quietly, hoping said man wouldn’t hear her.   
“Gandalf is a great wizard.”, he explained, walking over to Fíli who was climbing on his pony. “Nobody knows how old he is, but he is all knowing.” 

Theo looked at him with raised eyebrows. Seriously? “A wizard.” Her brain was so fucked up. “Alright, why not?” She followed him to one of the ponies. “This is Martha, she is really lovely. She won’t throw you off.” Then he turned around, grinning widely. “But if you’re scared, I’m sure Fíli wouldn’t mind you riding with him.” Shit. So he hadn’t forgotten how she looked at Fíli last night.   
“No, I think I’ll be fine.” Theo could feel the flush on her face, and judging by Kíli’s look he noticed as well. She certainly hadn’t heard the last of this. 

“Are you ready to go?” Speaking of the devil. Of course, Fíli had to ride over to them. “Yeah, I can’t wait.”, Theo said, before Kíli got the chance to embarrass her even more. She put her hands on the ponies back and pulled herself up. Probably as graceful as a sack of potatoes, but at least she managed to do it on the first try. “Have you not ridden a pony before?”, Fíli asked the obvious. “I never really had to.” Theo stroked Martha’s neck. “The experience I have is limited to sitting on a horse as a kid while someone else led it.”   
“Then how do you travel where you’re from?”, Kíli asked, while sitting up on his own pony. “Uhm…” Again, how do you explain the concept of cars to someone? “We use some sort of carriages.”  
“You must be very rich then.”, Fíli concluded, making Theo laugh. “No, definitely not rich. Try middle class.” “Middle class? What do you mean by that?” “Maybe working class is a better fit? My family isn’t rich and everybody has to work, but we’re doing alright.” Fíli seemed to think over her words, he was mustering her. “But your clothes are very well done and you can afford to use carriages. What work does your family do?”  
“My dad is working in a salt mine, my mum is a baker, my older sister and her husband work at the postal office, my younger sister works in customs and I am an accountant. What do you do?”

“I’m a blacksmith.”, Fíli answered. “A blacksmith? What kind of things do you do?” Now Theo was envious. She always thought it must be great to be able to build something with your hands, to actually have something and know you made that.   
“I do anything, but I prefer making weapons.” “What kind of weapons?” Theo hoped he would say something normal. “Swords, knifes, axes… Anything really.” Well, that was as normal as it would get. “Do you have anything that you made?”, she inquired further. “Yes, I made all my weapons myself.” Fíli grabbed into his coat and pulled out a huge knife. Okay, maybe that was a dagger. “Here, this is the last one I made.” He reached it out towards her and Theo took it at the hilt. 

“Wow, that is incredible.” Theo traced the blade carefully with her fingers. There even was a carving of a rune near the handle. “That must have been a lot of work.” “It’s not that hard once you know what you want.” “Well I think it is very impressive.” Fíli smiled as she returned it to him. “I take that as a compliment.” “You should, I wish I could make something like that.”   
Fíli continued to smile as he put the dagger back in his coat. “I’m sure you’re able to make something as well, right?” Theo snorted. “Sure, I can make you a beautiful balance sheet. Not that anyone wants something like that.”   
“But it’s honourable work, you should be proud in that.”   
“Yes, but it’s boring as hell.”

“Let’s get moving!” Thorin’s voice halted their conversation and everybody followed his order. Everybody but Theo. “How do I move?”, she asked Fíli quietly and he laughed. “Hold the reigns and press your heels slightly into Martha’s flanks.”, he guided her. Theo did as she was told and let out a small gasp as Martha started moving. “That’s it.” Fíli’s horse moved beside hers and together with Kíli they made the end of their little convoy.   
“So where are you traveling, actually? I wasn’t really listening last night.”, Theo admitted. “We’re visiting family in the iron hills.”, Fíli was quick to answer, cutting off Kíli. “And how far is that?” “If we don’t run into any complications, we should be there in about four to five months.”, he continued. “How long?” Theo was looking at him dumbfounded. “Well, it is quite some distance.”, he defended himself.   
“I didn’t mean any offense, it’s just where I’m from we don’t travel for distances that far on foot.”, Theo explained. “For a trip like that we would just take a… ship?” If they didn’t have any cars, they wouldn’t have planes either. “We have to travel over a mountain and there aren’t any rivers big enough to travel all the way.”, Fíli declared. “It’s easier this way.”   
“Do you know how long I will be traveling with you?”   
“Tired of us already?”, Kíli asked, causing Theo to shake her head. “Does generally tired count? I didn’t really get much sleep last night.”  
“It’s not our fault you just stormed out.”, Fíli noted. 

“Hey, your uncle wanted me gone.” Theo looked in between Fíli and Kíli. “How did Gandalf actually convince him to take me with you? I thought he would kill me on the spot if I ever came near you again.” Kíli laughed. “He might have said something along those lines at first.”, he informed her. “He called you a mad-woman with no manners whatsoever.”   
“Kíli.”, Fíli jumped at his brother, but Theo blurted out laughing as he did so.   
“I didn’t call him anything nice either, so I guess we’re even.”   
“Talking of that, I recommend you don’t call him any names again.” Theo looked at Fíli. “Why, is he sensitive in that direction?”   
“He might change his mind and leave you tied to a tree.”   
Kíli laughed at his brother’s words. “I think he’d do worse. Remember when he smacked this merchants head into a table for insulting mother?”   
“Yes I do, but I didn’t want to scare her.”, Fíli answered, shooting an apologizing look towards Theo.   
“Don’t worry about me. I’m a firm believer in talk shit, get hit.”   
Both brothers laughed out loud. “Talk shit, get hit. I need to remember that one.”, Fíli said.   
“With that brother I thought you’d live by that motto.”, Theo muttered, which made Fíli laugh even more. “I have to admit I do most times.”   
“Hey.” Kíli feigned being offended. “Never in my life have I ever talked shit.”  
“But you’re talking right now.” Theo couldn’t hold herself back.   
At her words Fíli had to laugh so hard he had to cough.   
“Thorin is right, you are a mad woman. Nobody in their right mind would say such things.” Kíli acted hurt, but the huge grin plastered on his face told her otherwise. 

They spent most of the day that way.   
Taking turns in making fun of each other.   
Theo was very glad they could laugh about themselves and didn’t take everything too serious. They also were very nice when they introduced her to the other members of the company.   
The biggest surprise was to learn they had actually bet on weather Bilbo would come along or not. It was a good thing she had nothing on herself as much as she liked bets. Otherwise she would be broke very soon. They did just bet on anything.   
Everything considered she guessed she was quite lucky to have met this group. They definitely were weird in many ways, but they were kind… Mostly. A few of them thought she was crazy, but those just ignored her. She could live with that. 

When they finally stopped in the late afternoon Theo felt half dead. She couldn’t wait to go to sleep. Her legs couldn’t either. When she swung her leg over Martha and tried to get down, it simply buckled underneath her. 

Nori and Kíli didn’t care to hide their laughs as they watched the whole ordeal. “Do you always get off your pony like that lass?”, Nori yelled. “Why, got a problem with that?”, she asked while she got back on her legs. Fuck they’d be sore tomorrow. “Not at all, it’s quite a view.” He laughed again when she flicked him the finger.   
“Come on lass, I can use a hand making dinner.” Bofur appeared next to her and pulled her away. “Don’t let him bother you, he’s like that with everyone.”, he told her, nodding towards Nori. “It’s no bother, I can laugh about myself.” “That’s good. Nobody likes people with a stick up their arse. Do you know how to skin a rabbit?” “Uhm, no?” “Well, we have to teach you then.”   
Bofur made true on that promise, and an hour later Theo knew how to skin a rabbit.   
It wasn’t as bad as she thought, but she realized she had never appreciated the local butcher enough. 

The stew Bofur made was actually quite good. Theo kept to herself while she ate, listening to the stories the others told. She was just so tired. She had hardly slept last night, was still hungover and tired from the day on the road. If her eyes weren’t attached to her head, they probably would have fallen out by the time everybody finished eating.   
She didn’t bother to put up a fight when Bilbo and her were told to take care of the dishes. He didn’t either.   
By the way he walked his legs were as sore as hers. “Not used to riding either?”, she asked him when they walked towards the stream nearby. “No, I wished they just let me walk.”, he complained. Theo could sympathise. “We just have to get through the first few days, then we’ll be fine.” 

Both groaned as they got to their knees, starting to clean bowls, spoons and the pot.   
The water was cold, and by the time they were done they had red hands. The light was fading quickly now and they hurried to get back to camp as long as they could see where they were walking.   
Theo enjoyed his company. He was so calm, especially compared to the rest of the company. She noticed the looks he threw her when he thought she didn’t see her. He was obviously team nuts. Okay, everyone was team nuts, but he was one of the few who neither ignored her nor made fun of her. 

They returned everything to Bofur and Bombur and then dropped down near the fire. Bilbo on his bedroll, Theo on the ground. He watched her as she lay down on the ground and tried to make herself comfortable. “Don’t you have a blanket?”, he asked after a while, causing Theo to shake her head. “It’s fine, the coat is warm enough and we have a fire.” If Theo was honest, she would have preferred a mattress over a blanket. She feared in a few days she’d walk around like an old hag.   
“Did you sleep like that last night?” Bilbo seemed unbelieving. “It wasn’t that bad; I really enjoyed the stars.” Theo finally settled on her side, her arms under her head. She had pulled her beanie back over her head and her hands snuggled into the sleeves of her coat. Bilbo didn’t seem to believe her. Well, she wasn’t completely honest, so she couldn’t blame him. But she refused to be the damsel in distress even more than she already was, so she would just suck it up and be cold.   
“I’m good, really.” She confirmed once more. He probably still didn’t believe her, but he let it go anyways. At least he got comfortable in his bedroll and didn’t say anything else. Theo shuffled around once more before she closed her eyes.   
As tired as she was, she fell asleep in a few minutes.   
_________________________________________________________________________

When Theo woke up the next morning, someone had laid a horse blanket over her. Nobody said a word and she smelt of horse ever since, but from that moment she used it every night.


	4. Rainy days

Everything was wet. 

Wet and cold. 

It had started drizzling two days ago and hadn’t stopped ever since, it just got worse.  
Even the most optimistic of the company where silent.   
Being damp to the bone with no end in sight was enough to break any spirit.   
Theo guessed most of the others where off a bit better than her and Bilbo, since they had heavy leather coats, but the two of them were soaked. At least Theo had nice and warm boots, but Bilbo kept sniffing ever since they got up that morning. 

The worst thing was that they just couldn’t find a dry enough place to stay for the night. Nobody wanted to stay in this weather without any cover. Last night they had found shelter at the bottom of a cliff. The overhang was enough to protect them from the worst, but today nothing like that was in sight. 

“Fíli, Kíli!” Thorin’s voice cut through the constant rain. The brothers sped up until they were at the front of their small party. “Go ahead and try to find some shelter!”, he ordered his nephews. “Of course.”, Kíli agreed at once and Fíli nodded. Then he threw a look over his shoulder towards Theo, who was riding next to Nori in silence. “Can we take Theo? She’s been shaking for the last few hours. She needs to get out of the rain as soon as possible.” 

Theo looked up at those words. She wasn’t aware anybody had noticed; she had tried to conceal it as much as possible. When Thorin threw her a brooding look she strained herself to look as indifferent as possible.   
Apparently not very successful, because with a roll of his eyes he nodded. Fíli waved her to join them, and with a quiet sign she pushed Martha forwards. Kíli had taught her some riding in the last week, so at least she didn’t embarrass herself completely.   
The brothers waited for her to catch up, then they moved ahead. 

The rain hit them even harder in the face as they sped up, it was simply the worst.   
None of them said anything as they followed the path over the hills, barren of anything that could grant them cover.   
“Over there!”, Kíli yelled suddenly. He was the first on top of the hill they were riding up. When Theo and Fíli caught up to him, they followed his outstretched arm to a forest in the distance.   
“Finally.” Fíli said what Theo was thinking.   
It was by no means perfect, but it was better than anything else they had encountered. 

“What about the river?”, Theo asked and nodded towards the water that was rushing between them and the protecting green.   
“It’ll be fine.”, Kíli assured her. “The ponies can manage it.”   
Without any other words they moved forward.   
The closer they came towards the river, the louder the rushing water got. Theo wasn’t overly confident in Kíli’s assurance. Even if they made it to the other side, they would be soaked. She silently said goodbye to her dry feet. 

“Kíli you go first, Theo you follow him after he made it over there and I’ll be right behind you.”, Fíli commanded them and both nodded their heads in agreement.   
“It’ll be fine, just follow Kíli’s way.”, Fíli told Theo as they watched Kíli walk his pony into the water.   
He slowly made his way forward. It didn’t take long until his pony was almost completely sunk into the water. By the look of his clenched jaw he was fighting hard against the current. “This is bad.”, Theo whispered, holding on tightly to the reigns. There was no way she would be able to do this. “He’ll make it.”, Fíli murmured quietly. Theo could tell it wasn’t to calm her down, he tried to reassure himself.   
She reached over and squeezed his hand slightly, hoping to give him some sort of comfort.   
They stayed that way as Kíli kept moving forwards. 

When he made it past the middle of the river Fíli let out a breath. “He’s alright. He’s going to ma…”   
Fíli didn’t finish his sentence. Where Kíli had seemed safe for a moment, his pony lost it’s footing in the next and within seconds both disappeared in the water.   
“Kíli!” 

Without hesitation Fíli forced his pony into the river, hurrying to get to his brother. But it was no use, Theo watched as the current pulled Kíli down the river. She didn’t think and made Martha dash along the river side. Only when she was a good distance ahead of him, she jumped of, landing hard on the ground, before Martha even came to a halt.   
She ripped the coat from her shoulders. No thought spared to herself, she threw herself into the water, fighting against it. It was only adrenaline that kept her head over water, she already felt herself drifting off. Franticly she searched for Kíli, he must be near. She couldn’t have missed him. 

Suddenly the breath was knocked out of her when something crashed against her. Kíli. With everything she had left in herself she held onto him, trying to keep his head over water. But she had no idea if she was successful.   
They had to get out of the water.   
Theo tried to get some ground under her feet, but whenever she did, it just slipped away. Kílis limp body kept pulling her down and Theo chocked on the water she swallowed. She felt her muscles giving in, she wouldn’t be able to stay up much longer. 

A branch. 

She reached out and with a jolt they stopped moving. Theo yelled out as the current kept pulling at her, straining her shoulder, but her hand stayed locked on the branch. She couldn’t let go. If she would, they wouldn’t get up again. Theo tried to pull them up further out of the water, but it was no use. She didn’t have the strength.   
She hardly had enough to hold on.   
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.   
Theo repeated the words in her head, it was all she could do.   
Hold on. 

“Hold on!” 

It took her a moment to realize it wasn’t just in her head.   
She did as she was told, forcing her hands to stay where they were. One at the branch, the other around Kíli.   
Suddenly there was something else next to them and when she opened her eyes, she saw blonde hair.   
Fíli’s arms wrapped around them and pulled them away. When Theo could feel ground under her feet, she lurched forwards, only being kept up by Fíli’s arm. He pulled them towards the shore and a moment later they fell against the embankment. 

Like on autopilot they climbed up, pulling unconscious Kíli with them until they were safe from the water.   
For a moment they just lay there, fighting for breath.   
Then Fíli forced himself up, crawling towards Kíli.   
“Wake up.” 

Theo turned to her side and saw Fíli cowering over his younger brother, who was lying moveless in the mud. “Please Kíli, wake up.” He held Kílis face in his hands, shaking him lightly. “You have to wake up.”   
She could see his hands shaking as he did so.   
Theo rolled around and crawled towards them, her shoulder screaming out in pain.   
“Kíli, you can’t… you have to wake up.” Fíli’s voice was breaking.   
“Fíli, let me.” Theo hardly recognized her own voice, but Fíli didn’t seem to hear her anyways. “Fíli.” She gently pushed him away, but he didn’t move. “Fíli, let me help him.”  
At that he looked up, the tears in his eyes about to spill. 

Theo wanted to hold him, to calm him down, but there was no time. Instead she cowered next to Kíli and started a cardiovascular massage. She bit back a groan when she forced her weight on her shoulder. That had to wait. 

Theo counted, she wasn’t sure how often she had to push down, was it 28? She didn’t know but it had to do. She pinched Kílis nose and breathed into his mouth twice, then she went back to pushing against his chest. This had to work. She didn’t know what to do if it didn’t.   
Again, she breathed into his mouth.   
“Wake up, God dammit!”, she yelled at him, while pushing his chest even harder. “Wake the fuck up!”

He did. 

He chocked. 

Fíli rolled him on his side as Kíli spat out half of the rivers water, before he finally took a breath.   
Theo fell back and watched as Fíli held onto his brother who still fought for air. She saw his lips moving, but didn’t hear what he said. She didn’t hear anything.   
Suddenly Thorin appeared next to them, falling on the ground beside his nephews.   
He was yelling something and Theo saw Fíli’s lips move as well, but she still didn’t hear anything. They looked at her for a moment, then back to Kíli. 

More people came to them.   
Everybody was upset, but Theo could just stare at Kíli. He was still lying on his back, just breathing. His lips were blue. There was blood on his forehead. There was mud smeared all over him and he was lying in even more mud.   
His lips were blue, but they moved.

Suddenly she was pulled into someone.   
Theo needed a moment to realize it was Fíli. “You saved him.”, he whispered quietly. “You saved him.” He held her tightly in his embrace and it took Theo a moment to return the hug. “You saved us.”, she replied, her voice barely there. 

She didn’t know how long they would have sat in the mud that way if someone didn’t make them get up. They were moved towards the trees, Thorin supporting Kíli, while Theo and Fíli kept each other up. Or maybe Fíli just kept Theo up, she didn’t really know. 

The others were busy making camp as fast as possible. Dori and Ori made quick work of lighting a big fire, toward which they were stumbling. “They need to get out of these wet clothes.” Oin appeared in front of them, checking Kíli’s head. “How do you feel boy?”, he asked him and Kíli winced when he pressed against the gash on his head. “Like shit.”, he croaked and Oin nodded. “You’ll live.”  
“How about you two?” He moved over to Fíli and Theo. “I’m fine.”, Fíli said and Theo nodded. “Just cold.” Her voice sounded as bad as Kíli’s.   
“Put on some dry clothes and sit by the fire. Dori’ll make you some tea.” Fíli nodded and tried to pull her along, but Theo stood still. “I don’t have anything dry.”, she whispered, when he turned around to her. “Oh” For a moment he looked at her while thinking.   
“I have another spare.”, he finally said and pulled her with him. 

Someone had caught their ponies. Even Theo’s coat had been found where she had dropped it.  
But for Kíli’s pony Tuck help had been too late. Dwalin and Nori had tried to pull it out, but it had already drowned. The only thing they could safe was Kíli’s pack.   
Fíli searched through his bag, while Thorin got Kíli some clothes. He didn’t have anything dry left either.   
While Kíli and Theo waited, soaking wet and shivering, he turned towards her. “I guess I owe you a thank you.” Theo winced at the sound of his voice. “You should thank your brother, he’s the one who pulled us out.” Now it was Kíli’s turn to pull a face. She couldn’t blame him, she sounded like shit. They both did. “But you got to me and held us over water.” He coughed. “At least that’s what Fíli said.” “Still, if he didn’t pull us out, we’d still be in there.”

Thorin joined them, holding up a bundle towards Kíli. “Here, get changed.” Kíli nodded and walked into the trees for some privacy. As he walked away, Thorin turned to her. “Fíli says he wouldn’t have saved him without you. Thank you.” The look in his eyes was serious but honest. “Anybody would have done the same.”, Theo answered. “There is no need to thank me.” He shook his head. “No, Fíli said you nearly drowned yourself and got Kíli to breathe again. No everybody would have done that.” When she opened her mouth again, he shook his head. “Thank you.”, he said again and walked away before she could say anything else. 

Fíli returned a moment after, holding out some piece of clothing towards her. “Here. I’m afraid I don’t have another pair of pants, but I don’t think we have anything that would fit you anyways.” Theo could tell how bright his face glowed, even in the twilight. “It’s fine, thanks.” She quickly took what he offered her and walked towards the trees as Kíli had. If it meant she could get out of her clothes, she would wear a toga.

Once she was somewhat hidden from view, she unfolded what Fíli had given her. It was a tunic similar to what he usually wore. Making sure nobody saw her, she sniffed at it. Of course, it smelled of him. Carefully she lay it on the ground next to her and started unbuttoning her own shirt with stiff fingers. She had to bite back a groan when she shrugged it off, her shoulder protesting. She must have pulled something. Careless she dropped her shirt and tried to pull her tank top over her head.   
This time she couldn’t hold back the groan. She couldn’t lift her arm any higher than shoulder level without the want to cry out. She tried for a few times, swearing as she did so, until a cough startled her.

“Are you alright?” It was Fíli.

“Uhm…” Dammit. “I can’t take of my shirt, I hurt my shoulder.”, she admitted, feeling her face grew hot, even though Fíli couldn’t see her. He didn’t answer for a moment. “Do you want me to help you?”, he finally offered, his voice hoarse. Theo’s face got even hotter. “If you don’t mind.” Theo was glad her voice was so fucked up, otherwise she didn’t know what sound she would make. This was so embarrassing. 

Fíli slowly walked around the trees, holding a blanket. He looked about as uncomfortable as she felt. “If you want to, I can get someone else, I don’t want to impose myself.” Fíli nearly stumbled over his words and Theo looked at him with raised eyebrows. Get who? “No, it’s fine, unless you don’t want to.” Her face must look like a tomato. “No, no, I just…” Fíli cleared his throat. “What do need me to do?”   
“Can you pull it over my head?”, she asked, trying to avoid his eyes and gesturing towards her shirt. “Sure, I…” Slowly he stepped closer, until he was right in front of her. “I just…” He trailed of as his fingers found the hem of her shirt, lingering there for a moment. His eyes found hers, looking for approval and Theo found herself nodding. “It’s fine.” Theo’s voice was quiet.   
Fíli nodded as well and slowly pulled the wet cloth upwards. Theo lifted her arms und bit back the groan as long as she could. She only was successful until he pulled it over the shoulders, causing Fíli to stop. “I’m sorry, are you okay?” “Mhm.” Fíli hurried to pull the shirt all the way off and let out a breath when he finally did so. His eyes were locked on the wet shirt he held in his hands and so were Theo’s. “I should… do you… do you need any more help?” Fíli stumbled over his words.   
“I… I think I’m good.” Theo swallow hard, while Fíli nodded. 

“I’ll be at the fire; the blanket is for you.” He hesitantly held out the shirt towards her and Theo was quick to take it off him. “Thanks.” Without looking at her he turned around and left the way he came.   
For a moment Theo just stood there, her face hot enough to light a fire. She could never look him in the eyes again. Not that she was embarrassed about him seeing her body, she felt good in her body. No, that was just too… too intimate. She wasn’t even sure why, somehow it wouldn’t have been so intimate with someone else. She had the feeling Fíli was even more embarrassed. And now she had to get back out there and pretend everything was fine. God help her. 

With shaking hands, she pulled off her boots and jeans and then grabbed Fíli’s tunic.   
This time she bit back any pain when she lifted her shoulder and pulled it over her head. She just had to suck it up.  
It was way too big and nearly fell to her knees, but she secretly loved it. She wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and picked up all her own stuff before she made her way back to camp. The forest floor tweaked against her bare feet, but her boots were just dripping. No way she would put them back on.

The first person she ran into was Bilbo. He was clearly embarrassed to see her half naked. At least she supposed it was half naked to him. “If… uhm… if you give me your clothes, I can wash them. I don’t think you want to wear them all mud covered tomorrow.”, he offered. “Oh, I can do it myself.” Theo tried to decline his offer, but he wouldn’t have it. “No, Thorin wants the three of you to warm up, I’m washing Fíli’s and Kíli’s clothes as well.” He all but ripped them from her hands. “Thanks.”  
But he was already gone, apparently glad to get away from her. 

Theo had the strong feeling that women didn’t wear any revealing clothes around here. Imagine if she had drowned in a lake. The looks if she had turned up in a bikini would have been priceless. She continued her way to the fire where Kíli and Fíli were sitting, covered in blankets, holding steaming cups in their hands. When she dropped her boots and sat down next to them, they looked up. Although Fíli didn’t quite look her in the eyes. 

“Here.” He held out another steaming cup towards her and she took it with a small thanks. He was definitely embarrassed. Would it lighten the mood if she told him she was used to be seen in much more revealing clothes? Or would it simply make everything worse? 

Probably the later.

Throwing a look around camp, Theo saw that they had made a second fire, probably to leave them as much space as possible.   
They were sitting in silence, drinking Dori’s tea, which was definitely spiked, until Nori and Bofur came over to bring them some stew. “Have you ever seen someone go to such lengths to get a lass undressed?”, Nori asked Bofur loudly, causing Theo to choke on her sip and sending her into a coughing fit. “Not yet, but there’s a first time for everything.” Both of them laughed as they passed them the bowls, knowing very well what they were doing. 

“Didn’t you think of asking her first?”, Nori asked Fíli with a smirk and Theo could only watch in horror as he shifted uncomfortable. “Maybe he just wanted to make sure she had to get out of her clothes. Give her no chance to decline.”, Bofur answered for Fíli, and both blurted out laughing again. They probably just wanted to lighten the mood, but they poked dangerously close to home.   
“It wasn’t me who fell in the water.”, Fíli defended himself, his voice hoarser than it had been before. “Right, it was the younger.”, Bofur continued. “Probably trying to impress the lass.”   
At that Kíli let out a groan. He sounded awful. “You’ll never let me forget this, right?” “No.” Bofur and Nori laughed again and Kíli buried his head in his hands. Theo really felt bad for him.   
“Can’t you at least wait until tomorrow? Or until we had more to drink?”, Theo asked, desperate for this to be over. 

“Look, he needs her to protect him again.” Nori’s grin reached from ear to ear. Fíli, Kíli and Theo shared a pained look. They knew they haven’t heard the end of this. “Don’t you have anything better to do?”, Fíli asked, pinching his nose in annoyance. “No, not at all.”, Nori replied, shrugging his shoulders. “But if you want some privacy with the lass, you just have to say so.”   
Still laughing, they left them alone again. 

“We’re fucked, aren’t we?”, Theo asked the brothers, while stirring the stew.   
“So fucked.”, Kíli agreed, before he started coughing again, startling Fíli. “Are you okay?” He had the concerned look only a big brother could have on his face. Theo could sympathise. She always worried about her sisters too, especially her younger. However, it also sent a shot of envy and sadness through Theo. She missed them. Never before had she gone so long without talking to them. Even when they didn’t see each other, they always sent each other texts or stupid memes. Theo wasn’t even sure how long she had been gone. A week? A week and a half? Something about that least.   
“Theo?” 

She whipped up her head, feeling as she had been caught. “What?” “Are you feeling alright?”, Kíli asked her, looking concerned. “You looked a bit sick for a moment.” “Is it your shoulder? Should I get Oin to get a look at it?” Theo pulled the blanket a bit tighter around her, as the brothers watched her closely. “No, no… I’m fine.” Neither of them seemed convinced. “I’m just hungry.”, she tried to explain, focusing on the bowl of stew in her hands. 

There was no way she would break down in front of them, it was better to pretend everything was fine. It was one thing to be the crazy girl, but she refused to be the crying crazy girl. And she knew without a doubt that she would cry if she talked about her sisters. 

Fìli opened his mouth to say something else, but luckily, he was interrupted by Dori, who came to refill their cups. “I can’t believe you did something so stupid.”, he scolded them, while he poured Kíli some tea. “As Thorin’s heirs you should be more thoughtful than this.” Suddenly it wasn’t Theo who was uncomfortable, it was the brothers. But Theo was confused. “What do you mean by Thorin’s heirs?”, she asked Dori. It was odd to use those words.

Dori whipped his head around at her, looking as confused as her. “Don’t you know they are of the line of Durin?” Theo just shook her head at his question. “Who is Durin?”   
“By Mahal, have your parents taught you nothing?”, he all but scolded her. “Durin was one of the first Dwarfs, a child of Mahal himself. Thorin, as his eldest living descendent, is our king. And Fìli and Kíli are his heirs.” Theo looked at him with wide eyes. “No way… Are you serious?” “Of course I am, why would I joke about this?” Dori looked offended, as if it was totally normal to talk about someone being a king. 

Theo probably had the most stupid look possible on her face, when she turned her head to look from Dori to Fìli and Kíli. “Are you princes?”, she asked them, still not believing Dori. The brothers shared a pained look, then Fìli finally nodded. “What the hell, you told me you’re a blacksmith. You lied.” Theo wasn’t mad, she was bloody excited. Maybe this would turn out to be some sort of Game of Thrones world.   
“It wasn’t really a lie, I work as a blacksmith.”, Fìli defended himself, looking somewhat ashamed. “So, do I have to curtesy?”, she inquired, before bursting out in a laugh. “Do I have to call you your royal highness or something?” This was fucking amazing. “No.”, Fìli was quick to answer, his face bright red. “Do I get knighted for helping you?”, she asked Kíli.  
That would be awesome, maybe she could even get a title. Noble lady Theodora Forlon. That sounded nice. “I guess we could ask Thorin if you want.”, Kíli said slowly, looking at Fìli for confirmation. “No, I’m fine. But I’m really disappointed you didn’t tell me. We missed out on so many good jokes.”   
Again she laughed. “I can’t believe I’m sitting on a campfire with prince William and prince Harry of I don’t even know. Do you have any idea how many questions I have?”


	5. Familybonds

It had been six days since Kíli almost drowned in the river. He had made a good recovery. The gash on his forehead was healing quite nicely and his cough was mostly gone. His voice was still a bit hoarse, but so were Fíli’s and Theo’s voices. 

In these last days Theo had learned, to get on the good side of this company, you simply had to save one of their lives. She still didn’t think she deserved the praise, after all Fíli had pulled them out of the water, however they had their minds set. Now even Dori talked to her from time to time instead of just throwing her mistrusting looks. It was actually nice, if she had known that, she would have tried saving someone earlier. 

The second thing she had learned was to never get on Thorin’s bad side again.   
He still ignored her for most of the time, but Kíli and Fíli had gotten quite some shit for their stunt in the river. In Thorin’s opinion they should have known to look for a safer place to cross the river. As soon as the initial scare had worn off, he punished them by ordering them to take the middle watch every night for two weeks straight.   
Theo wasn’t sure if he meant to, but everyone heard him yell about how irresponsible they had been, risking their lives like that.

The third and last lesson had been about the expenses of ponies. Apparently, they cost quite a lot and since Kíli’s pony had drowned, they were one short.   
Which had led Kíli and Theo to share a pony ever since. 

This had its pro’s and con’s. On the upside Theo had to do nothing but sit behind him for most of the day and she could lean against his back whenever she was tired. And she was glad she didn’t have to share a pony with Fíli. Not that Theo wouldn’t have liked to sit close to Fíli all day, he was just too hot for his own good. No, while she would have enjoyed it, she figured Fíli would have been quite uncomfortable. Ever since he helped her to take off her shirt and had seen her half naked, he kept staring at her whenever he thought she didn’t notice, only to look away when she looked back. He must have been pretty repulsed by what he had seen. 

But back to the cons.   
Whenever Theo was tired and leaned against Kíli, everybody thought it was funny to comment on it. About how much the lass enjoyed the little prince’s company. And how cosy they were getting. Which would have been bad enough as it was, but seeing how Fíli almost fell of his own pony when Dwalin made an especially colourful comment made it ten times worse.   
Oh boy, she definitely had to stop crushing on him.   
He was a prince, heir to the throne no less, and she was the crazy chick who dreamt it all up.   
Which was why she was trying to avoid him whenever she could.   
It wasn’t very easy. Kíli always rode next to him during the day, which she couldn’t blame him for. And if she was honest to herself, she didn’t really want to avoid Fíli. He was great company and she enjoyed talking to him. 

Fuck, she had no idea what to do.

She kept raking her head over what she could do. And she was doing so right now.   
They had just made camp for the night and once again she was tasked with cleaning the dishes.   
She had rinsed most of them in the shallow stream already, piling them on a rock next to her. Bifur was sitting on a log nearby, sharpening some knifes. Everyone else was closer to camp, and Theo was thankful for that. Bifur never really talked to her and when he did, she had no idea what he talked about anyways, so she could just lose herself in her head. 

She still couldn’t believe Thorin was actually a king.   
Well, she could believe he was a king, but she couldn’t believe Fíli was his heir. 

It was fucking mean.   
He was kind, funny, incredibly good locking, and on top of all that he was a bloody royal. Her head was fucking killing her for coming up with such an insane coma dream. Why couldn’t she be drinking margaritas on some beach and have sex with Fíli for weeks on end? Why the fuck did she have to be here and scrub bowls, breaking her head over him?   
With a scowl on her face she finished cleaning the last of the dishes. Theo got up and bended forward, stretching her stiff body. She really wished they could just walk for a day. Or maybe just play soccer or something. Moving her body always helped clear her mind. It made her feel alive and strong. Just thinking about getting on the ice and playing hockey made her fingers twitch. It would be so much better than sitting here and brooding over a guy. 

Theo straightened up her body, reaching her arms over her head to stretch her back and shoulders.  
„Mahalu-me turg!“   
Theo looked up towards Bifur, who returned the look unbelieving. “What?”, she asked, dropping her hands to her sides. Bifur stood up, his axe forgotten on the ground and hurried towards her in long streaks. 

He roughly grabbed her right wrist and yanked it around, causing Theo to yell out. “What the fuck?” Bifur rambled something as he looked at her wrist, tracing the tattoo she carried there.   
“Forlon.” At that word Theo whipped up her head. “What did you say?”   
Bifur ignored her question and pulled her with him back to the camp. “Thorin!”, he yelled out, making his way to said man. As soon as he had his attention, he started talking in Khuzdul, not letting go of Theo. Whatever he was telling Thorin got everybody in earshot to stop what they were doing. Theo tried again to get out of Bifur’s grip, when he ripped her arm around, revealing her tattoo to Thorin and Balin. They examined it in silence. 

“Does someone care to tell me what’s going on?”, Theo asked, but her request was ignored. Balin said something Theo didn’t understand, causing Thorin to whip his head in his direction. He replied in Khuzdul before he turned towards Theo.   
She had no idea what was going on, but he looked pissed. Really pissed. 

Suddenly he grabbed her arm, ripping her out of Bifur’s grip and pushing her against the trunk of a nearby tree. Theo yelled out when he kept her in place with one arm, while his other hand pulled down her blouse. “Get the fuck off me!”, Theo cursed and tried to get away from Thorin, but he was a lot stronger than her. Not caring about her yells and curses he kept pulling at her blouse and shirt until her right shoulder blade was completely exposed. She felt him touching her skin, the birthmark she carried on the back of her shoulder.   
He muttered something and at once he let go of her. 

Theo took her chance and got away from him. “What the fuck is wrong with you!”, she yelled at him, pulling her blouse back up. She felt her face burn with rage as she looked at Thorin, waiting for an explanation. When he didn’t say anything, she stormed away. 

Fuck this shitshow. 

Ignoring the looks everybody threw her, she made her way out of camp into the wood that surrounded it. 

Fuck Bifur. 

She hit the branches of a bush away as she continued to put distance between herself and everybody else.

Fuck Thorin. 

Theo wrapped her arms around herself, her jaw locked so thigh, she was worried her teeth would snap.   
Fuck all of them. Fuck Gandalf for never being around when he was needed. Fuck everybody to just stare at her. Fuck everybody for not helping her. Theo’s blood was boiling as she thought of Kíli’s and Fíli’s shocked faces. She had thought they were friends. Apparently, she had been wrong.   
With a huff she sat down on a tree stump, brooding about what had happened.   
The hell, she didn’t even know what happened. Not like anybody made any effort to enlighten her about it. Let’s all talk Khuzdul, isn’t it the best? Stupid Theo doesn’t understand it, but let’s just fuck with her, it’ll be fun. 

With furrowed brows she looked down on her wrist. Her arm was bruising already where Bifur had grabbed her. What the hell was so special about her tattoo? It was just an old family seal.   
She had always wanted a tattoo and wanted it to have some meaning.   
It was a two bladed axe, surrounded by some runes. Nobody really knew what language they were, but her granddad had told her they meant family, loyalty and honour.   
What could be so fucking offending about that?  
And what about her birthmark? How was it possible for Thorin to even know about it? And why would anybody care about it? It was just some stupid birthmark.   
“Fuck this shit.”  
There was no way she would go back there. 

“You shouldn’t be out here alone.”  
By the sound of Thorins voice Theos shoulders tensed. “I prefer the company out here.”, she bit back not turning around.   
“We need to talk about what happened lass.” Great, he brought Balin too. 

“So now you want to talk.” It wasn’t a question, and Theo certainly wasn’t in the mood to talk.   
“We might have reacted inappropriately.”, Balin admitted, causing Theo to chuckle bitter. “You think so?”  
“Where did you get that tattoo?”, Thorin asked, causing Theo to bite her lips. “At a tattoo parlour, the girl who did it did a nice job, don’t you think so?” Theo knew it wasn’t the answer he wanted, but she was not willing to comply to anything. Thorin sighed and a moment later he stepped in front of her, looking her down with this fucking serious look.   
“Why that seal?”, he asked again, and Theo glared at him.   
“It’s my family’s seal, I shouldn’t have to explain myself for it.”   
“Who is your family?”   
Theo felt as if she was interrogated. And she was. 

“My family name is Forlon. My father is Alexander Forlon. Why is that name so important?” Thorin looked up to Balin for a moment, then his eyes were back on her. “Who is your grandfather?”, he asked, causing Theo to sigh. So he wouldn’t answer any of her questions. “Rorvi Forlon. If you want to go any further, we’re going to have a problem, because I don’t know anyone older than him.”   
“Rorvi.”, Thorin whispered, like the name meant something to him.

“Where did you come from lass?” Now Balin took up the spot next to Thorin. He looked at her with his kind face, however now his features were serious.   
“I told you before, I got badly injured and woke up in the middle of the road. As far as I know this is still some fucked up dream.” What answer did they expect from her?  
“Where did you grow up?” Theo looked back at Thorin. “In a small mountain town in the alps?”, she offered, not knowing what they expected.   
“What do you know of the Forlons?”, Balin tried, causing Theo to shake her head. “Are you asking me what I know about my family?” She huffed. “We are a miner’s family from a small mining village in the mountains. We lived there for generations. There is nothing special about us.” 

She looked between the men in front of her. “Why is this so important?”, she inquired.   
Balin pinched his nose, while Thorin just stared at her. “Bofur told us you didn’t know of dwarfs.”, Balin broke the silence. “The line of Forlon goes all the way back to the first dwarfs. They were noble and loyal.” Balin sighed. “The lines of Durin and Forlon always were close. They worked together many times; they were there for each other in times of need.” He stopped for a moment, looking at Thorin before he shook his head. “That was until their line ended about 140 years ago at the battle of Azanulbizar.”   
Theo looked at him confused. What did this have to do with her? 

“Rorvi and his father Roan fought brave, however...” Balin’s voice trailed off.   
“They died.”, Thorin continued for him. “They were the last of the line of Forlon and they died in battle.”  
He stopped and looked at her accusingly. “And now you are here, telling us Rorvi was your grandfather and bearing the Forlon seal and birthmark.” Theo felt her fingers twitch in anticipation when he stepped closer. She would not let him shove her around again. “Rorvi was my friend, we grew up together. If I find out you’re lying about anything you’ll regret it.”  
While Theo got angry about the threat, she was very confused about the other thing he said. “Rorvi can’t be your friend, he died about ten years ago. How old are you, sixty at most? And you’re telling me about a battle that happened 140 years ago? Sorry, we are talking of two different people.” Theo couldn’t stop herself from glaring at him.   
“I’m 195 years old, I’m not human.”, Thorin hissed in reply and Theo’s eyes widened in unbelief. “What? No way you’re that old.” 

A sigh from Balin made Thorin and Theo turn their heads. “You really don’t know anything about our folk, do you?”, he asked Theo. “Apparently I don’t.”, she replied, at which Balin nodded his head, before he turned towards Thorin. “We won’t get anywhere this way. The lass doesn’t know anything about our history or anything else. Even if she really is a Forlon, which her birthmark clearly indicates, we won’t find out anything about her this way.”   
“Then what do you suggest we do? She comes here telling insane stories about dying, despite clearly being alive and bearing the birthmark of one of our founding fathers.” Thorin was definitely pissed. “I won’t just take her word for it.”   
“Gandalf wants to take her to Rivendell for some answers. If we go with them, we might find them as well. Until then it might be of some good to teach her about our folk, maybe something will come out of it.”, Balin offered. 

“He says he wants to take her there, but right now he keeps disappearing, leaving her with us.”, Thorin retorted, speaking as if she wasn’t present.   
“Whether we like it or not, she is one of us. There might be some human blood in there, but she certainly is of our folk. We don’t turn our own people away.”, Balin defended her, causing Thorin to cross his arms in front of him. He was clearly unhappy about this whole situation, maybe even more so than Theo was.   
“We might not know what happened to her to say the things she does, but we have to help her. Especially now that we know she is a Forlon.”, the elder continued. Thorin returned his eyes on Theo, glaring at her, measuring her. 

“She can stay for now. But I want to be there when Gandalf and his elvish friends take a look at her.”, he finally declared. “As it is your right.”, Balin answered at once.  
That was enough for Theo. Without warning she stood up from the tree stump, causing the men to look at her. “Who says that I want to stay with you?” She threw a heated glare at Thorin. “I prefer to stay away from people who grab me and push me around without explanation or reason.” Theo tried to fight the urge to punch Thorin, now that he was within reach. She was happy so see her words were enough to make him uncomfortable. 

“I suppose we overreacted back there.”, Balin admitted, though Theo kept staring at Thorin. It was him that she was the angriest with. “Maybe if we had tried to explain ourselves or given you the chance to explain, things would have turned out better.” “You think so?”, Theo replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “You could have just asked about the birthmark. There was no need to force me.”   
Thorin let out a sigh. “I apologize for that. That is the one thing I should not have done.” Theo could tell by the look on his face that he meant it. She was still mad about it, but at least he apologized for it. “As long as you are honest with us, no harm will come to you, I give you my word on that.”   
“Don’t you think I would have thought of a more plausible story if I was lying?”, Theo provoked him. “I’m not lying, I don’t know why you think I would do that, and I definitely don’t know what I should gain from all this.”  
“Well then there should be no problem.”, Thorin simply stated and Theo nodded. “Good. All I want is to wake up from this psycho crazy dream and get home to my family. Even if it means I’m missing half my head.”   
“I suppose we’ll find out about that soon enough.”  
“Great, I can’t wait.”   
“We’ll tell you about our customs and everything you should know about dwarfs, but in return we expect you to tell us about your family and your home.”, Balin said and Theo looked to him. “I guess that’s fair.”, she agreed. “Good. Tonight, we start about you telling me everything you can about your family, maybe we can clear some things up. Tomorrow you’ll get the chance to learn about us.”  
Theo nodded. 

“Fine, now that this is settled let’s go back to camp. And there we can start with you telling me more about yourself.” Without waiting for a reply, Balin made his way back through the trees, leaving Thorin and Theo standing in the dark. 

Theo turned to follow him, but Thorin held her by the shoulder causing her to tense. “I really shouldn’t have done what I did, I was upset by the thought of someone impersonating my friend’s family.”, he told here, his voice stern but sincere. “What’s done is done.” Theo searched for the right words. She was mad, but she could tell he was sorry.   
“How do you know about the birth mark?” Not knowing what else to say she settled on the question.   
“Rorvi was my friend, I have seen it on him.”, Thorin explained. “He told me every member of his line had that mark.” Theo furrowed her brows. She and her sisters all carried the birthmark, they had it from their father. She didn’t know how far it dated back.   
“I don’t know if we’re talking about the same Rorvi, but I really hope we’ll be able to clear this up.”   
“I hope so too.” 

Thorin started to walk towards camp, Theo following him a few seconds later. She wasn’t keen on getting back there, but she didn’t really have another choise.   
The moment she stepped out of the trees all eyes were on her. Maybe she should have stayed in the forest. “Over here lass!”, Balin called out and waved her towards where he was sitting with his brother. Ignoring all the looks thrown her way, Theo made her way towards him and dropped on the ground. When she noticed Dwalin’s eyes lingering on her wrist she pulled the sleeves of her blouse down, shifting uncomfortable on the ground. 

“So, tell me about your family.”, Balin started another conversation Theo wasn’t sure she wanted.   
She was aware he wasn’t the only one listening, it was a lot quieter than usually.  
“There are five of us. My dad Alexander, my mum Margret, my sisters Eliza and Eva, and me.”   
“Where do you live?”  
“In a small mining town called Bergen. My father grew up there.”   
“What place does your family hold among the people in the town?”  
This was a fucking interrogation.   
“We are a working-class family. My father is part of the local fire brigade and my mum is involved at church. Other than that, we are a family like everybody else living there.”  
Theo wasn’t sure what they expected to hear, but there was nothing even remotely special about her family. “And your grandparents? Can you tell us more about them?” Balin wasn’t giving up. “What can you tell us about Rorvi?”

Lost in thoughts Theo wrapped her arms around her knees. “He was a great granddad. He always took us for hikes in the mountains when we were younger.” She couldn’t help but smile at those memories. “He never talked much about his family; he had been an only child. Which had been quite unusual at that time.” Theo felt bad, but she had to admit they had never talked much about his family. It was usually more about her mothers’ side of their family, hers was a lot bigger.   
“I know that his father had died in the war and that he came to our town after his death, but he never said anything about his mother.” At the mentioning of the war Balin seemed interested. “Which war did he die in?” 

“World war two?” As expected, everybody looked at her with questions in their eyes. “I was a huge war that went on for years. There was a very sick man who came into power. He stirred up a lot of hate against a certain group of people because of their believes. They were captured and killed and forced to live in hiding. Then he wanted to pretty much conquer all the world, forcing people to follow him or be killed. In the end it took an alliance of many countries to defeat him.”  
How did you give someone a rundown of the catastrophe that had been? “Did he die in battle?”, Dwalin asked, causing Theo to nod. “Yes, but I don’t know how or when. Nobody ever really talks about the war.” She felt bad just by thinking of the horrors she had learned about it. “It was a dark time in history.”   
As Theo thought about it, nobody had ever actually said that her great grandfather had fallen in world war two, but which other war would there have been?   
“Did your grandfather ever say anything that seemed strange to you?”, Balin inquired further. “Something that might make you think he came from a different place?”   
Theo stayed quiet for a moment, thinking about anything that might have happened. 

“When we were kids, he used to tell us stories about a kingdom underneath a mountain. I don’t remember what the kingdom’s name was, but he said it was the grandest thing anybody could imagine.” She had loved those stories. “That is the only thing I could call strange. It was always the kingdom under the mountain, nobody else ever told stories about that.”   
At her words Balin and Thorin shared a knowing look. “Are you sure you don’t remember the kingdoms name?” Theo slowly shook her head. “I was a kid; I haven’t heard these stories in years. If I had to guess it was something with an e, but I seriously can’t tell you for sure.”

“Was it Erebor?”, Thorin asked, his voice hoarse, but Theo only shrugged her shoulders. “It might have been, but I really can’t tell. I’m sorry.” At her words Thorin looked disappointed. “What is so special about this? Those were just stories for children.” She really didn’t understand their interest.   
“Erebor was our home. That’s where Rorvi and I grew up together.”, Thorin explained.   
The evening continued that way. Thorin and Balin kept drilling Theo for information about her grandfather. Question after question, and she hardly knew how to answer any of them. 

At some point they finally allowed her to go to sleep.   
She was exhausted, but truth be told, she didn’t want to be near any of them. Gandalf still hadn’t returned from wherever to he disappeared every evening and Bilbo and the dwarfs kept looking at her like she was a ghost. Also, she was still pissed nobody had tried to help her earlier.  
So she tried to make herself comfortable a little bit off from the others, but sleep simply wouldn’t come. It didn’t matter what she tried; she couldn’t get her brain to shut up. Not even lying completely moveless for minutes on end helped. 

The snoring that filled the night air didn’t help her find some peace.   
Without any other options she didn’t have a chance but to stay on the ground and hope to find sleep at some point. 

“Do you think she really is a Forlon?” Kíli’s voice startled her, but she managed to stay mostly still. “She has to be, how else would she have gotten that birthmark?”, Fíli replied.   
They must have taken up on their turn to stand guard. “But Thorin said he saw Rorvi’s body himself. It doesn’t make any sense for her grandfather to be the same person.”   
For a moment there was just silence.   
“Nothing about her makes any sense.”, Fíli finally said, causing the anger in Theo’s chest to flare up again. She didn’t make sense? Did they not have any idea how crazy they all seemed to her?   
“Do you think she is just mad?”, Kíli continued to ask, this time receiving his answer right away.   
“No.” At that Theo was surprised. “I think she’s telling the truth. Something has happened to her; I just don’t know what it could be.”   
She had not expected that. 

“Do you like her?”   
“Do you?”, Fíli returned the question without answering.   
“Yes, she’s fun to talk to.” Okay, so at least one of the brothers liked her. “And she helped saving my life, so I can’t really not like her.”   
Well, there’s nothing better than guilting people into liking you.   
“But you didn’t answer my question, do you like her? She definitely likes you.”   
Theo’s breath stopped. That bloody bastard.   
“Why would you say that?” Fíli sounded as shocked as Theo felt.   
“She always looks at you and has this really dumb smile on her face whenever you two talk.” Kíli chuckled. “And at Bilbo’s place she was very interested when I offered to tell her about all your secret skills.”   
She would have to kill him. 

“When did that happen?” Great. Now Fíli probably thought she was some crazy stalker.   
“When we cleaned up. Her mouth was wide open when she saw you dancing.”   
Fuck. There was no way she could ever look at Fíli again.   
“Are you serious?” Fíli didn’t seem to believe Kíli. “I swear. The Forlon girl definitely likes you.”   
She would just run into the forest and never return. That sounded like a good idea.   
“So do you like her?”   
Fíli’s silence was torture. This was worse than everything that had happened before.   
“I guess I do. I just don’t understand her.” Okay, better than nothing. But there was still no way she could ever look him in the eye after what Kíli had told him.   
Kíli’s laugh made it all so much worse. “You do like her. Will you finally tell me what happened after the river? What happened when you brought her the blanket?”  
Oh no, this just got worse by the minute. 

“Nothing happened.”, Fíli was quick to answer. Too quick.   
“Come on, your face was so red I thought it would explode. And you couldn’t even look her in the eyes afterwards.” Kíli please just shut up. Theo started to pray to fall asleep. This was torture.   
“Did you see her naked? How does she look? I only got to see her legs, it’s not fair.”   
“I didn’t see her naked!”   
“A shame, just think of how good her ass must look. I wish all women would wear clothes like that.”   
Theo was about to blow her cover. She couldn’t listen to this any longer. Fíli’s laugh didn’t help at all.   
“She really does have a nice butt.” Couldn’t they just kill her and be done with it? From now on she would never take off her coat again.   
“It’s a tragedy I hardly ever get to look at it anymore. How about you ride with her tomorrow?” You won’t be riding tomorrow if I smash in your head tonight, Theo thought.   
“And how would you explain that to her? Good morning Theo, I hope you are well rested. Would you mind riding with Fíli today, so I can appreciate that marvellous butt of yours?”, Fíli mocked his brother and both started laughing again.   
“I could give it a try.” 

“I’m gonna give it a try to kick your ass if you don’t shut up!”, Dwalins voice suddenly cut through the night, causing several of the company’s members to laugh.   
Theo buried her face in her arm. Had they all been listening?   
She was so fucked.   
The brothers continued to talk, but now they did so in hushed voices, making it impossible for Theo to hear anything else.   
And she didn’t know if she preferred it or not.


	6. You're old

The next morning came way to soon. 

It had taken a long time until Theo was finally able to sleep, and when she had, she had some really weird dreams. She couldn't remember what it was, but they had been bad. 

She had woken before anyone else had. Only Bofur and Ori were awake since they were on watch. To be honest, Theo didn’t mind. It was nice to have a few moments to herself. Mumbling a good morning in their direction she made her way to the small stream nearby to wash her face.   
The cold water really helped to wake her up. Only when her checks burned from the cold, she stopped splashing the water at herself. Instead she sat down in the grass and undid her braid, combing through the mess. She really missed her hairbrush. Keeping her hair in a braid at all time was the only way to keep it somewhat untangled.

Theo took her time to make another braid, she really enjoyed the peaceful atmosphere.   
And after last night she could really use it. 

All this mess about her family really confused the shit out of her. How did her brain make this all up? 

If Theo was honest with herself, it scared her.  
She had to admit that even for a coma, this was a very realistic and long dream. It all felt so real.   
But if it wasn’t a dream, what was it?

Theo wasn’t sure she wanted to consider the alternatives. 

With a sigh she finished up her braid and stood up.   
Maybe if she ignored the whole mess it would sort itself out.   
At least she could hope for it. 

Lost in thoughts she made her way back to the camp, where everybody was slowly waking up and getting ready for the day. Theo snapped herself an apple for breakfast and decided to look after the ponies. 

They didn’t ask any questions she didn’t know the answer to. They were nice.   
Theo took extra care of brushing Martha’s mane. Why couldn’t everybody be like Martha? She never said anything.  
“You’re up early.”

Theo froze. The sound of Fíli’s voice reminded her of the conversation she had heard last night. The conversation she definitely wasn’t supposed to hear. Her face burned by just thinking of his words. 

“I couldn’t sleep.”, she said without turning around, continuing to brush Martha after a moment.  
“I guess it was a bit much last night.”, Fíli continued as he walked towards his own pony.   
“Mhm.” Theo was sure they were talking about different conversations. 

She put away the brush and started to saddle Martha. They said it would take about a month to get to… Riverdale or whatever it was called… and they had been traveling for nearly three weeks, so she only had to get through one more week of this. Maybe this just was her brains way of telling her how long until she had to wake up. 

“Are you ready to learn about us today?”, Fíli asked after a few minutes of silence, while saddling his own pony. “I’m not sure to be honest.”   
Had someone told her a month ago she would have to learn about dwarfs she would have laughed. “Why, are we that bad?”, Fíli inquired, his voice humorous. “Not bad, just weird.”  
“You’re calling us weird?”

Looking up from tightening the strap of his pony, he threw her an offended look. Or at least it was supposed to be offended, his grin gave him away. “You called me worse.”, Theo defended herself and sticked out her tongue at him. “We did, didn’t we?” Fíli scratched the back of his head, looking somewhat embarrassed. Theo just shrugged her shoulders. “It’s fine, you get used to it after a while.”   
Theo finished up packing everything on Martha and sat down next to her.   
She watched as more and more of the dwarfs came to get ready to set out again. 

“Good morning everyone!”   
As if he was never gone Gandalf suddenly appeared in the clearing. “Isn’t it a splendid day?”  
Theo looked at him with raised eyebrows but said nothing. He really was very weird. At least Bilbo was very excited to see him, not wasting time to fill him in on everything that had happened. 

Gandalf kept throwing looks in Theo’s direction, but she pretended not to notice. Instead she just sat on the ground and waited for Kíli, occasional talking to Fíli and Ori who were next to her. Ori was very excited of the idea of her being some sort of… Theo didn’t really know what, but it seemed quite important. 

He kept asking her questions about pretty much everything. For the moment they were stuck with food. “What is your favourite cake?”, he asked, making Theo huff. “That’s a hard question, can we do something different?” “No, what kind of cakes do eat where you’re from?” He might be a quiet guy, but he was persistent. “Wine-cake?” It was the first that came to Theo’s mind. “But I also really like this Italian almond cake and my mum makes a killer apple pie.” She could feel her mouth water at thinking of all that. “I can’t decide, there’s too much to pick.”   
“Do you know the recipes?”, Ori continued to ask. “Some of them, yes.” “Great, tonight you will tell me, and I can write them down.” “Sure.” If he really wanted to know. “What kind of beverage to you have with your cakes?” 

He simply wouldn’t stop. Ori was interested in the most mundane things. What time she got up in the morning, what coffee was like, what a newspaper was… he kept asking all morning, not leaving her alone even after they left, and more than one of the others was listening.   
She tried to talk her way around technology as good as she could, like describing a typewriter instead of a computer, but it wore her down. When he asked her about toilets, she finally groaned. “Weren’t you supposed to tell me something about this world?”   
“She’s right Ori, give her a break.”, Kíli aided her, and for that she was thankful. 

“Why don’t you tell me about you guys instead?”, she asked, looking at Ori.   
“Dwarfs are awesome.”, Kíli answered before Ori could speak. “We are so much better than humans ever could be.”   
Theo laughed at that. “Someone’s sure of himself.” 

“It’s true.”, he continued. “We are a lot stronger than humans. And we are way better at building and crafting things.”   
“And what kind of things do you build?” Hopefully the answer would be something cool.   
“Dwarfs can build anything you can imagine. We can build the biggest and most amazing palaces that anyone would ever have seen. Things you think are impossible.” Kìli gestured widely with his arms, but Theo was sceptical. Kìli had a fable for exaggerating. “Okay, so you like to build things. What else is there to know?” 

“We are great fighters. You should see Fìli with his swords, he’ll cut right through anyone you put in his way.” Theo looked to her left towards Fìli, who looked uncomfortable. “Another of his many skills.”, Kìli continued, either oblivious to his brothers’ discomfort or uncaring. Theo couldn’t put her finger on which it was.   
“Sounds like at least one of you has some skill.”, Theo teased Kìli, which caused an outrage from his side. “How dare you to accuse me of not having any skill. There is no dwarf with a better aim than I have.” Theo grinned. “Okay, so dwarfs aren’t good at shooting, that’s noted.”   
Fìli chuckled at her joke, while Kìli elbowed her in the ribs. 

“You are bloody rude for dam that should be trying to find herself a husband.”, he complained. “Why would you just offend the most desirable young man to ever cross your path?”  
Theo snorted, but tried to feign surprise. “Oh no, where are my manners? Fìli I am so sorry to have offended you! I hope that one day you can forgive me and consider giving me another chance.” 

Fìli and Ori laughed at her words, while Kìli elbowed her again. “I was talking about myself!”   
“I guess I lost my chance then. Grandma will be so disappointed in me. Another one scared away. I guess I will die all alone, for no one would ever want such a rude girl like me.” She really hoped she sounded desperate enough.   
“You’re damn right, no husband for you.”

All four of them fell into laughter.   
“I apologize for my brother, he isn’t used to girls that don’t try to please him.”, Fìli said after they calmed down. “They usually just try to get his attention no matter what.”   
“Like you’re the one to talk. I never had a dam lying naked in my bed for a birthday present.”  
Theo snorted loudly. “No way!” 

“Yes, a few years ago we were out, celebrating Fìli’s birthday and when we came back home, she was waiting for him in his bed, naked as the day she was born.”, Kìli told her. “And then the bloody idiot sent her home.” He looked at his brother accusingly.   
“She has the nicest tits in the whole Ered Luin and he sent her home, can you believe it.”

“Kìli shut up.” Fìli’s face was a bright shade of red while Theo and Ori laughed. “You don’t talk to girls like that.”  
“But Fìli, it’s very rude to send a girl home that just got naked for you.”, Theo said to him, her stomach hurting so hard she was laughing. “I hope you at least kissed her goodnight.”   
“Not you too.” Fìli groaned, clearly having heard this many times before. “See, Theo is a lass and thinks the same. You had the perfect opportunity and didn’t use it.”, Kìli insisted, not letting his brother get away. 

“Well if you think you can to so much better, wait for your eightieth birthday, maybe she will do the same for you.”, the older brother bit back, confusing Theo in the process. “Why eightieth?” That was a very weird specific number. 

“She did it for his eightieth birthday, apparently she wanted it to be special.”, Kìli explained, leaving Theo shocked.   
“His what now?” With her chin hanging low, she looked from one brother to the other. “How old are you exactly?” They didn’t seem to understand her confusion, their brows furrowed. “Kìli is seventy-seven and I am eighty-two.”, Fìli stated as if it was obvious. “Ori, how old are you?”, Theo asked the last of their little group without looking away from Fìli. “Seventy-six, why?” 

No way, there was not a chance they were that old.   
“You’re messing with me.”   
“Why would we lie about our age?”, Fìli asked, clearly not understanding what her problem was. “I don’t know, but there is no way you are that old.” Ori and the brothers shared a confused look. “What are you talking about, you can’t be much younger.”, Fìli spoke again. “I mean, how old are you? I’d say about seventy, but you’re definitely not a day younger than sixty.”   
The fuck. Now she really was speechless. 

“How old do dwarfs actually get?” Theo wasn’t sure she wanted the answer, but she definitely needed one right now. “It’s not uncommon to reach the age of two-hundred and fifty.”, Ori told her and Theo felt like her brain short circuited.   
“Are you okay?”, Fìli asked her at her shocked face, but she didn’t give an answer.

They weren’t kidding. This was to spontaneous to be a joke. And Thorin had said he was hundred and ninety last night, and he had also said her grandfather was in a battle hundred and forty years ago. She was traveling with a bunch of old men.   
“You are old.”, she finally found her voice again and they looked at her in even more confusion. “What do you mean?”, Kìli asked her this time, looking at her over his shoulder. “How old are you?”

Theo looked at him with wide eyes. Was it a bad idea to tell them her age? Maybe she should lie. But they already knew something was up.   
“I can’t tell you.”, she finally said, however that only confused them more. “Why can’t you tell us?” Theo buried her face against Kìlis back at Ori’s question. “If I tell you, can we pretend we never talked about this?”, she begged, her voice muffled.   
“If that’s what you want.” She nodded at Fìli’s words.   
“I’m twenty-six.”

“You’re what?” Kìli yelled loudly, clearly unbelieving. “But that’s a children’s age.”   
So much for not talking about it. Theo kicked him against the leg for yelling. “Shut up, I’m a grown woman.”, she defended herself and looked up. Fìli was staring at her in disbelief, but at least he didn’t yell. 

“You’re really not older than that?”, he asked and Theo shook her head. “But you don’t look like a little girl.” “Well I guess there is some human blood in me after all.”, was all she had to offer, shrugging her shoulders.   
“Considering that humans can usually reach the age of a hundred years, you should be at around the same point of life that we are.”, Ori thought out loud, forcing Theo to do the math. Twenty-six percent out of two hundred and fifty were something between sixty and seventy. She grimaced when she realized that was older than her parents age.   
“I guess.”, she agreed, still shaken up. 

So the hottest guy she had ever met, was over eighty years old.   
She really needed some therapy after this was over.


	7. Trolls

“You two are really stupid you know that, right?” Fíli stood with his arms crossed a few meters from Kíli and Theo, shaking his head. However, he has a smile on his lips. 

“Theo is the stupid one for thinking she can beat me.”, Kíli said, his head bright red.   
“Still not as dumb as you.”, Theo replied, her head about the same shade of red as Kílis.   
Both were swaying, but neither wanted to give the other the pleasure to win. 

Fíli was tempted to just push them over, but he was intrigued to find out who would win their little competition. His guess was on Theo, she had a better balance than Kíli, but the question was how long she would be able to hold herself up on her arms. 

Kíli and Theo were back to back, standing on their hands. It was only the last of a serious of silly competitions they had.   
It had started with Theo being bored and wondering if she would be able to stand up on the pony while riding. She surprised them by actually managing to do so, but Kíli, being the brat he was, sped up Martha, causing Theo to keel over. 

While she had laughed with them when she climbed back up, she challenged Kíli to do better. When he had landed in the dirt just like her, his pride was hurt and he thought of a way to get back at her.   
So, when they stopped for a break around midday, he challenged her to arm wrestle. Theo had really tried, but Kíli defeated her as expected. And that was when he tasted blood and couldn’t bring himself to stop. 

They fought about who could run faster, throw further, had a better aim… anything either of them could think of.   
One would think they would stop at night, but Theo had come into the forest to pee and made the mistake of running into Kíli and now they were back at it again. 

“You lost nearly every time today, what makes you think you can win now?”, Kíli asked Theo and she had to restrain the urge to kick him. “Because you are about as graceful as a tree stump.”, she grunted. Her arms were killing her, but she refused to give up easily. The only time she had actually beat Kíli was when they were running against each other. She would not give him another victory.   
“And you think you are graceful?” Kíli let out a laugh, which almost caused him to fall over. “You’re anything but.”   
“You wouldn’t know what grace is if someone shoved it into your face.”  
If Kíli wouldn’t fall over soon, Theo would. “I prefer other things being shoved into my face.”  
Theo could swear Kílis voice was strained, but his words gave her the perfect opportunity to play dirty. “Like my butt?”  
“Your what?” 

Theo didn’t get a chance to answer, as Kíli lost his balance and crashed against her, causing them both to land in the dirt. They both groaned, but Theo had a huge smile on her face. “I win you moron!”  
“That’s not fair, you cheated!”, Kíli complained as he climbed off her. “It’s not her fault you get so easily distracted.”, his blonde brother defended her while offering Theo a hand. Theo gladly took it and Fíli pulled her up in one strong movement. She offered him a warm smile as a thanks and he returned it just the same.   
“Of course, bond with the enemy.”, Kíli cursed and rubbed his sore back. 

“So now I’m the enemy?” Theo laughed out loudly. “Is there any chance you’re a sore loser?”, she teased Kíli, who sent her a glare in the dark. “He is the worst loser you can imagine.”, Fíli told her and grinned. “I’d be careful if I was you. He might try to get back at you.”   
Now she was interested. “Really? What do you think he will do?” She looked at him curiously and his smile widened. “There really is no telling, he has many stupid ideas in that head of his, but I would look after your boots.” “Why my boots?”

Fíli lay an arm around her shoulder and led her back to the ponies, Kíli following them on the foot. “When he was younger, he liked to fill other people’s boots with worms.”, he told her. “I suspect you got that treatment as well?”, Theo asked, chuckling at that thought. “More than once, and it’s not very nice.” Fíli scratched the back of his head while he laughed out loudly.   
“It’s not supposed to be nice.”, Kíli complained behind them. 

“What did you do to deserve it?”, Theo kept digging, smelling a good story.   
“First of all, I didn’t deserve it, Kíli had it coming.” Fíli threw a look over his shoulder at his brother. “Kíli had dyed my hair blue, because he thought as Thorin’s heir I should represent the colour of the house of Durin more. So, I took him hunting, convinced him to go swimming and ran off with his clothes.”   
“What?” Theo looked at Fíli with her mouth wide open.   
“You should have seen him walking bare assed back to the mountain.” Fíli grinned widely at the memory.   
“He definitely deserved the worms.”, Kíli complained behind them.   
“Did you really dye his hair blue?”, Theo asked Kíli unbelieving. “Did you not just hear what he did? I should have done worse.”, the younger brother brooded.   
“And you just stole his clothes?”, she directed at Fíli.   
“He had it coming.”, he defended himself. 

Theo couldn’t believe what they were telling her. She did have many prank wars with her sisters, but this was definitely next level.   
“Please remind me to never get on your bad side.” Her sisters would have killed her if she had dyed their hair blue. And she would have killed them if they had stolen her clothes when swimming.   
“Don’t worry about me, I never do anything that is undeserving.”, Fíli assured her, raising his hands in defence. “If I have ever done anything to offend either of you, I apologise.” Theo looked from one brother to the other. “I apologize from the bottom of my heart.” 

“You’re lucky you saved my life, otherwise you would be running naked through camp.”, Kíli told her, a grin making its way on his face. “But I could change my mind, so be careful.”   
“Okay, so I’m just going to go get Martha and get out of here.”, Theo joked, acting like she was actually going away. She turned to the ponies, but had to stop. “Where is Martha?”, she asked, counting the ponies when she was not able to spot her. 

“She’s right…”, Fíli pointed deeper into the forest, but his voice trailed off. “She was over there.”, he corrected himself and walked a few steps, before turning around. “Kíli? I think have a problem.”   
“What do you mean?” Kíli walked up to his brother to do a head count. “They don’t usually wander off.”  
“I’ve got your dinner.”, Bilbo suddenly disturbed them as they stood in the dark. When nobody reacted at his presence, his forehead furrowed. “What’s wrong?  
“We were supposed to look after the ponies.”, Kíli told him, not making eye contact.   
“However, we encountered a slight problem.”, Fíli finished, not looking at Bilbo either.   
“What do you mean?” Bilbo looked in between the brothers. 

“We seem to have lost some of them.” Bilbo looked at Fíli in shook. “How did you do that?”   
The brothers ignored Bilbo’s question, walking into the forest to search. Theo followed right behind them, while Bilbo looked around in confusion. It didn’t take long for them to realize that they would not find what they were looking for. 

Instead they found something else. “That is not good.”, Bilbo stated at the uprooted trees that they stumbled on. “Maybe we should tell Thorin.”   
“No, no, we don’t need to worry him.”, Fíli hurried to get that option out of the way. Theo could understand him. After all that shit Thorin put them through because of the river, it was understandable that he didn’t want to get in trouble again. 

“There’s a fire.” At Kílis whisper they all looked deeper into the forest. It was quite some distance away, but there was clearly a campfire.   
Without hesitation Fíli and Kíli made their way in that direction, Theo and Bilbo right behind them.   
Suddenly something heavy came towards them, causing the ground to shake.   
Before Theo could react, Fíli pulled her behind a tree and pressed a hand against her mouth. Apparently not a moment too soon, as Theo felt the tree at her back vibrate while something passed on the other side. 

They stayed hidden for a few moments more and Fíli and Kíli shared a knowing look. “Trolls.”   
Again, they moved forward, although even more careful now.   
“Trolls?” Theo’s voice was hushed, but she couldn’t completely hide her excitement. She would actually see one of the creatures they always told her about. She hurried to follow the brothers, gesturing Bilbo to come as well. There wouldn’t be any harm in looking.   
It didn’t take them long to reach the camp side, where Fíli and Kíli where already hiding behind the trees. “They got our ponies.”, Bilbo exclaimed shocked and Kíli nodded. “You are a burglar, you can bring them back to us.”, he told the hobbit, who stared at him with wide eyes. 

“What? I can’t do that!”, he tried to turn the idea down, but Fíli was with his brother on the matter. “Don’t worry, Trolls are stupid. They won’t even notice you’re there.”  
“But… no, I can’t just…” Bilbo stumbled over his words, while the brothers took the bowls out of his hands. “Yes, you can. If you run into trouble hoot twice like a brown owl and once like a barn owl.”   
With those words Fíli pushed Bilbo further towards the fire, before he slowly tracked backwards.   
Theo only listened with half an ear, watching the trolls with wide eyes. She couldn’t believe what she saw. This was fucking awesome.   
“What are you doing?” Only when Fíli started to pull her arm, she could tear her eyes away.   
“I want to see the trolls.”, she answered quietly, although she followed him back into the forest. “Why?” He threw her a confused look. “I have never seen a troll before.”, Theo explained and he shook his head. “You are a strange girl.” 

Theo ignored his words and they followed Kíli through the darkness back to their camp. “So, what are we going to do now?”   
“It is up to Thorin to decide, but I guess we’ll attack them.”  
“Really?” Theo couldn’t help her excitement. She would finally see them in action. Fíli threw her a calculating look.   
“You are not coming with us.”, he told her, his voice and face serious.   
“Why?”, she asked disappointed.   
“Because you don’t know how to fight.”, Fíli didn’t even look at her as he told her off.   
“But neither does Bilbo and we just left him back there.” She tried to argue. “I promise I won’t get in the way; I’ll just stand by.”  
“No, you stay back and watch the camp.”  
“That’s not fair!”, she complained, but they had already reached the camp and Fíli just ignored her. 

The brothers went straight to Thorin to tell him about the trolls. As Fíli had suspected Thorin immediately ordered everybody to pick up their weapons to attack the trolls. While the dwarfs did as they were told, Theo watched them in anger, her arms crossed in front of her.   
“Promise me you stay here?”  
Theo turned her head towards Fíli, who stood to her right, his swords in his hands.   
“I thought you already made that choice for me.”, she complained and Fíli sighed. “It’s for your own good.” Of course, he would say that. “Can I at least come and see the corpses after?” That wasn’t half as good as seeing a fight, but better than nothing. “If you want to.” At that Theo could muster a small smile.   
“You really are a strange girl.” He mustered her with a shaking head, although there was a lopsided grin on his face.   
“There are worse things than being strange.”, Theo answered, shrugging her shoulders in the process.   
“Fíli, Kíli, lead the way!”   
Before Fíli could say anything else, he was ordered away, and Theo watched as they all went into the darkness, leaving her alone. 

With a sigh she walked over to the fire and sat down next to it. She hated just sitting here, knowing the others were fighting trolls not far away. The worst part was that she could understand Fílis point of view. She would most likely be a distraction and they didn’t need that.   
Throwing another look aver to the forest she couldn’t help the turmoil in her stomach.   
From the stories they had told her, they knew very well how to fight. They wouldn’t just walk into a fight they wouldn’t be able to win, they knew better than that. They had to.  
Still, although Theo had been excited to see the fight, she couldn’t help but worry. What if one of them got injured? Thinking of the injuries she had seen while playing ice hockey, she didn’t really want to know what damage real swords could cause. And the trolls were really big. She had once broken a rip and cracked another because she was thrown against the rink, to think of what might happen when a troll hit you… 

Theo shuddered and wrapped her arms around her. Against the fire, the woods seemed even darker. She hated it, but there was nothing she could do but wait.   
And that’s what she did.   
She waited for literal hours, but they didn’t return.   
At some point Theo had abandoned the fire and started walking in circles through the camp, waiting for any sign of their return. She was certain something had gone wrong. Fíli should have come to get her by now. 

She stopped in silence, looking into the trees. This had taken way to long. Morning couldn’t be too far away and not a single soul had returned.   
The fight must have gone wrong.   
She had to do something. 

Without wasting another second, she marched away from the dying fire and into the woods. Theo was careful to be quiet as she walked to the troll camp. Their fire led her the way and it didn’t take her long to reach it. She hid behind the same tree as before and watched the scene in front of her.   
The trolls were still alive. But that wasn’t the worst.   
They had captured the dwarfs and tied at least half of them on a stick, which they were turning over the fire. The others weren’t far away, but they were tied up just the same.   
The only good thing Theo could register was that there were no bodies. At least none that she could see.   
How the fuck did they get in this mess? 

Half her brain was cursing them for being stupid enough be caught, the other was working like crazy to find an idea for this.   
To attack the trolls was out of the question.   
She had no weapon whatsoever, and even if she had, she knew she had no chance in a fight. If all of them had not managed to kill the trolls, she wouldn’t be able to cause any harm.   
But maybe she could free some of them. 

As quiet as she could she made her way around camp, trying to get closer to the tied-up dwarfs. She didn’t really have to worry about being too loud, the trolls made no attempt to be quiet and would cover any sound she made. However, she soon found it impossible to get anywhere near the dwarfs without being seen.   
Lying flat underneath a bush, Theo cursed them again. How was she supposed to help them?  
Maybe she could lead the trolls away and get back to free the others before the trolls came back.   
At least that was the only option she could see. 

Carefully she tried to crawl back into the bushes, when a twig snapped underneath her knee.   
Theo stopped immediately, holding in her breath.  
She waited for one of the trolls to stomp over and pick her up; but they didn’t come. When Theo looked up again, they were still around the fire, arguing about what way was the best to cook dwarfs. She exhaled slowly, before crawling back into the darkness. 

Without wasting any time, she hurried to put some distance between herself and the trolls. She would definitely need a head start.   
She gathered a few rocks, big enough to be thrown and cause damage, but not too big to carry. Theo then climbed a tree close enough to the troll camp to actually get a good view of the trolls. Her heart was beating wildly, scared of failing. This was a fucking stupid idea, she knew that. But it still was the only thing she could come up with.   
As she sat up on a branch she looked down to the ground. If she landed the wrong way this would be over very soon. Theo took a deep breath before looking to the trolls. She would just have to bullshit her way through this. 

She grabbed one of the rocks and threw it as hard as she could at the troll turning the spike over the fire. “Ow!”, it yelled out, rubbing his neck with a huge hand.   
“What’s the problem now?”, another asked annoyed. “Something hit me!”, the first troll complained before she threw another rock at his head. She grinned in success as it hit the troll right over his ear.   
“Ow!”, it screamed again, turning around to find the source of mischief. “There’s something out there!”  
“Shut up Bert! We caught them all, there’s nothing else out there.”   
This time Theo aimed at one of the others, missing slightly. “See, something is throwing rocks at us!”   
Theo only had three more rocks left, if they wouldn’t come soon, she would have to think of another plan. Her next rock hit the third of them against the shoulder. “Hey!”, it yelled loudly, getting up from his stool. Now they were all looking in her direction, but they hadn’t detected her yet.   
She sent a small prayer with the next rock and by miracle it hit one of them right in the face. “Ow! Go and get that damned thing!”, it cursed and Theo’s eyes widened. One troll remained at the fire, but the two others made their way towards her.   
“Fuck.”

With a wildly beating heart she jumped from the branch to the ground, groaning at the impact. “There it is!” Theo looked up to see one of the trolls pointing at her. In panic she scrambled on to her feet, taking off into the darkness. She ran as fast as she could but it was no use. Theo hadn’t expected them to come so close, but for every three steps she made they just had to take one.   
What a fucking stupid plan!  
Breathing hard she realized she wouldn’t be able to outrun them. Even if she got out of their reach, she would never make it back to the camp before them. She would never be able to free the others.   
Theo threw a look over her shoulder, nearly stumbling when she saw how close the trolls were. “Fuck.” She turned her head back forward, although it was too late to see the root that sent her stumbling for real. While Theo didn’t fall, it was enough for one of the trolls to catch up to her and grab her by the leg. 

Theo couldn’t scream, she just gasped for air as the troll lifted her high up in the air, right before his face. “Another dwarf.”, he spat. “How many more of you are out there?”  
Theo couldn’t answer, there simply wasn’t enough air in her lungs, and the little she had, was contaminated by the stink of the troll.   
“Answer me!” He shook her violently, making Theo nearly reach. “Fuck you!”, she finally told him, knowing she was fucked herself. “Let’s just eat this one now Tom, we have enough back at the camp.”, the second troll behind her said and Theo wanted to cry out, but she refused to give them that pleasure.   
“But I like them roasted.”, Tom complained, lowering his arm just a little, still holding on tightly.   
If she made it out of this alive, Theos leg would look like a rainbow.   
“Fine, but let’s hurry, I’m hungry.” 

They started stomping back through the trees and Theo was sure she would vomit any second. They could have at least knocked her out.   
So she had just thrown away her own chance of survival in attempt to help the others. Good job!   
All she could hope for now, was the possibility of finally waking up when they killed her. 

“We got another one!”, Tom yelled when they reached the campfire, lifting Theo up in the air for everyone to see. “Just the one?”  
“Yes, at least we couldn’t see anything else.” Tom lifted Theo right in front of his face, making her gag when his breath enveloped her. “Just as ugly as the others.”, he stated as he examined her.   
“You’re calling me ugly? Take a look in the mirror you freak.”, Theo spat back. She was fucked as it was, she at least wanted to go out fighting. Without thinking she hit the troll right into his huge eye, causing it to yell out in pain. It let go of her leg and Theo fell to the ground with a heavy thud.   
Theo groaned, holding her side in pain. The hand she had used to hit the troll was covered in white glibber, but she didn’t care.   
“Where is the bloody thing?”, the troll yelled out, and before Theo knew it, she was lifted in the air again. “I’m going to eat this one myself.”, he grunted, while pressing his free hand against his eye. Theo tried to get free of his grip, but it was no use. He had her leg gripped tightly, not letting go of her. She could hear the others yell, but it seemed far away when she dangled over the trolls’ mouth.   
This was it. 

She was going to be eaten by a fucking troll.   
A really fucking fantastic end to a fucking fantastic dream.   
This couldn’t be worse than the car. At least she hoped so.  
“Wait!” 

All Theo could do was look at the ugly trolls’ teeth. Maybe he would just bite of her head, that should be a quick death, right?   
“If you want to eat the dwarfs, you should do it the right way.” Oh boy, Theo didn’t really want to know what the right way to be eaten was.   
“Go on.”, one of the other trolls encouraged Bilbo to keep talking.   
“Well, uhm…” He trailed off for a moment, before he found his voice again. “You… you have to skin them first!” 

“What?” The others were just as upset as Theo at Bilbos words.   
“Bert, bring me my filleting knife.”, the troll by the fire said, holding out his hand towards the third troll.   
“Nonsense! I have eaten plenty of dwarfs and I never skinned them.” The troll holding on to Theo disagreed, and for a moment Theo was glad this one had grabbed her. Although that moment was gone quickly when he opened his mouth again and let her dangle above it.   
“Stop! You can’t eat that one!” Theo was close enough to see a bone sticking between the trolls’ teeth. “That one’s infected!” Suddenly she was ripped up, away from the trolls’ mouth, but she still couldn’t breathe. 

“What do you mean infected?”, Tom asked, shaking her up and down. Theo could feel herself getting sick.   
“This one has worms.”, Bilbo stated, impossibly calm as he did so.  
“What?” Theo whipped her head around, trying to see Bilbo, but she couldn’t.   
“Worms?” Tom groaned in disgust and dropped her to the ground again. Theos side screamed out in pain again, but she didn’t waste any time to scramble away from the trolls.   
“Yes, yes, they all are infected with worms.”, Bilbo continued, gesturing to the dwarfs as well as he could, stuck in his bag. “You can’t eat them, or you’ll catch the worms as well.”   
“I don’t believe him; we should just eat them all and be done with it.” The biggest troll, who seemed to be sort of their leader, didn’t buy Bilbos story. “No, I don’t want to catch worms!”, Bert argued with the other troll. 

Theo tried to inch away undetected, closer to the others, scared to catch the trolls’ attention again.   
“He is making this up, don’t you see it?” Their leader grew angrier by the minute, they had to find a way out of this mess, and they had to do so quickly.   
“But what if it’s true? They stink, they may very well have worms.”, Tom agreed with the other troll.   
Hopefully Bilbo had a larger plan than just telling them that they had worms, Theo was in no delusion that this argument wouldn’t take forever. She threw a look to the others, who were still yelling about who had the biggest worms. How the fuck could she free any of them unnoticed?  
Her eyes caught Bilbos, asking him silently for his plan, but he just shrugged his shoulders helplessly. So he was just bullshitting his way through this as well. Great.   
“I don’t care, we’re going to eat them and we’re going to do so now!” 

Theo whipped her head around, scrambling even further from the trolls, but she found herself caught against a fence.   
“The sun shall get you!”  
Suddenly Gandalf appeared on the stone ledge above them, his big staff in his hands. He forcefully hit it against the rock he was standing on, splitting it in half.   
Blinding sunlight filled the clearing and the trolls yelled out in pain. 

With a wide opened mouth Theo watched as they slowly turned into stone until they didn’t move anymore.   
“Fuck.”, she whispered, not able to turn her head away from it. One moment they had been breathing and now they were just stone. Theo got up on her shaking legs and walked over to them, kicking against one of the trolls’ legs. Stone. 

“Can we get a little help here, lass?” At Dwalins shout Theo turned to the dwarfs who were tied to the spike. “Sure.” Not that she did know how to get them down from there. But maybe she could at least extinguish the fire underneath them.   
They were lucky. The trolls had left a huge bucket of water right next to the fire, which Theo managed to push over into the fire, putting out the flames.   
Afterwards she stumbled over to the others to untie them. 

Bilbo was the first, as he was standing closest to her. “Thanks for the worms.”, she told him while loosening the crude knot around his neck. “It was the first thing I could think of.”, Bilbo explained with a relieved smile. “No judging from my side, it worked well enough.”   
Once she had freed Bilbo, they walked to the others, releasing them from their bags.   
“So your weapon of choice against trolls is a stone?”, Kíli asked Theo with a grin, as she loosened his knot. “Well I fared no worse that you did, and you had a sword.” She flicked a finger against his forehead. “How did you even manage to get captured?”, she asked curiously, before moving on to untie Oin. “They caught Bilbo and threatened to pull off his limbs.”, Kíli explained while climbing out of the bag. “If it weren’t for that, we would have killed them easily.”   
“Sure, I’ll take your word for it.” It didn’t take them long to untie everyone on the ground and together they managed to free the others on the spike.   
Those unfortunate enough to have been up there, were sure to complain loudly about it. Theo was impressed by all the curses she learned, although quite a few of them were in Khuzdul, so she had no idea what they meant. 

It was when Theo tried to wipe the white slime from her hand on a dirty rag, that Fíli and Kíli found her again. “I told you to stay back in camp, why did you come here?”, Fíli asked her, his anger obvious. “In my defence, I waited for hours for your return, but you didn’t.”, she defended herself, not really feeling sorry for what she had done.   
“So you just decided to let yourself get caught as well?” Fíli clearly wasn’t happy about what she had done, although at least Kíli didn’t seem to mind. “I admit that my plan didn’t really work out, but I had to do something.” She looked at them with raised eyebrows. “Or should I have just watched you being turned into dinner?” 

“What exactly was your plan?”, Kíli inquired curiously.   
“Well best-case scenario would have been to lead the trolls away, double back and untie you before they returned.”, Theo explained while shrugging her shoulders. “I have to admit I underestimated their long legs.”   
Kíli grinned widely. “And I have to admit I like how you punched the troll in the eye.” Theo laughed at that. “That’s what you get for calling me ugly.” “Good to know. I’ll keep my mouth shut then.” Kíli laughed when she kicked him against the shin and moved on to inspect the trolls, leaving Theo and Fíli behind.   
For a moment they looked at each other in uncomfortable silence. 

“Are we good?”, Theo asked him, cursing her heart for jumping up and down. Fíli let out a sigh at her question. “Of course we are. I just wish you wouldn’t have put yourself in danger like that.” He scratched the back of his head.   
Theo smiled in relief. “I’m sorry, I only tried to help.” This seemed to calm down Fíli a little, he even managed to crack a small smile himself.   
“I know that, just try to keep yourself out of trouble the next time, okay?”, he asked her and Theo nodded. “I’ll try.”  
“Hey you morons, you should come up here, the view is great!” At Kílis shout Theo and Fíli looked up. They burst out laughing when they found Kíli sitting on top of a troll head. “What are you doing up there?”, Fíli questioned his little brother.   
“Enjoying the view.” Kíli wiggled his eyebrows and Theo could feel the blood rise to her cheeks. What a prick.   
“It’s very interesting what you can see from up here, there even are turtle doves.”, he continued, mortifying Theo in the process. 

“Do you still have one of the rocks?” With her hot cheeks she looked at Fíli. “Why?” Not waiting for an answer, she reached into her pocket for the last rock and held it out to him. Without explaining himself he took it out of her hand and hurled it at his brother.   
“Ow!” Theo couldn’t stop herself from laughing when Kíli rubbed his arm and cursed.   
“Thank you, Theo.” Fíli grinned at her before walking away to the others, leaving her equally confused and amazed.


	8. The Chase

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so in my version there is meat in Rivendell, because if I remember correctly in the book the elves weren't vegetarians.   
> Also I think that the company does deserve happiness with everything that is coming their way :)

To be eighteen again and able to off pull all-nighters without a problem.   
That would be nice.

Honestly, there was nothing like an all-nighter to tell you that you were growing old.   
The sum Theo would pay to sleep in her bed right now, grew bigger by the minute. 

But no, she had to make the best of a tree and the hard forest floor. If only it wouldn’t smell so bad and everybody would shut up for a while.   
At least she wasn’t hungover, that would probably be her death.   
If Thorin could make up his mind about staying another night or not, that would be great. But no, he didn’t say anything at all and now she had to try and get whatever rest she could possibly get before he made them move. 

She didn’t understand what they were looking for in that troll cave anyways, it reeked to the sky. And that was out here, she had stepped one foot inside and ran as fast as she could.   
There could be treasures untold in there and she wouldn’t care. 

“There is something coming!” At Dwalins shout Theo opened her eyes, just in time to see huge rabbits jump out of the thicket, pulling a sled with an old man on it behind them.   
Was she dreaming?  
“Radagast!” Gandalf greeted the old man, hurrying between the dwarfs and the stranger, obviously quite aware of the weapons that were pointed in the stranger’s direction.   
“It’s been a while, what brings you here?”, the old wizard asked and was immediately pulled to the side by the other man.   
Since the stranger held no apparent threat to them, the dwarfs lowered their weapons, although they kept throwing interested looks in his direction. Theo also couldn’t help herself, fascinated by the bird shit in his hair.   
She was quite aware that she looked like a mess herself and probably reeked like the trolls, but how could someone ignore that amount of bird shit? He didn’t seem bothered by it at all. 

When Gandalf obscured her view, she shifted her attention to the rabbits. They were about five times the size of a normal rabbit. Even if everything in this world was fucking big and she was considered a dwarf, they still were out of size.   
Sleep was out of the question, so she scrambled onto her legs and made her way towards them. They weren’t bothered by her at all and she took her chance to pet one of them. Their fur was smooth, although not very soft. The rabbit enjoyed the attention and quickly nuzzled its head against her hand.   
It was calming to stroke the fur, just what Theo needed. 

Although she would have preferred to doze on the couch with her cat on her lap. 

Theo couldn’t prevent another yawn. She was so fucking tired and it was only around midday. She continued to pet the rabbit and threw a look around. Some of the dwarfs must still be inside the cave, the others stood around the clearing, including Thorin. He seemed to be making plans with Balin and Dwalin, while Fíli and Kíli stood close by , probably to overhear what was going to happen.   
Why couldn’t he just decide to stay here for the day, they had been traveling every day for weeks. Would it really matter if they arrived a day late in the iron hills? If it was a journey so far, they would have to take a break at some point. 

“Watch out!”

Theo whipped her head around, seeing a gigantic… wolf… leaping into the clearing, only to be cut down by the dwarfs immediately. It let out a strangled last howl, before it was silenced for good. She couldn’t help but stay still and watch the huge body, blood seeping over its fur.   
“A warg scout. There will be more out there.”, Thorin said, right before multiple howls sounded off in the distance. “We have to leave now.”  
Okay, that was a decision Theo could get behind. 

“The ponies have bolted!”, Ori shouted through the trees and Theo could feel her heart drop into her stomach. They were fucked.   
While everybody else reached for their weapons again, Theo kept studying the warg or whatever it was. It’s paws alone were as big as her head. Even if she had a weapon, a thing like that would rip her to shreds. Maybe a pump gun might be of use, but it wasn’t like she had one.   
“I can lead them astray! Give you a chance to get away.”, the stranger suddenly said and they all turned their heads at him. “Are you mad, there is an orc pack out there!”, Gandalf argued with him. “The wargs will catch you at once!”  
“These a Rhosgobel rabbits, I’d like to see them try.”

The mad man didn’t take no for an answer and before anybody could stop him, he stepped onto his sled and disappeared in the thicket. The dwarfs didn’t spare him much of a thought, they just hurried to grab what they could in the short time they had. Theo did the same, and threw whatever bags she was given by Bofur over her shoulder. The howl of the wargs still echoed in the distance, setting everyone on edge. 

“Let’s go!”  
At Thorins command everyone got moving. They ran as fast as they could in the opposite direction of where Radagast had gone. Although the forest floor made it difficult for them to run, it at least offered them some sort of cover.   
But as soon as they reached the edge of the trees and the plains opened up before them, they stopped. Now they could see the wargs and orcs that chased Radagast in the distance and there wasn’t much that offered them protection against being spotted. 

“Come, we can’t stay here!”, Thorin told them in a hushed tone and led the way into the open. Without any complains they followed him, hurrying towards what might be death. But staying here was certain death for sure, anybody of them would make the same choice.   
Theos heart was beating wildly in her chest as her feet carried her further. The bags she carried hit against her back with every move she made and she was very glad not to have any heavy weapons on herself. At least for now. She figured she would change her mind when the wargs caught up to them. When… Theo didn’t doubt they would at some point.   
But for now she chose to ignore that, focusing on getting a head start. 

At least all that running her trainer always made her do payed off now. She had no trouble to keep up, if anything she had to watch out not to leave the others behind. 

They hurried until they reached cover behind a large rock. Breathing hard, they halted to see where the wargs were. For every time their howls and shouts grew more distant, they came back even closer than before. 

It was only a moment of rest before Thorin made them run again.   
Further and further they made their way over the plains.   
Not even the sun was on their side it seemed, burning down merciless on their backs.

Theo had no idea how long it had been, until they took shelter behind another rock. The wargs were closer than ever. Theos back was pressed against the rock, squeezed right between Bifur and Dori. When the snarl of a warg sounded off right above then, Theo inhaled deeply. This was it. This was the moment she wished she had a weapon. 

There was no way it wouldn’t smell their trail, they all reeked to the sky.

Like the others she looked over to Thorin, who had a silent conversation with Kíli. The later held his bow in his hands, an arrow ready to shoot. He nodded before he made a step forwards and turned around at once. Right in the moment the warg snarled loudly, Kíli let the arrow loose. 

The warg howled loudly, before it keeled over and feel down with a heavy thud. Immediately the others where on it and the orc that sat on top of it, burying axes and swords in their flesh. They made quick process with both, although they couldn’t do so without a bloodcurdling scream of the orc. 

For a moment they all stood in silence, waiting for a sign if the others had heard the commotion.   
Then a shout of an orc sent the others running. Without hesitation Theo followed them, all thoughts on staying hidden forgotten. She didn’t dare to look back, knowing she wouldn’t want to see the orcs on their tail. So she ran as fast as she could. At least for a while, but when she saw Oin stumbling she didn’t think before slowing down to grab his arm and drag him along.   
He let her do so without protest, however he probably just didn’t have the breath to do so. 

They ran for their lives, until everybody came to a sudden stop. With her heart beating in her throat, Theo looked at the Orcs appearing on the horizon. No matter where she turned her head, she could see them. 

They were circled in. 

Yes, it would be nice to have a pump gun now.   
The others readied their weapons, but she stood there helplessly. Maybe she could try to outrun them, while the others fought.   
For a moment she locked eyes with Fíli, his eyes determined and fierce, before he looked back towards the threat. Maybe he would make it out of this alive. For his sake and that of Kíli and Thorin, Theo hoped so. At least if she was killed no one would bat an eye about it. 

“This way you fools!”   
At Gandalfs shout everybody looked at him. He was standing near some rocks about forty meters away. Theo didn’t spare a second thought before she bolted in his direction, dragging Oin with her. They were still a good distance away when she saw Bofur and Bifur disappear between the rocks, followed by Bilbo. Gandalf must have found some sort of hide out.   
Out of the corner of her eyes she saw the wargs running after them and Theo pushed her legs even harder. 

More and more of the others slipped into the secret spot next to Gandalf, safety within reach for Theo and Oin as well. He might get a bruise from the death grip she had on his arm, but she didn’t care at this moment. All she cared for was closing the last distance between themselves and the rock.   
They were close enough now to see the dark crevice in between the rocks. Nori was right in front of them and he all but leaped into the darkness. Seeing this gave Theo another boost of adrenaline and she pulled Oin the last meters along, until they were finally able to slip into the hide out as well.   
They slid down along the hard surface of the rock until the ground finally evened. The others pulled them right out of the way and while they caught their breath, they watched as the rest of their company came down. 

The seconds stretched endlessly each time before someone came down, and it only grew worse the fewer were out there in the open. When Fíli came down, Theo felt a massive wave of relief wash over her. It was only Thorin and Kíli out there now.   
She could hear Thorin call out Kílis name and watched how Fíli almost climbed back up again at that. If Dwalin didn’t hold him back, he definitely would have done so. 

Only when Kíli and Thorin finally appeared, the whole company let out a collective breath.   
The danger might not have been gone, but at least they were together again. 

All attention was on the small patch of the sky above them, waiting for an orc or warg to appear. They still howled loudly, but suddenly a horn sounded off as well. It sounded different than those that the orcs had used before and the others shared a suspicious look.   
When an orc fell down into the cave, those in the front raised their weapons, only to find that it was already dead. With what was certainly a curse, Thorin ripped a long arrow out of its neck. “Elves.”, he spat out, making the other dwarfs look around uneasy. Only Gandalf and Bilbo seemed relieved. 

With the orcs apparently dealt with, there was finally time for the company to look after each other. It seemed that out of sheer luck none of them had gotten hurt. Exhausted from their flight, but not hurt. Theo stood a little bit aside, leaning against the cave wall while the brothers and friends made sure the others were okay.   
With the adrenaline leaving her system she could feel how tired her legs were. But tired meant alive. She would take that. 

“There is a tunnel, shall we follow it?”

At Bofurs shout they all turned towards him. “Of course we shall!”, Dwalin was the first to answer and one after one they went into the tunnel. Theo was just about to follow them as well, when she was held back. She turned around and was surprised to find Fílis hand on her arm. “Are you okay?”, he asked her, his eyes tired and full of worry.   
“Tired enough to sleep for a week and hungry enough to eat a bear, but okay.” Theo couldn’t help the tired smile that spread over her lips. “Are you?” For a moment she could have sworn relief washed over his face, but she must have been mistaken. “Yes.” Fíli nodded with a smile that could only be called tired as well, causing Theos smile to grow. 

He didn’t say anything else, he only gestured for her to follow the tunnel in front of him. Which she did. It was narrow and at some points they had to squeeze through it with all the bags they carried.   
However, when they finally reached the end of it, a valley opened up in front of them.   
This was what Theo had imagined heaven to look like. This was a palace right out of a fairy tale, surrounded by gardens. A river ran through the valley and she was able to hear the birds singing, even from up where she stood. 

It was incredible. 

After being captured by trolls and chased by wargs, Theo didn’t expect to end up in a place like this. The dwarfs kept complaining about elves when they took the small path alongside the cliff towards the palace, but she didn’t listen.   
They would have food down there. And maybe even beds. Well she’d sleep on the floor, but they might be lucky. Maybe she could even take a bath. The hell, she would just jump into that river.   
Just the thought of being able to eat something other than stew gave Theo another boost of strength. She didn’t understand why the dwarfs were so grumpy. At this point she would happily let the other mother sow buttons on her eyes if she could get some food into her stomach.   
The elves could hardly be that bad. 

It was a long way down, but they made it eventually.   
The palace was even more beautiful up close. Beautiful and gigantic. 

For the first time Theo really felt like a dwarf.   
Up until now she had always thought that it was just Gandalf who was freakishly tall, but it turned out it really was them who were small. 

Gandalf led their company over a bridge towards some sort of balcony. There stood a man, seemingly expecting them. Judging by the pointy ears he was an elf. To her he looked friendly enough, she really didn’t understand why the others looked so pissed.   
“Mithrandir! It’s been a long time.”, the man greeted Gandalf.   
“Lindir! It is very good to see you. Please tell me, where is the master of your house.”   
They seemed to know each other, even if the elf called Gandalf Mithrandir or whatever. 

Instead of answering, Lindir looked past them, right as a horn sounded off behind them. It was the same horn they had heard from the cave. It was followed by the trample of hooves and a moment later Theo was pushed back into a circle. She watched with wide eyes as they were circled by elves, seated on huge horses.   
They wore armour and long bows, swords tied to their belts.   
“Mithrandir!”  
“Lord Elrond!”   
Theo could hear Gandalf talk to another one of the elves, but she didn’t dare take her eyes of the riders that were still circling them. Why couldn’t they stop? It’s not like they were any threat to them. She might just be able to understand the others dislike towards the elves.   
If they really wanted them to leave, they should just say so and get this over with.   
Gandalf and this other guy, El… something… were talking, although Theo didn’t follow it completely. Apparently, he knew Thorin, or at least of Thorin.   
“I wondered what drew the orcs so close to our border. It seems I just found out who it was.”

“They came after us.” Oh boy, Theo knew that tone, Thorin was pissed. And she couldn’t really blame him for it, they hadn’t asked to be chased after.   
Gandalf seemed to recognize it as well, he tried to mediate between the men. “It is unfortunate to meet under these circumstances, however there are a few things we would like to talk to you about.”  
Right. With everything that had happened over the last twenty-four hours, Theo had forgotten about her other problem. The problem that Gandalf had thought these people might be able to help with.   
Now they had her full attention, curious for what Gandalf would say next.   
“And what might that be?”, the elf asked him, his interest obvious. Gandalf threw a quick peek over his shoulder at her, before turning his face back to El-something. “I think it might be best to talk about that in private. Although I’m sure you will be quite interested.”  
“Very well then. Let’s go out on the terrace, I will have something to eat prepared for our guests.”

Food. 

All of Theos thoughts shifted onto that one thing. 

Food.

She didn’t care about the weird conversations they were going to have; she didn’t care about her sticky hand that still had a little bit of eye glibber on it, she didn’t care about reeking to the sky, she didn’t care about her eyes which she couldn’t keep all the way open.   
Only food. 

And it seemed she wasn’t the only one. While there were still many mistrusting looks between the elves and the dwarfs, the whole companies’ spirit was lifted at the prospect of something to eat.   
When they were guided down the halls towards the terrace, many of the elves they encountered crinkled their noses. It seemed they didn’t host a group of smelly dwarfs very often. But Theo had to hand it to them, nobody uttered a single complaint, they only looked like they had stepped in crap.   
They ushered them on a really beautiful terrace, it looked like it belonged to some Disney castle. The elves had even set up two smaller tables and benches for them and were already plating up. They were pretty efficient around here. 

The company was practically launching themselves at the tables, Theo and Bilbo included. 

Gandalf and Thorin were placed at the higher table near the railing, and pretended to have some sort of manners, but the rest of them just stuffed themselves with anything they could get their hands on.   
Wedged in between Gloin and Nori, Theo slung down a huge piece of steak, only stopping to get some roasted potatoes behind her teeth. She didn’t waste any time on talking, but neither did the others. The food was so fucking good. How did she even manage to survive on stew for the last month?   
Theo took a small break from eating to wash it down with some of the wine the elves had served them. It was strong stuff. She could feel it rise to her head almost immediately. Not that she complained.   
“You have to try these, they are incredible.” Theo looked up to find Kíli hold out something like a hot dog to her and she took it right away to taste. Holy shit! Whatever it was, it was better than any hot dog she had ever had.   
She couldn’t hold in a moan as she devoured it. “Damn, give me another one.”, she asked Kíli and he obliged at once, holding out a whole plate towards her. She took two, eating them without even setting them down on her own plate. 

Soon they were all giving each other things to try, making a huge mess in the process.   
Only when her belly was finally filled, Theo noticed how light headed she felt. The wine definitely didn’t leave her unbothered. However, she welcomed it. It was nice to just forget about everything that had happened. 

She certainly wasn’t the only one who thought so. They were all more or less drunk within the course of an hour. Nori pulled Theo into a drinking game, where they had to finish their glasses each time Bombur slung down something in a single bite. Which happened quite often, so very soon the two of them were leaning against each other, not able to say a coherent sentence.   
They could have been drinking for hours as far as Theo knew, the others were singing songs she didn’t know, food was thrown through the air and every elf Theo saw, looked annoyed. 

“We have prepared your bedrooms and drawn baths, if you’d be so kind to follow us.”  
Theo whipped up her head at that. An elf stood behind their table and tried to break up their party. “Baths? Like real actual baths with soap?”, she asked the elf like some sort of idiot. “Of course my lady, we thought you might want to clean yourselves before you retire for the night.”, he answered, trying to politely tell her that she stank.   
“Fuck yes, sign me up.” Theo didn’t care, what the elves thought, she would give a finger for a hot bath. She nearly fell flat on her face when she tried to climb over the bench, causing the whole table to laugh. “Can you even walk that far?”, Fíli asked her, fighting for air. 

“I’d crawl through a pile of troll shit if it meant I could bath afterwards.”, she retorted, making them laugh even louder. “You already look like you did, lass.”, Dwalin teased her and she laughed loudly with them. “That’s why I want to take a nice hot bath, so I can finally have beautiful peachy skin again.” 

They teased her even further, but she ignored them and followed the elf to the promise of a hot bath. Well, it was more like a stumble, Fíli had been right about that.   
At last the elf opened a door and let her into a bedroom that looked like it belonged to a princess. “This is where you can rest. There is a small bathroom through that door. If you want, we can… wash those clothes of yours.”, he offered and Theo was quick to accept that offer. 

“You would? That is so nice of you, I…” Suddenly Theo realized that she only had the one outfit she wore. “I would need them back in the morning if that’s alright? I don’t have anything else.”, she admitted, causing the elf to widen his eyes in disbelief. “Oh, of course. Just leave them in front of the door.”  
He left her without another word, but Theo couldn’t care less. She opened the bathroom door and just barely muffled a scream of joy. There really was a steaming hot bathtub waiting for her. Without wasting another moment, she stripped herself of all her dirty and sticky clothes. She emptied the pockets of her coat and jeans carelessly onto the ground, before she picked up everything but her boots and moved back to the bedroom door.   
She carefully opened the door a small crack to see if anybody was out in the hall. When she couldn’t see anyone, she opened it further and dropped the bundle of her clothes on the ground. 

Now she could finally get cleaned up. With a bounce in her step she returned to the bathroom and all but jumped into the tub. The water was nearly too hot, but she didn’t mind. With a moan she dipped her head backwards into the water and pulled out the messy braid she wore.   
This was fucking amazing. That the tub was bigger than any she had ever seen, made it only better. For a few minutes she just soaked, feeling her muscles relax, but then she noticed the small table with many different bottles on it.   
Theo leaned over the side of the bathtub and started to open them by chance, smelling and shaking them as well. She couldn’t tell for sure what they contained, but she figured she couldn’t cause much damage, so she poured some pink substance into her hand and started to spread it in her hair. It smelled really good, so that was some improvement already and it distinctly felt like shampoo, so maybe she had been lucky enough to use the right stuff.  
The next thing she did was scrub her skin with some white milky substance and a sponge until it was pink. She had really tried to keep herself somewhat clean over the last few weeks, but after finishing to wash herself, she realized just how dirty she really had been.   
Satisfied with the result she had gotten; Theo pulled the plug and watched the dirty water disappear through the drain. Looking up she found a small silver chain dangling form some sort of pipe. She pulled it in good faith and a hot stream of water cascaded over her head.  
“Oh my god.” Theo closed her eyes in pleasure.   
This was seriously so fucking amazing. 

Theo had to force herself to finally let go of the chain, she could have stood there forever.   
Instead she wrapped herself in a huge towel and wringed out her hair. With a hairbrush in her hand she left the bathroom and walked towards the small balcony. The warm night air felt nice on her bare shoulders, and so she leaned against the railing watching the quiet gardens below. She really could get used to that place.   
“Leave something for me!” A shout disturbed the peaceful atmosphere, and Theo knew exactly who was to blame. “Don’t worry, I got another bottle.”   
Theo leaned over the railing, trying to locate the troublemakers. She couldn’t spot them in the garden below, but they had to be close.   
A movement to her left made her turn her head. There they were. Fíli stood on a balcony two rooms to her left. His hair was dripping wet, he must have taken a bath as well. When Theo saw him lift a bottle of wine to his lips, she grinned. Someone would have a headache in the morning. 

Staying silently where she was, she watched him with her heart beating wildly. Even drunk, with a mop of wet hair, he still was the most perfect being she had ever laid her eyes on. Theo couldn’t help herself but stare yearningly at him until he disappeared back in the room. If only this was a Disney movie and she was a princess, then she could ride off into the sunset with him.   
Slowly she started to brush out her hair. Whatever stuff was in that shampoo it had worked magic, although she still had to work hard to pull out the knots in her hair. It made her curse repeatedly, but at some point, she was actually able to be satisfied with her result. She would never be a Disney princess with her messy birdsnest. 

All the time she was thinking of Fìli and his beautiful blonde hair. It must feel so nice to run your fingers through whose waves.   
Still wrapped up in the huge towel she climbed onto the massive bed in the room, moaning when her head hit the fluffy pillow. She could swear she had never been so comfortable before.   
Theo didn’t even think about pulling up the blanket, she simply closed her eyes and drifted off into a deep slumber.


	9. Rivendell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I added Arwen to this chapter, because she is such a lovely character and an actual angel :)
> 
> Kìli is a little shit, but let's be honest we all love him for that particular reason :D

She had died. 

She had finally died and now she was floating on a cloud. 

Theo stretched her limbs without opening her eyes, moaning at the creaking of her joints. Never in her life had she felt this well rested.   
With another content sigh she opened her eyes, looking up at the blue canopy above her bed.   
She was lying in an actual bed. 

This was even better than a cloud. 

She sat up one motion, stretching her arms above her head, smiling widely.   
This was awesome.   
For once she couldn’t decide whether she wanted to go back to sleep or get up. Maybe she could get some breakfast and then go back to sleep. That sounded like a great option. 

Theo swung her legs over the side of the bed and hopped down. She felt like Alice in wonderland with how big everything was. She made a step towards the small bathroom, but her feet got caught in the towel that had slipped down over night and she feel straight to the ground. 

She laughed as she rolled on her back and kicked the towel away. They better had brought her clothes back, or she would have to run around half naked all day long. With bare feet she tapped over to the door and opened it carefully, looking if anybody was outside.   
The hallway was empty; however, Theo spotted her clothes clean and folded on the ground next to the door.   
This was like a five-star hotel.   
She picked up her clothes and returned inside to get changed. Theo had no idea how the elves had done it, but they were spotless. And they smelled good.   
How long had it been since she had actually smelled good? Not just sort of not bad, but actually good? She had barely even remembered how good it felt. 

She hurried to make herself somewhat presentable, and compared to what she had looked like last night she didn’t have to work hard. Leaving her hair open for once, she stepped outside and tried to find her way back to where they had eaten the day before. 

Maybe she should have paid attention when the elf had led her here. Or maybe she shouldn’t have been drinking so much. 

It must have been at least ten minutes of wandering around, when Theo ran into Bilbo by accident. She was glad to see a familiar face, and Bilbo seemed just as relieved. “Theodora! Do you have any idea where we can get some breakfast?”, he asked her, patting his stomach unconsciously. “No, I was hoping you would know.”   
“Well the kitchen has to be somewhere. Let’s find it together.” 

Bilbo led the way on their journey, clearly in a great mood. “Have you ever seen a place this magical?”, he asked Theo on their search and she had to shook her head. “No, this is just like a fairy tale.” “I hope we’ll stay here for a while; my back hasn’t felt this good in weeks.” Theo laughed at Bilbo’s words. “Tell me about it.”

They walked for a few more minutes, before they ran into an elf. A really incredibly beautiful elf.   
“Mister Baggins, Miss Theodora. I see you have found the time to rest and clean yourself.”, she greeted them with a small bow. Bilbo and Theo bowed as well, but while Bilbos head went red, Theo chuckled. The elves must be glad they didn’t stink that badly anymore. 

“It was a very restful night, we have to thank you for your hospitality.”, Bilbo thanked her and bowed again. “I must apologize, I don’t recall your name.” “My name is Arwen, Mister Baggins. May I be of any assistance to you?”  
“Is there any chance you can direct us to the kitchen, so we can have some breakfast?” Bilbo didn’t waste any time to get down to business, but the elf didn’t mind. She laughed lightly before she nodded.  
“Of course I can. Follow me please.”   
As Arwen took them to get breakfast, she made small talk with Bilbo. The elves clearly preferred the company of hobbits over dwarfs, but Theo didn’t mind. As long as she got something to eat, she wouldn’t complain. And with the exception of their arrival, the elves hadn’t been anything but nice to her. 

It turned out that Arwen didn’t take them to the kitchen, but some sort of dining hall instead. There were multiple large tables, all loaden with a huge array of food. A few elves were present, although no other members of their company. Arwen led them to a smaller table near a large window that overlooked a garden and sat down with them.   
She watched Bilbo and Theo in silence, as they started to stuff their faces just like the night before. There was just everything you could wish for. Cooked eggs, bacon, the softest bread imaginable, croissants, cakes, just anything really. 

Especially Bilbo slung down everything he could get his fingers on. While Theo had calmed down after a while and was content to drink some tea, he kept on eating like there was no tomorrow.   
“Do you always eat that much?”, she asked him, and he needed a moment before he could answer, since his mouth was full. “I don’t understand what you mean, I didn’t even have second breakfast yet.” He wouldn’t let her question stop him from spreading jam onto a thick slice of bread.   
“I’m not judging, I just think it’s amazing how much you can eat.” She took a bite of her own slice of bread. “Where do you put it all? If I’d eat as much, I’d roll around anywhere I want to go.” She had never tasted honey that was so sweet. Seriously, everything here was so fucking delicious.  
“I still don’t know what you’re talking about. Just because we were starved for the last few weeks, doesn’t mean I can’t eat now.” Bilbo shrugged his shoulders and drank from his cup of tea. “Well I can’t argue with that.”, Theo admitted. Better eat while you can, you never knew when the next meal would come around.

“I am glad to see you enjoy staying in Rivendell.”, Arwen finally said, having just watched them until that moment. “It’s amazing.”, Theo admitted right away. “Thank you so much for allowing us to stay.” Arwens face lightened up at her words, and Bilbo nodded wildly. “I must agree, we haven’t received such hospitality since we’ve started this journey.”   
“This is very pleasing to hear.”

Theo watched her as she sipped from her cup of tea. All the elves she had seen were beautiful, but Arwen possessed an incredible softness and kindness that surpassed what she had seen so far. “Do you know how long you’ll be staying with us?”, Arwen asked, causing Bilbo and Theo to share an unknowing look. “No, there was no chance to talk about that yet.”, Bilbo explained after a moment. Arwen only nodded, her smile not slipping once. “I hope you will stay long enough to rest for your journey ahead.”   
She raised from her seat, not a single wrinkle in her light blue gown. “I have to apologize myself, but I have some other business to attend to.” She sent Bilbo and Theo another warm smile before she left, nearly gliding over the floor as she did so. 

Theo looked after her for a moment, then she turned towards Bilbo. “Have you seen anybody else yet?” Bilbo shook his head, his mouth full again. It was some sort of croissant now.  
“No, but to be honest I was only looking for breakfast.”   
“Well they’ve got to be somewhere. Unless they decided to skip us and left.” Bilbo grinned at her joke. “Wouldn’t that be a pity. Imagine being stuck here.”, he answered, clearly not minding that option at all. “Having to eat all this incredible food, sleeping in an actual bed and being able to bath whenever you desire to.” Bilbo really wouldn’t mind it at all.   
“You’re right, that sounds just horrible.”, Theo agreed, before she stood up. “I’m going to find out if we’re lucky or not. If they’re still here, they should not be hard to find.”   
She grabbed another croissant, not because she was hungry, but because they were better than any she ever had. “Do that, but don’t come and get me unless they really left us. I’d like to imagine that possibility for a bit longer.” 

Theo nodded as she left, without a clue where to go. But how hard could they be to find? If she just followed her ears, she’d be sure to run into Kìli. 

About twenty minutes later she found herself to be right. She was walking down a small path, surrounded by beautiful gardens, towards some sort of courtyard. Kìlis shouting was unmistakable. Theo couldn’t help but grin as a few of the dwarfs came into view. 

Fíli and Dwalin were sparing.   
Even from far away Theo could tell how skilled they both were, not once they stumbled, not once they missed a hit. It was a joy to watch them. 

She clearly wasn’t the only one who thought so.   
Kìli, Ori and Bifur were seated in the grass, watching the match in front of them, while yelling at them what to do. 

“Who’s winning?”, she asked them when she let herself fall in the grass beside Ori, crossing her legs underneath her. “It could go either way, this will go on forever.”, Ori told her, scratching his beard.   
“Care to place a bet?” Kìli looked at her with a wide grin.   
“You know I don’t have anything to bet with.”  
“Well I’m sure we could agree on something.” His mischievous smirk made Theo shake her head. “I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but even I know when not to do something.”   
“Oh come, it’s just one harmless bet.”, he tried to convince her. For a moment Theo nearly agreed, but then she shook her head again. “No, I know you’re up to something. And I’m not sure it’s something I will enjoy.” 

She leaned back against her arms, focusing on Fíli and Dwalin again. This was so much better than any movie she had ever seen. Sure, she had seen many incredible fights on TV, but they had all been choregraphed while this was an actual fight. And she had a front row seat.   
She had known they were strong, but holy shit, seeing Fíli deflect a hit of Dwalins sword that could have taken someone’s head right off, was something else. And to think she had thought the fights on Vikings had been great… well they had been great, but this was fucking amazing.   
While the others chatted and shouted at the fighters, Theo simply couldn’t tear her eyes away. She could watch this for hours. The only thing better she could imagine was…

“Can you teach me?”

She turned her head towards Ori, Kìli and Bifur, who looked at her confused. “Teach you what?”, Ori asked, apparently not able to make the connection. “To fight.” She dipped her head in the direction of the others. Bifur rambled of something in Khuzdul Theo couldn’t even begin to understand the meaning of, but Kìlis face lightened up. “You want to learn how to swordfight?”, he wanted her to confirm and Theo nodded. “Yeah, it would be awesome.”  
“You are the luckiest girl in the world, I’m an amazing teacher.” Kìli jumped on the idea at once, probably excited to get the chance to show off. He grabbed the sword that lay next to him and got onto his legs. “Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you.” He said something to Bifur in Khuzdul until he got his sword as well. 

Theo snorted at his words and follow him into the courtyard. “You’re right I’m so lucky.” When he turned around to her she looked at him expectantly. “So what do I do?” “Well first you have to find a secure stand.” He widened his stand slightly, and Theo copied his stance. “Good enough, now what do you know about swords anyways?” He held out Bifurs sword to her with the handle first. “Nothing?”  
She reached for it; the weight not unexpected but strange. “No, that’s not true, I have to stick ‘em with the pointy end.” Theo grinned at the thought of the days when Game of Thrones had been good and Kìli laughed. “Well, you’re not wrong about that.” 

“So you hold your sword like this.” He readied himself and Theo followed his example. “And you move your arms up like this when someone strikes you.” Again, Theo tried to copy Kìlis movements. “That’s good enough, now let’s see how strong you actually are.” At his smirk Theos eyes widened. “Don’t cut off my hands, I’m quite fond of them.”, she pleaded, but Kìli only laughed. “I wouldn’t dare.” When he was sure she was ready, he stroked at her, making it easy for her to deflect him. “Not bad.”, he told her, before he came at her from another direction. Theo blocked the attack again, noticing that he was hitting her harder this time around. 

They continued that way for multiple rounds and Theo could feel her arms and shoulders slightly protesting against the unused movement. At least she didn’t have to worry about her legs. Twenty years of ice hockey made your legs strong and gave you a good balance. 

“I must say, you’re holding up better than I expected.”, Kìli admitted, striking her from above.   
“Don’t worry, I’ll land on my ass sooner rather than later.”   
This time he didn’t give her much time before attacking from the left. Theo’s wrists were protesting at the strain and she was forced to take a step back.   
Kìli increased his strength slightly, and Theo let out a curse as she pushed against him. “How do they make this look so easy?”, she asked Kìli, throwing a look over at Fíli and Dwalin.   
“Don’t ever take your eyes of your opponent.”   
Before Theo could look back at Kìli, he pushed her backwards while swiping out one of her legs underneath her. She groaned as she hit the dusty ground, throwing Kìli a murderous glare.   
“You could have just told me.”, she complained as she got back up on her legs, taking the hand he offered her. “Some lessons have to be learned the hard way.” Kìli grinned. “If you really want to learn how to use a sword, you’ll have to land on your back many times.” 

He threw her a questioning look. “Do you still want to continue?”  
Theo grinned and nodded. “Sure.” 

“Fíli, can you help Theo?” At his sudden shout Theo furrowed her forehead, looking at Kìli in confusion. “What? Why do I need his help?”   
Fíli and Dwalin stopped their sparring, both breathing hard as they looked at Kìli and Theo. 

“What do you need?”, Fíli asked, looking confused in from his brother to Theo.   
“Theo wants to learn how to fight. You’re a much better teacher than I am.”, Kìli answered, a grin on his face.   
Theo looked at Fíli and Dwalin, shaking her head. “You don’t have to stop for me.”, she assured the two of them, embarrassed to disrupt them. “It’s fine lass.”, Dwalin waved it off. “We were about to finish anyways.” 

The two of them walked over to where Bifur and Ori still sat on the grass to have a sip of water first. 

In the meantime, Theo turned to Kìli. “You could have told me that you didn’t want to teach me.”, she complained to him. “I just want you to get the best teacher there is.”, Kìli explained himself with a wide grin and Theo rolled her eyes. He would never stop teasing her for thirsting after his brother. She internally cursed herself for giving him another opportunity to do so. 

“So you admit that Fíli is the better brother?”, she bit back, hoping he wouldn’t find a way to use her words against her this time.  
“Of course I am.” Theo’s eyes widened in mortification at Fílis voice behind her back. “Even if he would never admit it.”   
“I wouldn’t be so impressed of the crazy girl preferring me.”, Kìli teased and Theo couldn’t stop herself from showing him the finger.   
“The crazy girl has a big ass sword in her hand, maybe you shouldn’t call her that.”  
Both brothers laughed at her empty threat, not worried at the least. 

“You’re about as dangerous as a little kitten.”, Kìli undermined her words, making Theo throw her head back in annoyance. “Maybe that’s what I want you to think, so you let your guard down and I can strangle you in your sleep.”   
This sent them into another fit. “Watch out Kìli, you’re making yourself a dangerous enemy.”, Fíli teased her and Theo couldn’t help but grin. “At least someone notices.”, she thanked him, internally melting at his bright smile.   
At this rate she would probably thank him for stepping on her neck.   
It really was time for her to wake up from this crazy dream, or else she would spend the rest of her life thirsting after someone who wasn’t even real. 

“Why do you want to learn how to fight anyways?”, Fíli asked her, a curious grin on his lips. One of his moustache braids was dangling higher than the other. Seriously, he was the only man on earth who could pull them off, they would look stupid on anybody else.  
“Well, someone made fun of me throwing rocks at trolls, so I thought it might be a good idea to learn something else.” She grinned at the memory. “You have a point there.”, Fíli agreed with her and looked her down, before he adverted his eyes to Kìli. 

“How’s she holding up?” Kìli shrugged his shoulders at the question. “It could be a lot worse, but I think she’ll have to get used to land on her butt.” Both brothers chuckled.   
“We better get started then.”, Fíli decided, ushering Kìli away. 

He had a cocky grin on his face as he moved into place in front of her.   
“Have you ever held a sword before?”, he asked, while he watched her readying herself. Theo shook her head. “Nope.” Fílis grin widened. “Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you.”, he assured her, making Theo smile. “I survived Kìli, I hope I’ll survive you too.”   
“Then let’s see what he taught you so far.”

Fíli raised his sword and lunged at her, making her lift Bifurs sword in a hurry. Metal clashed against metal, and Theo was surprised by the strength he used. Kìli had been a lot easier on her, although she wasn’t worried about Fíli hurting her. He seemed way too much in control for that. If anything, she would hurt herself.

He let go of her, but attacked from the other side only a moment later. Theo managed to deflect that hit as well, but was forced to take a step back.   
“Not bad.” He continued to strike at her, Theo often barely able to avoid his attacks. Her arms were slowly but surely killing her. How Fíli kept going without tiring was a mystery to her. Not even the grin disappeared from his face.

“Are you still okay?”, Fíli asked her when she groaned at one of his attacks. “I won’t be tomorrow.” She’d be surprised if she was able to lift a fork in the morning. “Do you want to stop?” Fíli took a step back and lowered his sword, but she shook her head. “What doesn’t challenge you, doesn’t change you.”, she said with a tired grin.   
“I like that thinking.”   
“It has brought me through a lot of hard trainings.”, Theo told him, just barely holding off another of his hits. “Well if it helps, you’re doing just fine.” Fílis eyes told her that he meant it and Theo couldn’t help but smile. “Thank… Ow!” 

Theo yelled out at the hit against her back and whipped around. Kìli was laughing loudly, not even caring to hide the sling shot in his hands.   
“Fuck you!”, she yelled at him and showed him the finger, before turning back to Fíli.   
“Your brother is a danger to society.” Fíli chuckled at her words. “I can’t deny that.”, he admitted. “Do you want me to kick his ass?”  
For a moment Theo was inclined to take him up on his offer, but then she refused. “I’ll kick it myself later.” 

They returned to their… fight was not the right word for it, all Theo did was trying not to get hit. Still, Theo enjoyed it, she could always lose herself in exerting her body, and she never minded spending time with Fíli. This was definitely worth the sore muscles.   
It couldn’t have been much longer than a few minutes, when something hit her again. This time against her butt. 

She heard Kìlis laugh before she managed to throw a murderous glare over her shoulder.   
“Can you please hold this?”, she asked Fíli, holding out Bifurs sword to him. “Gladly.” Fíli grinned at her. “Go kick some manners into him.” 

Theo didn’t need to be told twice. She whirled around and ran towards Kìli, who scrambled to his legs when he saw her coming. He tried to run, but she closed the distance between them quickly. Halfway across the lawn she was close enough to throw herself at him and tackle him to the ground.   
Both of them groaned when they hit the grass hard.

She hurried to keep herself on top of Kìli, who struggled hard against her. “You are such a bloody idiot.”, she yelled at him, trying to keep him on the ground. “Have you been dropped on your head as a baby?”  
Kìli laughed at her words, his hands fighting against hers.   
“Did I disturb your romantic outing?”, he teased her in between her laughs and Theo felt her head turn red in anger and embarrassment. “Shut up, did your mother teach you no manners at all?”

She fought against his arms, trying to pin them to the ground, although she was quite aware that Kìli was the stronger out of the two of them. “You’re really cute when you’re angry.”, he told her, before he fought against her grip. For a moment they struggled, but Theo had no chance against Kìli. He switched their places, pinning Theo to the ground underneath him.   
No matter how hard she tried, she didn’t manage to fight him off. 

Kìli simply laughed at her attempts to struggle, sitting comfortable on top of her while holding her arms down. “Be careful, or you’re going to hurt yourself.”   
“You’re such a moron! I will kick your ass for this!”   
“And you’re telling me I have no manners. You’re the one who doesn’t know how to behave like a proper lady.” Kìli raised his eyes upwards, as if to think about something. “I think I have to teach you a lesson.” His eyes found hers again, and his lips wore the most devilish grin she had ever seen.   
“Fuck you!”, Theo cursed him, dreading to find out what he had in mind. 

“Oh, a lady shouldn’t use such foul language. People might spit on you when you insult them like that.”  
Theo’s eyes widened when she realized what Kìli was going to do. “Don’t you dare! I’m going to kill you!”   
Kìli didn’t care about her threats and a moment later there was a string of spit dangling over Theos face. She yelled out loudly and turned her face away, squealing when something wet hit her cheek.   
“You’re disgusting!”, she cried while Kìli laughed loudly. “No you are.”, he replied. 

He rolled off her with a hard laugh and Theo wiped her face at once with her hand. “How old are you, five?” She sat up and wiped the spit on his sleeve. “You’re getting payback for this, I promise.”  
“Sure, little kitten.” 

Theo climbed onto her legs and kicked Kìli in the side. She would definitely make him pay for this. There was no way that years of watching Malcolm in the middle didn’t prepare her for this. “Don’t worry, the moment you let your guard down I will be there.”  
When he only laughed, she kicked him again, before she stormed off back to the others who had watched the whole thing. 

“I take no responsibility for any harm that will come to your brother.”, she told Fíli who had the widest smile possible in his face. “Do what you must.” Apparently, none of them were worried about her causing any harm. 

She really had to change that.


	10. The Truth

“Theodora, it’s time.”

Theo looked up from the cards at Gandalf, who as usually towered over them. “You got really bad timing; did anybody ever tell you that? I was winning.”, she complained. 

“No you weren’t. Nori has been cheating for the last five minutes.”, Kíli contradicted her words. “I would never do such a thing!”, Nori defended himself, but Theo only laughed. “Who says I was playing honest? Let him cheat, he’ll lose anyways.” Now Nori laughed. “In your dreams lass.”

Gandalf chuckled at the scene in front of him. “I am very sorry to disturb this very interesting party, but I must insist.” With a sigh Theo pressed her cards in Kíli’s hands. “Finish for me and destroy him.” She sent a playful glare at Nori, who only raised an eyebrow at her. “Don’t worry lass, I’ll go easy on him.” 

She sticked out her tongue at him before she followed Gandalf to where Thorin and Balin stood. Both looked at her with warry eyes, which sent her nerves flying. She should have drunken more wine when she had the chance. “Let’s go, we wouldn’t want to leave our host waiting.” He started walking up the stairs next to them, followed by Thorin and Balin, with Theo behind them. She threw a last look at the company, wishing she could stay with them to drink and play cards. 

But instead she followed Gandalf as he climbed the stairs until they reached a large balcony. Elrond was already waiting for them, standing next to a woman unknown to Theo. 

“Lady Galadriel, thank you for being here.”, Gandalf greeted her, giving a small bow. “Mithrandir, it’s good to see you again after such long time.” She sent him a bright smile, which put Theo in awe. That’s what she imagined a goddess to look like. “Who is this?”, she whispered to Thorin, but before he could answer the woman looked over to them. 

“Thorin Oakenshield. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”, she said. Thorin gave her a nod and her eyes wandered to Balin. “Balin, son of Fundin. At your service.”, he introduced himself and she gave him a small nod. “It’s good to make your acquaintance.” 

At last her head moved to Theo. “And this must be the girl I’ve been told about.” She still smiled warmly, but her eyes were taking her in carefully. “Yes, this is Theodora of the line of Forlon.”, Gandalf confirmed. 

Theo forced her hands to stay still as everyone was watching her. Oh boy, she had a really bad feeling about this.

“It’s curious to hear of a girl claiming to be from another world.”, Galadriel continued. “I am very interested in what you will show us.” At that Theo was confused. “What do you mean, ‘show us’?” 

“Your memories. You can share them with us, which might help us to find out what happened to you.”, Galadriel explained. Suddenly Theo was even more nervous. “And how do I do that?”

Without saying anything Galadriel moved closer. It wasn’t walking what she did, it was more like floating. She stopped beside Theo, holding out one hand to her, her other hand towards Elrond.   
Elrond took the hand that was offered at once, while he himself reached out to Gandalf. 

Theo shot a nervous look to Thorin an Balin, before she took Galadriel’s hand and held her other out towards Thorin. A moment later they were all standing in a circle, looking expectantly at Galadriel who had her eyes closed. 

At first nothing happened.

Then a memory flashed up in Theo’s head. It was herself as a little girl, climbing up the old apple tree at her grandparent’s place, right behind her older sister. It felt so real as if it was happening right in this moment. 

As sudden as it popped up, it disappeared, the next memory taking over. She was a little older, jumping in the town pool on a crazy hot summer day. 

Raking leaves in autumn with her mum. 

Watching TV with her sisters. 

Dinner with her grandparents.

School. 

Driving a car. 

Christmas. 

Parties. 

One memory after another ripped through Theo’s head, and all she could do was relive it. They were out of order, one moment she was eight and riding a bike, the next she was 17 and playing ice hockey. 

And then she was walking home from work. 

Carrying her hockey gear. 

Talking to Julia on the phone. 

Getting hit by the car. 

She gasped for air, when it crashed into her and a moment later everything went black. 

There was a voice. 

Theo didn’t understand what it said, but she knew it talked to her. A second voice spoke up, but again she couldn’t make out the meaning of the words. 

Then there was light. And she found herself back on the road where she had woken up. 

Theo ripped her eyes open. Her head hurt like a bitch and there were dots dancing in front of her eyes. It took her some time to get her bearings again and when she finally realized where she was, everyone was talking wildly. 

“Are you okay there, lass?”, Balin was the first to ask, pointing at his nose.   
Still dazed she wiped her own nose, only to find blood on her fingers. 

“What was that voice?”, she asked, her own voice sounding hoarse. At that the conversation stopped, everyone looked at her. “You didn’t understand it?”, Gandalf returned the question, at which Theo shook her head. “Did you?”

“It talked of a promise. A promise and a prophecy.”, Galadriel spoke up, but her words only confused her further.   
“What promise?” Theo didn’t understand anything.   
It was Thorin who broke the silence next. “A promise given to Rorvi, in return for another.” He looked at her as if she was a ghost. “To give life to the line of Forlon, in return of life of one of his own. A life for Mahal to take as his child.” 

It didn’t make sense at all to her. “And the prophecy?”, she asked, her head swimming.   
“When the lines of Durin and Forlon unite, greatness will come to Mahal’s children once more.”, Galadriel said in her soft voice. 

A tiny voice spoke up in Theo’s head, but she refused to listen, shoving it right back where it came from.

“What does this mean? How do I get back home?”, she asked, looking into nothing, not daring to meet anybody’s eyes. Her question was met with silence. 

“This is just some weird dream; how do I wake up from this?” Theo could feel the anxiety rise inside herself as she asked again.  
“I’m very sorry to tell you this Theodora.”, Elrond spoke up before anybody else did. “Your life has been given. It’s been returned to the Valar who sent you here.” 

She stared at him, not wanting to understand.   
“No.” She refused to listen.   
“This is just some fucked up dream and there’s got to be a way for me to wake up and get home.” Her voice got louder with each word. “Theodora, I know this must be very hard to accept, however…” “No, you don’t know!” Now she was shouting at Gandalf. “You have no fucking idea how it is to wake up in a world that couldn’t be more different to your own and get called crazy over and over again until finally people believe you, only to tell you you’re dead!” 

Theo could feel a vein on her forehead pulse while she glared at everyone. “Maybe you should get some rest.”, Elrond tried to calm her down, although it was in vain since it only made her angrier. “I’m not going to get some rest. Tell me how to get home!” 

As she glared, they all shifted uncomfortable until Balin spoke up.  
“Maybe this could be your home.” He said softly. “It might not be now, but it could be one day.”   
Theo could feel her lips quiver as she looked into his kind face. Her chest felt like there was a hurricane going on inside her. His kind face only made it worse. “He’s right.”, Thorin’s deep voice made her turn her head. “You are one of us. Your grandfather Rorvi is the same man I grew up with. I will do whatever I can to protect you, you have my word.”   
Thorin’s face was serious and firm, however there was also kindness. The same she had seen on Balin’s face. Kindness and… understanding. Like he understood her outburst, like he knew how she felt. 

Theo could feel her throat constrict. She shook her head, not wanting to accept what they said. “No. It can’t be.” She closed her eyes not able to look at Thorin any longer. “You’ve seen me, I’m not a dwarf. I’m human, my grandfather can’t be the Rorvi you know.” She fought to get the words out. 

“But you are a dwarf at heart.”, Galadriel spoke up next to her. “The power that has brought you here is great. Great enough to show who you really are.”

Theo choked. “How can you say all this?”, she finally managed to say. “How can you say these things and expect me to just accept that I died?” She took a deep breath. “How can you expect me to accept that I lost my family, my friends, my home…” She choked up again and felt the tears making their way towards her eyes. “I lost everything and now I’m supposed to just… be fine with it?”

Her eyes burned. She was angry and sad and lonely… She had so many feelings swirling through her chest, she didn’t know which was the strongest. 

“We don’t expect you to be fine with it.”, Gandalf said, while the first tears spilled. “Well it sure does sound like it!”, she yelled again, her voice sounding foreign in her ears. “But guess what… I’m not! I’m not fine with this!”

She couldn’t stand there anymore. Under their sympathetic eyes, while her whole life unravelled at that very moment. 

More tears spilled as she took a few steps back. “Theodora…” 

Hearing her name made her whirl around and storm away. She heard them call out behind her, but she didn’t care. Tears were running down her checks as she hurried down the stairs, nearly tripping over them. She had to get away from all this. She needed to be alone. 

Her gaze was cloudy from the tears in her eyes, causing Theo to run right into someone, nearly knocking them over. Strong hands held her up before she could fall to the floor. “Theo?” She might not have been able to see him clearly, but she recognized Fíli’s voice. “What happened?” He seemed upset. “Are you okay?”, Kíli’s voice sounded off behind her. 

Without caring she ripped herself from Fíli’s grip and ran down the hallways towards her room.   
They called out after her as well, but again she didn’t stop. 

When she finally reached her room, she slammed the door shut behind her before collapsing against it. She felt as if she was chocking, not able to breath in, not able to get anything out. Theo’s eyes burned, the tears spilling out and her knees gave out underneath her. 

As she slumped down to the floor, a sob finally escaped her throat. Theo pulled her arms around herself and all dams broke. Her whole body shook with every sob while her head pounded.   
She could feel a scream building up in her chest and without thinking she ripped up her arm, bitting down into her skin to muffle it. 

“Theo?” The sound from the other side of the door startled her, but it didn’t do anything to stop her breakdown. “Theo what’s wrong?” 

She tried to get some words out, but her throat didn’t let her.   
Suddenly the door moved, causing Theo to throw her weight back to force it shut again. “Leave me alone Fíli!”, she choked out, before sobbing again. “Theo, please let me in.” This time she only shook her head, not able to talk. 

Again the door moved, but this time she wasn’t able to force it back. She didn’t even care. She simply stayed cowering on the floor, burying her head in her knees and weeping on. 

Arms wrapped around her, pulling her into Fíli’s chest and causing her to cry even louder. “It’s alright, it’s alright.” One of his hands slowly stroked over her back and the gesture send Theo into another fit. Things weren’t alright. Things would never be alright again. She felt her throat constricting, before another loud sob escaped her. 

Fíli’s arms shifted even tighter around her, holding her close to him.   
It didn’t help to calm her down, but he didn’t move. He held her through all the shaking, sobbing and screaming, not moving an inch. 

Even when Theo finally started to settle, he held her close while they sat in the dark.

Her body still shook every few moments, but she had at least quieted down. Theo’s face was hot; but cradled against Fíli’s chest she felt safe. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”, Fíli asked after a while, settling his chin on her head. “Not really.”, Theo whispered in reply, not moving. Neither did Fíli.   
“It’s not a dream.”, she said after a few moments, despite her former words. “And I can’t go back.”   
Fíli didn’t say anything, although one of his hands started stroking her left arm. 

“I just miss home.”, Theo continued. “I miss my family, my friends… And I will never see them again.” Theo bit her lips as she felt the tears well up again. “All this time I tried to convince myself that this was just a dream, but…” Her voice was barely audible. “I’m dead. I’m dead and there is no way for me to get back.”

“You’re strong.”, Fíli spoke up. “You will get through this.”   
When Theo stayed quiet, he continued. 

“All these weeks you kept moving forward. You fought through everything that happened and still managed to smile at the end of the day… You’re incredible strong.”   
“It’s easy when you’re around. You make me feel safe.”, Theo admitted. “What am I supposed to do when you’re gone?”   
She felt Fíli’s body stiffen at her words. “What makes you think we’re going to leave?”, he asked. He either didn’t realize she had talked about him personally or didn’t want to hear it. 

“You’re going east.”, she stated the obvious. “You only brought me here because I’m the crazy girl that needs help.”  
“At first that may have been true.”, Fíli said. “But… You saved my brother. You tried to help us with the trolls. You are a Forlon.” For a moment he stopped. “You’re one of us.” 

When she felt his fingers brush against hers, Theo looked down. Hesitantly she intertwined her fingers with his, relieved when he held her hand tightly. 

“You won’t leave me here?”, she asked, not believing what he said.   
“No. I won’t leave you.”

At that Theo finally moved her head to look up at him. She could tell he was serious. “Thank you.”   
His answer was a sad smile and a nod.   
With a sigh she returned her head against his chest, looking down at their linked fingers. 

They stayed like that for a long time, neither of them moving nor speaking. 

Only when the moon was standing high in the sky, Fíli broke the silence. “Theo?”   
He waited for an answer, but he didn’t receive one.   
She had fallen asleep.

Fíli shifted, and let go of her hand.

Carefully he cradled her in his arms and got up to carry her towards the bed. He took his time putting her down and taking off her boots, before he pulled the blanket over her. “Tomorrow everything will be better, I promise.” 

Without thinking he stroked the hair out of her face, securing it behind her ear.   
“You won’t be alone.”  
He looked at her for a moment longer before he quietly made his way out of the room, leaving Theo to a dreamless sleep.


	11. The morning after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!
> 
> I'm not completely happy with this chapter, but at the moment I think it's the best it's going to be.   
> But I'm really excited for the next chapter, which will come sometime next week :)

When Theo finally stirred form a dreamless sleep, the sun was already high in the sky. Not moving a single finger, she stayed underneath the sheets, simply looking out through the open balcony doors. 

She had never felt so alone in her life. 

All these weeks in the wilderness she had clung to the hope that this was some crazy dream, even with the doubts growing with every new day, but now it had been ripped from her fingers. 

And she had no idea what was coming now. 

There was a tiny part of her that told her to face the unknown, but most of her was done with it all. 

She had enough of this fucking fantasy stuff. She wanted to go home and see her family and friends again, not worry about fucking trolls or wargs or anything else.  
This was not her home, she didn’t belong here. What was she even supposed to do?  
She was useless at everything that needed to be done. 

Theo scowled.

Just because some bloody god decided this fate for her, didn’t mean she had to comply. Why should she? She hadn’t gotten any say in this, so why should she just accept it?

Unable to control it, Theo could feel the anger flood through her veins. 

This wasn’t fair. 

Why did she have to lose everything because of some deal that was made without her consent?

Tears were starting to pool in Theos eyes, tears of anger. She rolled around and buried her face in a pillow. Her fingers gripped hard into the soft fabric and she tried to muffle a scream, although not very successfully. She didn’t care. It felt good. 

She stayed there for a while, until her breath had calmed a little. 

Only then she sat up and kicked off the sheets. She was still wearing her clothes; she didn’t even remember getting to bed. 

Fíli. 

Her face grew hot when she thought of him. 

He must have gotten her to bed. 

Thinking of how she had cried in his arms, she buried her face in her hands. Of course he had been the one to look after her. She wasn’t even sure what she had been telling him.

Theo let out an involuntary groan. 

So not only had she yelled at Thorin and Balin after they had done nothing but offering their help, no, she also had sobbed into Fílis chest and probably told him something really stupid as well. 

She could never look them in the eyes again. 

Never before had Theo felt this embarrassed. Never. 

Her face was still flushed when she made her way into the bathroom to wash her face. She did so repeatedly until her skin was sore, only then she dared to take a look into the mirror. As expected, her face was puffy and swollen, her eyes still red. To put in into a single word, she looked like shit. 

But since she felt like shit, it was only fitting to look the part. 

With stiff legs she returned to the bedroom and poured herself a glass of water, before she sat down on the floor next to the bed. It wasn’t until she raised the glass to her lips, that she noticed the bloody and bruised circle on her forearm. 

Theo had hardly felt it last night, but she must have bitten down hard. When she traced the mark with her fingers it stung, although she welcomed the pain. It was better than the pain inside of her. 

Sipping the water, she returned her eyes to the world outside. It was a beautiful day; the sky was spotless and calm. If only she could say the same for herself.

She knew she had to leave the room at some point to face the consequences of what had happened, but she couldn’t bring herself to do so just yet. 

Part of her just wanted to run away. She could probably get out of here unnoticed, although Theo knew it wasn’t really an option. Not only wouldn’t it change anything, she would most likely just get lost and die out there by herself. And the worst part was, that it would be a huge fuck you to everything the others had done to help her. 

Theo couldn’t do that. She would never be able to forgive herself for that. 

She would have to go out there and face them. 

Maybe they would be fed up with her shit and tell her to get lost, then she could run for the hills. 

It would be a nice way to fuck over Mahal. He probably didn’t expect her to get herself killed in the wilderness; she could actually find herself grinning at that prospect. Then the fucker could go find someone else to screw over. 

A sudden burst of pain made Theo jump. She looked down at her hands, finding them covered in shards and blood. “Shit.” Moving carefully, trying not to drop the glass on the floor, she collected the shards in the fabric of her blouse, before she got up. She dropped them into a small bucket in the bathroom and then inspected her left hand. 

A few shards had dug into her palm, the blood quickly making its way down her arm. Theo cursed as she pulled them out, drawing more blood as she did so. 

She was trying to get a grip on the last piece of glass, when a knock on the door startled her. It caused her to push it deeper into her skin instead of pulling it out and she cursed even more. Not looking up from her hand she walked to the door and opened it without thinking. 

“Theo, how are… what did you do?”

At the words Theo finally raised her head and found herself in front of Fíli and Kíli. The former didn’t waste any time to grab her hand and inspect the cuts. 

“I broke a glass.”, Theo explained, her face heating up when she realized what a mess she must be to look at. She hissed when Fíli pulled out the last shard without a warning. “You should be more careful.”, he scolded her and pulled her along to the bathroom. 

Kíli followed them and leaned in the doorway, while Fíli carefully cleaned the cuts. 

“You don’t have to do this, I can do it myself.”, Theo tried to decline his help, but Fíli was having none of it, simply shaking his head at her. 

When Theo looked at Kíli, he was wearing his usual teasing grin, his eyes wandering between Fíli and Theo. She really hoped he hadn’t heard about how Fíli consoled her last night. She really might have to run away then. 

“Why did you come?”, Theo asked and returned her eyes to Fílis hand, which was pressing a towel tightly against her palm. 

“Thorin told us to get you. He wants to talk to you.”, Fíli answered, his voice calm. Theo didn’t dare to look up, she would not be able to handle any pity in his face. So instead she just nodded. “I guess that was to be expected.” 

“Are you ready to talk?”

Of course he had to ask that. 

“I don’t know.”, Theo simply stated and it was the truth. She probably wasn’t, but she didn’t know if she’d ever be. 

“Don’t worry, we’ll be with you.” She looked up at Kíli and couldn’t help the thankful smile on her lips. He might be a moron at times, but at least he was a nice moron. “Thanks.”

“Hold that for a moment please.”

Theo did as she was told and continued to press the small towel to her palm, while Fíli started searching for some bandages. When he found them, he made her remove the towel and began wrapping up her hand. 

How could hands be so rough and soft simultaneously?

“Thank you.” Theo made the mistake of looking up at Fílis face for a moment and the mixture of pity, worry and kindness made her sick. She forced down a lump in her throat and hurried to blink away the tears that made their way into her eyes. “You’re welcome.” 

Fíli finished wrapping the bandage around her hand and Theo all but bolted from the bathroom to put on her boots. Suddenly she didn’t mind having to talk to Thorin if it meant not having to look at Fíli. If he looked at her like that again, she would probably break down again. And she doubted that he would like a repeat of the night before. 

“Do you want to get some breakfast first?”, Kíli tried to lighten the tense mood, although he was not very successful this time around. “I’m not hungry.”, she declined, just wanting to get it all over with. 

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?”, Fíli asked, his voice doubtful.

“Yes.”, Theo said, while her mind screamed no. 

Again, she accidently looked up at Fíli and Kíli, both of their faces full of doubt and worry. They really must be scared that she would cry again. And she couldn’t blame them. She probably would. She wanted to do so right now. 

Theo watched them share a look, and when Kíli shrugged his shoulders Fíli let out a sigh. “Let’s go.”, he told them and led the way out of the room into the hallway. Kíli gestured for Theo to follow him and she did so with an internal sigh. 

They walked in silence; the brothers apparently not quite sure what to say. It was fine by Theo; she wasn’t sure either. 

Fíli and Kíli led her outside into the gardens, down a path until they were surrounded by trees. There they finally found Thorin, Balin and Dwalin. 

Theo had to swallow down another lump in her throat, dreading what they would say. 

“Are you feeling better lass?”, Balin was the first to greet her and Theo forced herself to nod. “Sorry for yelling at you last night.”, she apologized, still ashamed for what she had said. 

She was glad to find him wave it off. “Don’t worry about it, I suppose anybody would have reacted that way.”

“I meant what I said last night.” When Thorin spoke up, Theo turned to look at him. “I will do whatever I can to protect you. If we were back at the Ered Luin I would offer you a place in my home. However, I can’t do that now and there is no way to get you back there.” He stopped and looked at her for a moment. “What I can do, is offer you a place in our company. To give you a chance to help us reclaim Erebor.” 

Theo furrowed her forehead. 

“Thank you, but aren’t you traveling to the Iron Hills?”, she asked in confusion. When her question was met by silence and uncomfortable looks, she answered her question herself. “You lied.”

“We did.”, Fíli was the first to speak up, looking rather uncomfortable. 

“We didn’t know if we could trust you.” Theo nodded at Dwalins explanation. She didn’t blame them. After all they had thought her to be crazy. 

“So you are going to kill the dragon?” It sounded like a suicide mission, but to be fair, all she knew of dragons she had learned in fantasy books and movies. 

“We will reclaim our home, no matter what we will have to face.” Thorins face was fierce as he spoke. “It will not be easy, we have a long way in front of us and if Smaug is still alive, he won’t leave the mountain without a fight.” 

Again he paused. “But I promise you that we’ll look out for you if you decide to come with us.” 

Theo nodded. “You have done so for a while now.”, she told him and truly meant it. Not everybody would have taken her along all this way. She had been just a mad girl they came across by chance, and apart from the first shock they had always been kind to her.   
There was nothing she could offer them, nothing she could help them with and still they gave her the choice to come with them. 

“If you’ll have me, I will come.” 

It’s not like she had anywhere else to go anyways.

“Very well, I will draw up a contract for you.”, Balin announced right away, nodding in approval. They all seemed satisfied with her answer. As to why, Theo had no clue, but she wouldn’t argue with them. 

“We will leave in a few days. There is some other business we have to take care of, but if there is anything we can do to help, let us know.” It were words like these that showed how compassionate Thorin could be. He might be grumpy and intimidating at first sight, but he really had a big heart on the inside. 

“Thank you, I’ll find a way to deal with it.” Theo swallowed hard, forcing back the thoughts that threatened to rise. “I’m not the only one who has dead people.”

“No you’re not, but it doesn’t make it any easier to lose them.” Theo didn’t expect Dwalin to be the one to answer, but he said nothing but the truth. 

It wasn’t easy.


	12. Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody!  
> I really want to thank you all for your kodus and the comments! I'm really glad you enjoy this story!
> 
> It's time for Theo to say goodbye to her past, but gladly she doesn't have to do so alone.
> 
> The next chapters might need a while, I'm now at the end of my prewritten part of the story. There are some snippets prepared, but I'm not sure in what order and how exactly I'm going to use them. But I'll try very hard to keep the updates on a regular scedule. 
> 
> Have a lovely sunday and stay safe in these mad times!

It was a peaceful place, this forest.   
There was no noise, only the sounds of nature. 

A breeze in the wind, the whistling of birds, the rushing of the river…

A truly beautiful place to think. 

Theo leaned back against the tree behind her and pulled her legs close. She had wandered into the forest when the sun had barely risen over the horizon, and now it was high in the sky, it’s light falling though the foliage above her. 

The dark hole in her chest didn’t hurt as badly as it had for the last few days, but there still was this gaping void. She guessed it was an improvement, although she couldn’t imagine it would ever really disappear. 

With a sigh she pulled a few pieces of paper out of her pocket, holding them carefully in her hands.   
It had felt good to write it all down. 

Everything she wanted to tell her family.

Everything she would never be able to tell them. 

Once again, the anger flared up inside of her. The anger at her grandfather and the bloody god who decided to play with her life as he saw fit.   
Ripping her out of her own life, for some fucking prophecy she didn’t want any part in.

Maybe she should write him a letter as well. Although if he was able to kill her and bring her here, he was probably able to read her thoughts regarding him as well.   
Which was good, because it would take longer than a night to write down every single curse she had for him. 

Sighing once again, she closed her eyes and let her head fall back.  
She just wanted to see her family again. She couldn’t imagine never talking to any of them again. 

Like so many times before, she could feel a lump form in her throat.   
“Damn it.” Theo forced herself to breath slowly, not wanting to break down again. She had done so too many times over the last few days.  
Only when she could feel her heartbeat slowing down, she reopened her eyes. 

Theo raised her arms slightly and balanced the letters on her knees. It had taken her all night to write everything down. She felt as if it wasn’t enough and too much at once. 

Three letters.   
For her parents.   
For Eliza.   
For Eva. 

What to do now was the question.   
Theo couldn’t keep them; they were pulling her down like an anchor. 

She could burn them, but somehow that just didn’t feel right. However she also couldn’t bring it over herself to just throw them away.   
Maybe she should bury them. 

No, that didn’t feel right either.

In silence she lifted her eyes and watched the water rushing a few meters in front of her. 

That was it. 

Carefully she placed two of the letters on the ground next to her, before she opened the third.

Mum and Dad. 

She couldn’t bring herself to read it again, this letter alone had taken her about two hours to finish. It seemed like she had cried each time she completed a sentence. Carefully she started to fold it, taking great care to do so as neatly as possible. It didn’t take her long until she looked at a small paper boat. 

She repeated the process with the two other letters, until three paper boats were lying in her lap. 

Looking at them, she failed to find the strength to get up. 

It felt like a goodbye. 

And Theo wasn’t sure if she was ready for it. 

Part of her knew she would have to find closure at some point, although she doubted she would do so any time soon.   
Maybe it was a good thing that they would leave tomorrow. It meant that she would no longer be able to avoid anyone. She’d have something to do instead of just feeling sorry for herself. 

“There you are!”

Theo looked up, startled by the sudden shout. 

Kíli was walking through the trees towards her, only coming to a halt when he reached her.   
“We were looking for you for a while.”, he told her, looking down at her with a smile. 

There was no pity in his face and Theo was glad about that. She loathed all that pity that was thrown her way. Of course it was only well meant, but it just kept reminding her of what she had lost. 

“I came down here in the morning.”, she explained herself, not moving from her spot under the tree.   
It was obvious that Kíli mustered her and the paper boats in her lap, trying to figure out what she was doing.   
“What are you doing?” Without asking for permission he sat down next to her, spreading out his legs in front of him. At his question Theos eyes wandered from his face to the letters, contemplating what to tell him. In the end she settled on the truth.

“I’m not sure to be honest. I guess it’s a goodbye of some sort.” 

For a moment Kíli didn’t say anything and Theo didn’t dare to look up.   
“Are those letters for your family?”   
She nodded at his question, still not meeting his eyes.   
“What are you going to do with them?”  
Theo shrugged her shoulders.   
“Let them float on the river I guess.” 

Finally she found the courage to turn her head and look at Kíli, surprised by the calm expression on his face. It was… it seemed he understood what she was trying to do. 

“Do you want me to leave?”

His question caught Theo of guard. She thought she’d say yes, however she found herself shaking her head. “No, you can stay if you want to.”

A small smile appeared on Kílis lips. “Sure.” 

Theo found herself returning it. It seemed that Kílis presence gave her the strength to actually do this.   
She set the paper boats on the ground between them before she pulled off her boots and set them careless to the side. With a deep breath she got up on her legs and picked up two of the boats.

Her legs were heavy when Theo stepped into the water, she didn’t even care about how cold it was.   
Soon the water was up to her calves, soaking her jeans immediately. 

Balancing the boats on her fingers, Theo wished she could tell her family what she wanted to say. Maybe Mahal would let them know how she felt. He owed her that at least. 

“Thank you. For everything.”, she whispered, thinking of her parents. There was nothing else to say. She had written it all down in the night. With shaking fingers and a heavy heart, she set one of the boats down on the water, watching as it stayed on the surface for a little while before it sunk.

When she set her eyes on the second boat, she could tell by the words written on the paper, that it was the letter for Eliza. “Take care of yourself and your little ones.” Thinking of her niece and nephews, she let go of the paper. She could only hope for them to grow up happy, but she knew Eliza would look after them. 

Once the boat disappeared as well, Theo turned around, moving to get the last boat. 

However, the sight in front of her made her freeze.   
Kíli had unfolded the last piece of paper and was reading the letter she had written for Eva. 

Engrossed in the words, he didn’t even notice her stare. 

Theos heart was beating wildly in her chest, thinking of all the things she had written down.   
That letter had been the hardest to write. 

Eva had been her best friend. She loved Eliza just as much, but Eva had always been her other half. She was the one person Theo truly could tell anything. The person she would have the best times of her live with, but also the person to hold her when she felt down. 

Theo didn’t make a sound until Kíli finished the letter and looked up at her.   
Again his eyes were full of understanding.   
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”   
He stood up and walked to the edge of the water, where he held out the piece of paper towards her. 

As in trance Theo moved in his direction and took the letter from his outstretched hand. 

“You really miss her.”

Theo could feel the tears prickle in her eyes as she nodded. “Like crazy.”  
Kíli nodded and placed a hand on her shoulder. He pulled her closer until he was able to pull her into a tight hug. Because she was standing in the water, Theos head only reached his chest, but without hesitation she returned the embrace by wrapping her arms around Kíli. 

Silent tears spilled over her checks. 

They stayed that way for a while until Kíli pulled away a little. “Do you want to talk about it?”, he asked her, watching as she wiped the tears from her cheeks. Not trusting her voice, Theo shook her head. 

Kíli didn’t press her further, and just watched as she refolded the letter. 

Once she was finished, Theo walked back into the deeper water.   
Swallowing hard, she set the boat down.   
“I love you all so much. I haven’t said it enough, but it’s true. I will always love you.” 

Like the two other boats, it floated on the water, before it disappeared in the current. 

Fresh tears were falling down on her cheeks and Theo kept her eyes on the water, letting them run freely. 

Somehow, she felt better.   
They’d be okay. Maybe not today, but some day. They had each other, and they would look after one another.   
They’d be alright. And that was all that mattered to her. 

It was a while before she turned back towards the shore.   
Kíli was still standing there, watching her as she stepped out of the water and returned to her seat underneath the tree. 

“You’re like Fíli.”

Theo looked up, confused at Kílis words. “What are you talking about?”, she asked. The tears were still spilling, but she was surprisingly calm.   
“You don’t talk about what troubles you.” Kíli walked towards her, sitting down next to her. “Fíli was just like that when our father died.”   
A solemn look appeared on Kílis face, it was very strange to see him that way.   
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you lost your father.”, Theo apologized, feeling bad for not knowing about it. 

“I was fifteen when he died. Uncle was the one to tell us about what had happened.” Kíli was clearly lost in his memories. “I cried and screamed, not wanting to believe him, but Fíli just disappeared. For weeks he made himself scarce whenever he could, not once talking about how he felt.”

“What happened?”

Kílis face didn’t move, although he didn’t stop talking.   
“It was an accident in the forges.” He took a deep breath. “There was nothing that could have been done, but it took me a long time to accept that.” 

He trailed off and swallowed hard.

“You don’t have to hide from us. It’s okay that you don’t want to talk about it, but it helps to know that you’re not alone.”

Theo swallowed and nodded at the same time.   
“It’s the pity.”, she told him, her voice quiet. “I can’t handle the pity.” 

Kíli chuckled quietly. “That’s what Fíli said when I finally cornered him. That the pity reminded him of everything that he had lost.”

That was exactly how she felt. “I know you mean well and I can’t thank you enough for it, but it’s just … it rips it open all over again.” 

Now Kílis eyes found hers. “It was nice what you did. The letters. Did it help?”   
“It did.” Theo actually managed to put a small smile on her lips. It felt like the first smile she didn’t have to force in a long time.   
“Good.” Kíli paused before he continued. “I will get better. It will take some time and there are many moments when it overwhelms you all over again, but in the end you will find a way to life with it.” 

She let out a huff at his words. “When did you become so wise?”

Kíli chuckled. “I’ve always been wise, you just never noticed.” 

A grin appeared on Theos lips. “Sure, all hail the wise Kíli.” 

They fell back in silence, both lost in their own thoughts and memories. 

“I’m sorry I read the letter.”, Kíli broke it eventually, surprising Theo.   
“It’s okay, it’s not like Eva will ever get around to read it.” She was telling the truth; it didn’t bother her. It had just caught her unprepared.   
“You really love her.”, he continued, watching her closely, but Theo didn’t notice. In her mind she looked at her little sisters laughing face. “I do.”   
For a moment Theo didn’t say anything else, then she looked at Kíli.   
“You remind me of her.” Maybe that was the reason that she liked Kíli so much.

Kíli grinned widely at her words. “She must be really amazing then.”   
She nodded, grinning herself. “She is.”   
Theo hadn’t felt this good in days. She was really glad that Kíli had found her, as unexpected as it had been. 

“Thank you.”  
Her words obviously caught Kíli by surprise. “What for?”  
Not even sure herself, Theo shrugged her shoulders. “Everything I guess.” It took her a moment longer to put her thoughts into words. “I’d be lost without you.”   
Instead of answering Kíli pulled her close until her head was settled on his shoulder. 

“You’re our little stray kitten. Of course we take care of you.”

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

They had stayed at the river for a while longer, before Kíli made her get up to join him and the others for an early dinner.   
Although Theo had been tired, not having slept at all last night, she couldn’t deny it felt good.   
She might have been quiet for the most time, but she enjoyed the stories and songs they shared. It might have helped that she was able to drink some wine whenever she noticed those dreaded looks of pity.

Only when she couldn’t stop yawning anymore, she left to go to sleep.   
However when she entered her room, she stopped halfway through the door. Lady Galadriel was sitting on one of the chairs near the balcony door. 

“Theodora. I’ve been waiting for you.”, she greeted Theo, her radiant smile lightening up the room.   
“Oh, I… uhm…”, Theo didn’t know what to say.   
“I am glad you’re feeling better. I am also glad you have friends to look after you.”, Galadriel continued, gesturing for Theo to sit in the other chair. She did as she was told, not sure what to make of her visit. 

“I have been thinking about your fate a lot these last few days.”   
Theo played nervously with her fingers. She really didn’t understand why Galadriel was here.   
“I know you aren’t happy about everything that happened.” Well that was an understatement. “Although I am sure that the Valar did not do this without reason.” 

Theo still wasn’t sure what Galadriel wanted from her.   
“These past few days I’ve also learned that you don’t carry anything with you, but the clothes on your back.”, Galadriel spoke softly, pity in her eyes. “I would offer you to stay here with us, however I don’t think this is what the Valar have planned for you. I also don’t think you’d be very happy here.” 

Now Theo felt a little bad for wanting to leave, but not enough to change her mind. 

“So, I had a few things prepared for you.” Galadriel looked at the bed and when Theo did as well, she noticed the small pile that had been placed there. “It isn’t much, although I think these things will be useful, wherever your journey will take you.”

“Thank you.”, Theo finally managed to say, looking back at Galadriel. “But I don’t have anything to repay you for this.” She had been living off other people’s goodwill for a while now, but this was too much.   
“These are gifts. There is no need to repay anyone.”, Galadriel calmed her down. “Just promise me to look forward, to seize the opportunities the Valar have given you despite of how you feel now.”   
Theo swallowed hard. She couldn’t promise that.   
A small part of her still tried to argue that this was a dream, although she knew better than that. And then there was this part of her that was just angry.   
“I’ll try.” That was the best she could offer.   
“That is all I could ever ask.” 

Galadriel stood up, but she didn’t leave the room yet. “Have faith in your path, it will take you just were you are meant to be, no matter how dark it might be at the moment.” Her smile widened knowingly. “And know that you are not alone, you have friends here.” She paused for a moment before she continued. “And there is someone who cares very deeply for you, even if you might not see it yet.”

Theo furrowed her forehead at Galadriels words. “What… I don’t even know how this is supposed to work. Everybody keeps saying that I’m half dwarf, half human, but you said Mahal took me in as his child and that I’m a dwarf at heart… I don’t even know what I am.”

“Your human life is now behind you. It might not be gone completely, but as far as I can tell you are a dwarf. And I suppose you will lead a dwarfish live.”  
Theo looked up in doubt. “So I won’t grow old and die alone while everyone else keeps living for at least twice that long?”, she finally voiced the question that had been in the back of her head for the last few days. 

Galadriel shook her head. “No, I don’t think the Valar sent you here just to die by yourself.”   
That didn’t help to calm down Theo completely. They had killed her before, so why shouldn’t they do so again?   
“You just need to have faith; you will find your way.”  
With these words she left. She glided out of the room, leaving Theo speechless. 

It took her a few moments before she sorted out her mind enough to get up. She walked towards the bed and looked at the pile that was left there.   
There was a bag and some clothes. Theo unfolded the blue tunic and the beige trousers judging their size. They seemed a little too long, but it was definitely better than having no spares at all. The elves also had given her a thick pullover, socks, and a few pieces of fabric that Theo couldn’t place for a moment. 

She grinned when it finally dawned her. Sanitary pads.   
The elves had thought of everything. Theo hadn’t been thinking of her period for a while, she wasn’t even sure when she was due for that ride of joy. If she continued to be so stressed, she probably would never get it again, and she wouldn’t shed a single tear about it. 

With a tired smile Theo packed everything into the bag and set it on the ground, but she halted when she saw what else the elves had left for her. 

Hidden underneath the bag she hadn’t noticed it.   
Theo reached out for it slowly, not quite believing it. 

A sword.

They gave her a bloody sword. 

Like so many times before, Theos heart was beating wildly. 

What trouble was she getting herself into, when even the elves thought she needed a sword?


	13. About beards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> I hope you are all doing well and enjoying your weekend!
> 
> Our little Theo is trying hard to keep going, and she is lucky to have a whole company of dwarfs to help her with that.   
> They might just be able to show her that she could be stuck in worse places. 
> 
> Even if they can be very weird at times...

„Get up.“  
Theo rolled onto her side and pushed herself up with a groan. Her whole body protested, begging her to stay down, however she forced herself to return to her original stance in front of Dwalin.  
He was a lot harder on her than Fíli and Kíli were. They always asked her if she was okay when she went down. Dwalin told her to get up only to knock her down again. 

“It’s your turn.”, he told her and without wasting any time, Theo attacked him. She had gotten better over the last few weeks, but she still didn’t stand a chance against anyone else. Especially not Dwalin.   
He blocked the hit effortlessly.  
Theo knew it would take her years to become half as good as any of them were. They blocked every hit she made, while she was struggling to react in time whenever someone stroke at her. And if she managed to do so, she was often knocked down by pure strength.   
It didn’t stop her from attacking him repeatedly, though. 

“Don’t let me get so close.”, Dwalin lectured her, when she barely managed to hold off his hit that was aimed straight at her head. Instead of answering she pushed his sword back and tried to attack his side, but he turned away easily and deflected the hit, forcing her to take a step back.   
Theo didn’t wait for him to come after her, she threw herself back at Dwalin and tried to take a hit at his shoulder, but again he averted her attack and before she could react, he raised his sword right to her neck. 

“Dead again.”, Dwalin said and Theo dropped her arms in defeat. “If only.”, she complained and rolled her stiff shoulders, but grinned at the same time. “Let’s do it again.”

This time Dwalin attacked her first and Theo was quick to deflect.   
The two of them moved back and forth, Theo mostly clumsily while Dwalins every move looked like the most natural thing in the world. Her arms were sore, but at the same time she truly enjoyed the activity. She didn’t have the chance to think of anything else while they were fighting, and that alone was reason enough for her to keep going.   
When Theo managed to deflect Dwalins sword to the side and brought it back around in one swift movement, she nearly caught him unprepared. Nearly.   
Okay, maybe she just told that to herself.

“Not bad.”, he admitted as he continued to strike at her. She didn’t have the breath to answer, straining herself to keep up with his increasing speed.   
Although she was only successful for a short time, for he knocked her down with a heavy hit from above. Theo groaned as she landed on her backside, throwing her head back in defeat. “I give up.”, she told Dwalin who stood over her with a grin and an outstretched hand. 

She knew they went easy on her, if they ever wanted to really attack her, she would be down within seconds. 

“You’re getting better.”, he said when she reached out and let him pull her up. “But you’re still attacking without any strategy. Think about what you’re going to do first.”  
Theo nodded while she rolled her aching shoulders. “I’ll try.” She already had a strategy. Don’t get hit.   
“I mean it. You’re not giving up and that is good, but you have to use your head too.”  
Dwalin looked her down, taking in her tired state. “Let’s call it a day, get some rest.” 

Theo didn’t put up a fight, she was about to fall asleep while standing up. She definitely couldn’t lift the sword any longer.  
“Thanks for kicking my ass again.”  
Her words made Dwalin laugh. “Anytime lass.”   
Together they made their way back to the others, who were sitting around the campfire, slowly settling for the night.   
Dawn was upon them; however a nearly full moon was already up in the sky, providing more than enough light. 

Her pack was still laying on the ground where she had put it down earlier and Theo let her legs buckle next to it.   
Bofur was telling a wild story about a bear attack, but instead of listening like the others did, she unpacked her bedroll and lay down on her back. There was absolutely no energy left in her body. 

Ever since they had left Rivendell, they hadn’t stayed at a place for more than a night.   
They rose with the sun to hike all day long until they started to make camp in the late afternoon. Although there had been days when it was almost night when they finally stopped walking. 

The muscles in Theos legs were hard as stone by now, however they were not as sore or tired as her arms. 

She had started to train with her sword every night, often doing so until she was exhausted.   
It was mostly Fíli and Kíli who helped her, although there were times when someone else joined her, like Dwalin had done tonight.   
One time even she and Ori had a go, but they were stopped by Dori before they killed each other. He definitely knew how to give a lecture. 

Truth be told, Theo enjoyed it. 

By tiring out her body, she managed to avoid thinking about everything else.   
And that was worth getting your ass kicked on a daily basis. 

“How bad was it?”

“Could have been worse.”, she answered without opening her eyes or moving. 

There was a thud when Fíli dropped to the ground next to her and when she heard some shuffling, she knew that he was pulling out his pipe.   
“You know that you can take a break?”, Fíli asked and Theo nodded without looking at him.   
“I do.”  
She just didn’t want to. 

“No trolls nearby to eat us tonight?”

Everybody had learned from their previous mistake and now a pair of them had to do a sweep of the surrounding area every evening. Tonight it had been Kíli and Fíli, which was the reason for Dwalin kicking her ass. 

“No trolls. You just have to watch out for Kílis smelly feet.”

Theo chuckled at the memory of waking to a stinking, holey sock in front of her face. 

“He’s your brother, you should be the one to put with that.”  
“It’s not my fault that you keep choosing these poor places to sleep.”, Fíli defended himself, not wanting to take the blame for her own mistakes. 

A grin grew on Theos face. “Very well, I sleep on your side from now on.”   
“Smart choice.”  
“But I’ll blame you personally for any disturbance to my beauty sleep.”

Now Fíli chuckled, a sound that made Theo feel warm.   
“I’ll guard your slumber with my life.”, he told her, humour lacing his voice.   
“Thank you, now I can finally sleep save and soundly.”

Both laughed again, before they fell into silence, Fíli smoking his pipe and Theo continuing to drift somewhere in between consciousness and sleep. 

It was nice. 

He didn’t look at her with that pitiful look anymore, which Theo was very thankful for. She had a hunch that Kíli had something to do with that, but she didn’t care.   
At least she could look at him again.   
And she rather looked at him to swoon each time he smiled, than tear up.

It was a way better thing to spend your time on. 

“How’s our little stray doing?”

Theo let out a huff. Ever since Kíli had called her that the day at the river, he stuck with it. He rarely even used her name anymore. 

Opening one eye, she looked up at the dark haired dwarf standing above her. “Deciding on whether it should bite or scratch you.”   
Kíli grinned and stepped over her to sit down next to Fíli. “Well at the moment it looks like you’re not able to do either, so I’m not worried.”

She let out another huff. “I would hit you if I could lift my arms.”

Kíli and Fíli chuckled at her words, and Theo felt her lips stretch into a grin again.   
She really liked these two morons. 

She might not be able to understand the confusing mess inside her, that Fíli managed to start every other moment by simply existing, but she was glad to be able to call them her friends.   
And if she was honest with herself, this Fíli mess was good at keeping all the other drawers of hurt and sorrow closed. Which was something she was desperate for. They opened way too easily. 

Not moving from her spot she looked up at the sky. It was not completely dark yet and the moon lighted up the sky, but she could see so many stars already.   
They were beautiful.

Beautiful strangers.

More strangers in a very strange world. The more she started to think about it, the more she felt like the lost stray. 

Completely lost in her own head she didn’t realize the others talked to her. 

Only when Kíli kicked her leg she turned her attention back on her surroundings. 

“What?”

“You’re on watch duty tonight.”, Fíli repeated his words to her, causing her to groan. All she wanted to do was sleep. Sleep and not think.  
“Which one?”, she asked, dreading his answer. 

“The last one.”

His answer made Theo breath out in relief. She could live with that. It was way better than getting the middle shift.   
“And who’s with me?”  
“Gloin.”

________________________________________________________

A kick against her backside ripped Theo out of her slumber.   
She glared at Nori, but he didn’t care and simply walked over to his own bedroll, clearly tired from his watch. 

Quietly cursing him for disturbing her sleep, Theo sat up and stretched her limbs. 

Everything was quiet.

The only other person up and around was Gloin, who was already making his way towards their small fire. Biding a silent farewell to her peaceful slumber, she manoeuvred around the sleeping company members and took a seat across from him. With her coat draped around her shoulders she wasn’t cold; the nights had grown warm compared to when they had first left Bilbos home. 

Neither of them said anything for a while, they just looked into the darkness over each other’s shoulders. Theo doubted that anything would happen at this point of the night, but everybody had to do their job. So if they told her to take watch, she would do so. 

“How can you wear that?”, Gloin suddenly broke the silence without warning. He looked at her with his nose scrunched in disgust.

Not understanding what he was talking about, Theo looked down at herself. She was wearing the short sleeve tunic and the pants the elves had given her. 

“What do you mean? It doesn’t look that bad.” 

She meant it. The clothes fit surprisingly well, they were only too long. But she was in no position to complain about ill fitting clothes. So as long as she didn’t lose the pants while she walked, she was happy. 

Gloin scuffed and shook his head. 

“It’s from the Mebelkhagâs.”, he spat out, but it only helped to clear things up halfway.   
“I don’t have anything else.”, Theo defended herself. “And what does Mebelkagas mean?”  
She knew he was talking about the elves, but she was pretty sure it was an insult. And she wanted to know how bad it was. 

“Mebelkhagâs.”, Gloin corrected her. “It means stiff-neck.” Theo chuckled, before she repeated it. “Mebelkhagâs.” She had to remember that. 

“You’re ugly enough as it is, this only makes it worse.” Theos mouth fell open as she looked at Gloin. Did he really just say that? “Did you just call me ugly?”, she asked with a chuckle.   
“You can call me dirty and disgusting all you want, but ugly is a bit harsh.” She knew that she was no super model, but she always thought she looked alright. At least she didn’t think of herself as outright ugly. 

“Of course you’re ugly, you don’t have a beard and there is hardly any meat on your bones.” Gloins explanation made Theo break out in laughter. She hurried to stifle it, not wanting to wake the others, but she kept on snorting.  
“Okay, I never expected to be called ugly for not having a beard. Or for being too thin.” Theo couldn’t help herself but think of this as hilarious. If anything, she had always thought of herself to be built too broadly. Gloin looked at her like she had turned mad. It seemed she was supposed to worry about this.   
“Are beards really that important?”

She definitely needed to know more about this.   
“Sure, what’s not to like about them?”, Gloin asked, stroking his own beard proudly. “There is nothing wrong with them, I just didn’t think that they are the most important thing.” Theo shook her head in disbelief. “Isn’t it a bit shallow to just…” She trailed off when her eyes fell on Fíli and Kíli who were snoring next to each other near the spot she had slept in. 

“So is Kíli ugly by dwarfish standards?” Theo looked at Gloin expectantly.   
“With that little scruff definitely.” He shrugged his shoulders as if it was obvious. That guy really told it as it was. 

Theo couldn’t believe it. They considered Kíli ugly. She knew a lot of girls who would definitely fawn over him. The hell, Theo thought he looked good, he just couldn’t compete with his brother in her opinion. He was a cute little puppy; he was anything but ugly

“Then why doesn’t he grow it longer?” She was outright confused. Did this mean that beards had to be as long as possible? Then why didn’t Thorin have a longer beard? Wouldn’t that be important as a King?

“I don’t think he can.” Gloin shrugged his shoulders, as if everything he told her was perfectly normal. Well to him it probably was.   
“What do you mean he can’t? He’s nearly eighty years old, he should be able to grow a beard.” 

Gloin looked at her for a moment in confusion until some kind of understanding washed over his face. 

“Stop thinking of us as humans. Our hair and beards might be more impressive than that of any human, but it doesn’t grow at the same speed.”, he explained. 

Slowly the fog in Theos mind cleared. “So he doesn’t shave his beard?” She had thought he just liked the rugged three days kind of beard. 

“No respectful dwarf would ever do that.” Gloin looked outright offended. 

It still didn’t explain why Thorin didn’t have a longer beard, but Theo wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to ask Gloin about that. She should probably ask Fíli or Kíli. Or maybe not say anything at all. She didn’t want to offend anyone by accident. And this seemed to be a touchy territory. 

“So I am supposed to have a beard as well?”   
Gloin nodded at her question, which opened another door of questions. 

“Okay, if women are supposed to have beards, do they shave their legs?”   
She was really curious about that answer. 

Now it was Goins turn to look confused. “Why would anyone shave their legs? And it’s not women, it’s dwarrowdams.” 

“Oh my god.” Theos voice was barely a whisper, but her eyes lightened up at his words. They didn’t shave their legs. Which meant she would not be expected to shave her legs. No more bending over in the shower to try to get rid of every single hair. 

This was awesome!

For the whole durance of their watch she kept asking Gloin about anything she could think of. 

Theo was amazed by their culture.   
As if it was the most ordinary thing in the world, Gloin had told her that they didn’t care much for gender. While they protected their women… no their dams… fiercely, for there were apparently way fewer dams than dwarfs, they were allowed to make choices for themselves.   
They were respected, Thorins sister even ruled over their folk in the Ered Luin in his absence. 

And at the same time, they were incredibly open to any kind of relationship.   
If someone was gay, let them be gay.   
If someone didn’t want to be in a relationship, they didn’t have to. In fact, it was apparently very common for dwarfs to stay by themselves. And no one thought anything less of them.

When Theo had told Gloin that many people thought different where she was from, he just scoffed and told her how dense and stupid humans were. 

He was not completely wrong about that. 

Gloin seriously rocked in her opinion. He really didn’t give a shit about what everybody else thought, he just spoke whatever came to his mind. And in return he just wanted people to be honest with him.

That was something Theo could definitely respect. 

With the morning sun peaking over the mountains in the east, the others around them slowly stirred from their slumber and a quiet buzzing started to fill the camp. 

Relived from her watch duty, Theo hurried to make her way to Fíli and Kíli. They had some explaining to do. 

She didn’t waste any time on greeting them, too excited about all this. Instead she dropped to the ground in between them. Fíli was already sitting up and stretching his limbs, while Kíli still lay on the ground and complained about his stiff neck. 

“Were you ever going to tell me that I’m ugly?”   
Her question clearly threw them off, for both of them froze in their movements. 

“What?” Fíli was the first to find his scratchy morning voice. “How did you get that idea?”

“Gloin told me.”, she explained, unable to stop herself from grinning. This was so fucking hilarious. 

“He did what?”, Kílis lips stretched into a wide grin and sat up, his stiff neck forgotten.   
“He told me that I’m ugly because I don’t have a beard.” Theo shrugged her shoulders. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Fílis flabbergasted face made this all the more exciting. 

“I thought you knew.” Kílis face resembled Theos own amusement. “But don’t worry, you might still grow one.”  
Theo laughed again at his words. “We can grow beards together, because apparently yours isn’t that impressive either.” 

“At least I have something to show for myself.” He kicked her, his energy already making itself known. 

“And I’m younger than you, I might grow a way better beard than you ever will.”

Theo wasn’t really desperate to grow a beard, she couldn’t even imagine having one, but it wasn’t like she could do anything about whether she would grow one or not. If it happened, it happened. 

“You’re not ugly.”

Surprised at Fílis words Theo looked from his younger brother to him.   
“But Gloin said dwarfs without beards are ugly.”

“Your smile makes up for that.”, he continued with a shrug of his shoulders and stood up. 

Theos stomach twisted in excitement at his words. He thought she had a pretty smile. He was probably just being nice, but the hell, she took it. 

“Don’t tell her that, now she will never stop with that dumb smile.”   
She turned back to Kíli and hit him against his arm.   
“Shut up, it’s not as dumb as yours.”, she defended herself, although she might very well really just look stupid.

“See what you’ve done?”, Kíli complained to Fíli.   
He picked up his blanket and before Theo knew what happened, he threw it over her head and wrestled her to the ground. 

Both laughed as Theo tried to fight him off. Kíli didn’t let go of her until she elbowed him into the ribs, but even then he kept laughing. 

Fíli still stood next to them when she pulled the blanket of her head.   
Looking down at both of them he shook his head. “You both look dumb.”

Still tangled up on the ground, Kíli and Theo didn’t care, there were worse things than looking dumb. And judging by Fílis own smile he thought so too.


	14. Losing bets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> I think I have rewritten this chapter for about 10 times, and I'm still not entirely sure if this is what I want, but it is what it is.   
> It ended up being a rather short chapter, but I don't want to dwell on it any longer and rather continue with the next part. 
> 
> Thank you all for your continued support!
> 
> I had not expected to find so many of you enjoying Theos journey and really hope to meet your expectations!

The sun kissed skin on Theos cheeks and neck tingled. It might just have passed the border to become an actual sunburn during the day, as even now, in the middle of the night, it continued to keep her warm.

Theo yawned into the crook of her elbow, before she wrapped her arms around herself. 

At least she wasn’t cold. 

This was the second night in a row that she didn’t get to sleep uninterrupted.   
But she had no one to blame for this but herself. If she had stopped gambling before she had lost all of her hard-earned silver, she might just be sleeping tight and soundly right now. 

She shifted on the hard ground, and tried to make herself a little more comfortable. 

“Is someone regretting their bet?” 

Theo halted in her movement and looked up at Fíli, who was sitting on a tree log across the fire, one of his swords splayed across his lap. He had stopped his process of sharpening it and looked at her with an amused look in his face. 

“It was a calculated risk.”, she defended herself. “The chances of Kíli beating me were near to non-existent.” 

Fíli chuckled and returned his gaze to his sword. “Which makes this all the more amusing.”   
A grin spread over Theos lips, unable to be deny the truth in his words. 

If it had been anybody but herself, she would have laughed with them at the loss. 

“Like they say, no risk, no fun.” 

They fell back into silence, but Theo kept her eyes on Fíli as he continued to sharpen his blade, finding it incredibly calming. He knew what he was doing, every movement of his hands calculated and precise. 

Maybe losing that hand of cards hadn’t been so bad. At least it gave her the opportunity to stare at Fíli without the risk of someone else noticing. 

Even slightly dishevelled from the lack of sleep he looked yaw dropping.   
If anything, it only made him look better.

But what really caught her attention were his hands. Those strong and skilled, yet gentle hands. Oh, how nice it would be to hold them and tangle her fingers with his. 

Not even daring to think of what else these hands might be skilled at. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

Fílis question ripped Theo out of her thoughts. She could feel her checks flush at the thought of him catching her starring. This crush was really getting out of hand. 

“Sure.” Anything to get her mind on other things. 

“How did you get that scar on your arm?” 

At once Theo reached for her right upper arm. She had hoped the sleeves of her tunic were long enough to cover it up, but it seemed Fíli had caught it anyways. 

“I uhm… burned myself with an iron as a kid.”, she explained, grimacing slightly at the memory. But as she had expected, her explanation only confused Fíli, it was clear to read in his face.   
“How did you manage to burn yourself in that spot?”, he asked and stopped working on his sword. Instead he leaned forwards, resting his elbows on his knees. 

Theo was used to people asking about the scar; however, Fíli didn’t seem like he was out for any gruesome details, he only seemed worried about her getting hurt.   
His heart was just too god damn big. 

“It was just some stupid accident really.”, she told him, shrugging her shoulders slightly.   
“Eliza and I had been fighting over a game, while our mum was pressing clothes. At some point we started to wrestle and Eliza pushed me against the ironing board, which caused the iron to fall over, right on top of me.” 

Theo had been six, but she could remember her mums yells like she had heard them yesterday. Her only relief was, that it wasn’t obvious to see that it had been a bloody iron that had burned her. Only if you knew what you were looking for you could see it. 

Unlike most of the people that asked her, Fíli didn’t press her for any more details, he just looked at her in sympathy. “That must have hurt.” 

With a small smile on her lips Theo nodded. “It wasn’t that bad compared to our mum locking away the game for a month.” That really had been the worst part. 

Fíli let out a laugh.   
“You sound like Kíli when he shot me with an arrow as a kid.” 

“He did what?” Theo felt her jaw drop in disbelief. 

Again, Fíli laughed and shook his head slightly. “When Kíli first got a bow, he was convinced that he was the best archer in the world.” Judging by Fílis tone, Kíli had in fact not been that good.   
“It was my mistake to take him hunting. To this day he still says that I moved into his path, but I had only stood to the side.” 

Theo chuckled at the picture in her head. “Where did he hit you?”, she asked, curious to find out whether or not Fíli had a second butt hole. 

“Right above my knee, so much for me getting in his way. He wouldn’t have shot a deer if it had stood in my place.” 

Damn. Theo felt sorry for Fíli, but at the same time she really wished she could have been with them to witness it.

“Amad was so mad at him, she nearly broke his bow. If it wasn’t for our Adad she would have done so, but he managed to talk her into locking it away for a while.” Grinning to himself, Fíli shook his head again. “But the best part was Kíli blaming me for getting shot. Like it had been my fault.” 

Theo let out a snort. “Well, to be fair, he would have kept his bow if you didn’t get shot.” 

“Of course you are on his side. Sometimes I think the two of you have the halves of the same brain inside in your heads.”, Fíli complained in feigned frustration and threw up his hands.   
“That might very well be, but at least I have a filter between my half and my mouth.”   
Sceptically Fíli raised an eyebrow. “I haven’t seen any proof of that so far.”  
“Trust me you have.”, Theo assured him. “If you knew half of what’s going on up there, you’d go back to call me crazy.” Well, either that or a really stupid stalker. 

Fíli laughed again, the sound echoing through the night. 

Pulling her knees towards her, Theo wrapped her arms around them and set her chin on top of them. 

No, having to take over Kílis shift really was not as bad as she had thought. 

When Fílis laugh quieted down, he returned his attention to the sword in his lap.   
“Many of our people called us crazy for going on this quest.”, he admitted, however there was neither shame nor regret in his voice. “So I think you fit right in with us.” 

He didn’t look at her as he said that, but Theo could tell his words were sincere. It meant a lot to her to hear him say that. 

“I don’t think you’re crazy for doing this.”  
Again, Fílis hands stopped what they were doing, but he did not look up. “You don’t?” 

“You’re trying to reclaim your ancestors’ home to secure the future of your people.” Theo shrugged her shoulders slightly. “That’s honourable, not crazy.”   
She could see the corners of his lips lift upwards, before he continued to sharpen his blade. 

They settled back into a calm silence and Theo could feel her mind begin to wander. It was nice to have a quiet moment for once. They hardly had any of those during the day, and their evenings were spent by sharing stories and games. Even when she was tasked with watch duty, it was usually spent on talking the night away. 

Knowing it was partly her fault for having tried to keep her mind occupied at any cost for the last few weeks, Theo began to see the mistake in it. 

Sure, there was nothing wrong with spending time with the others and enjoying their company, but she could stop every once in a while to breath. 

“I know you don’t like to talk about it, but how are you doing with everything?”

Fílis question startled Theo, ripping her out of her thoughts. 

He was right. She hadn’t talked about what had happened for weeks, trying to push back the pain inside her the best she could. 

Avoiding Fílis gaze she looked into the fire and forced herself to breath slowly. 

Giving herself a moment to rest, and to talk about it were two very different things. 

She still wasn’t okay with any of this. She was able to admit that it had happened, but it didn’t mean that she accepted it. 

She wasn’t okay. 

But she was better. And that was enough. 

“I’ll get there eventually.”, she answered after a moment, one of her favourite songs echoing through her mind. Every step she took, brought her one step closer.   
To whatever that was. 

“You will.” 

Theo looked up from the fire, only to be meet by a caring and supporting look in Fílis eyes. At the sight she couldn’t help a small smile from spreading over her lips.   
She would. One day she would.

Instead of pressing her for more, Fíli turned his head away from the fire. When Theo followed his gaze, she found the spot where Kíli was snoring soundly. 

Looking back to the elder brother, she found his face deep in thought. 

For what must have been the millionth time, Theo envied the bond they shared.   
Being the middle child out of three, she could relate to the way Kíli looked up to Fíli and the way Fíli watched out for Kíli. 

“Are you worried?”, she asked Fíli, forcing herself to shake the green monster and trying to distract her companion at the same time. 

Fílis head snapped back towards her and Theo nodded in Kílis direction, a silent explanation for the reason she asked. 

For a moment Fílis face remained an unreadable façade. 

Just when Theo thought he wouldn’t answer, he nodded. 

“It’s a long road ahead of us.”, he said, not needing to elaborate any further. Both of them had signed the same contract, with all the dangers that had been listed. 

“Do you think we will actually defeat this dragon?”, she asked, thinking of what waited for them at the end of that road.

Fíli mustered her for a moment before he spoke. “We have to, so we will find a way.” He seemed confident at the prospect of it, although Theo wasn’t completely convinced that it wasn’t just charade. “Are you worried about it?” 

“Worried about a huge, fire spitting dragon, that will probably exceed any of my expectations? Not at the least.” Theo chuckled quietly. She would worry about that when they reached Erebor, not a moment earlier. Until then she would keep herself going with her stupid sense of humour. “As long as we can find a talking donkey, we’ll be fine.” 

“A talking donkey?” Fíli looked confused, but Theo really couldn’t blame him for it. 

“Yes, we just have to send it in there and it will talk to Smaug and then it’ll find out that Smaug is actually female and just wants to be loved.”, she told Fíli with a grin stretching over her face. 

Fíli let out a snort at that and shook his head. “I don’t know what you smoked, but I’m offended you didn’t share.” 

“I mean it. Smaug might just be this fucking monstrosity because no one ever told him that he’s pretty.” 

Shaking his head, Fíli once again restarted sharpening his sword.   
“You really have some strange ideas in that head of yours.” 

“You got a point there, but I can’t take credit for this one. It’s what happens in a story from home.” Just thinking of Shrek made Theo happy. It had been one of her favourite movies growing up. 

“Care to tell me?” Not stopping in his movements, Fíli looked up at her expectantly.  
“Sure. Do you know what an Ogre is?”


	15. Stone Giants and... a massive pile of shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello you guys!
> 
> This chapter turned out quite long to say the least.  
> It also reminded me of how hard it can be to write about fighting. 
> 
> But I'm actually quite happy with how it turned out, so I hope this will lighten up your sunday!
> 
> Thanks again for your continued support, it really makes my day I see any of your comments or kodus!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this as well!

The wind carried a frosty bite, tearing merciless at them.

It almost seemed like it tried to pull them down into the darkness, joining forces with gravity itself. 

And because the burning cheeks and hurting ears weren’t enough, they had managed to find themselves in the middle of a storm.   
It turned the steep path they were currently climbing up into a sleek and slippery slope, which meant that even a single misplaced step could end up in a potential death sentence. 

With her hair sticking to her head and chilled to the bones, Theo was not faring any better than the rest of the company. 

Well… she might have been better off than Bilbo. 

Walking right behind him, Theo could tell that he was struggling. She had reached out to steady him multiple times, afraid that at some point he might just stumble right off the edge. 

They really needed to find shelter soon.

Her left hand was trailing along the rock next to her; the numb fingers only a small price for the steadiness it offered. Compared to her hurting ears Theo even considered it a welcome distraction. When they had started hiking in the morning, she hadn’t thought that her tired legs would be the least of her problems. 

Biting back a yawn, Theo forced herself to keep moving. This could only go on for so long. 

“Watch out!”

The call made Theo take her eyes from Bilbos back, just in time to see… a giant?... throw a huge rock over their heads. Steadying herself against the side of the cliff she turned to see another giant behind them. 

Her mind was wiped blank of every complaint she had only a few second ago, all gone at the sight of yet another thing that should not exist. 

“Take cover!” Dwalins shout came just before rocks started raining down on them, making everyone cower against the cliffside. 

The clatter was enough to shake Theo out of her trance and make her realize how much trouble they were actually in. 

They had to get out of here. 

She wasn’t the only one to think so, they all started to move forwards the moment the rocks stopped falling, even Bilbo hurrying as fast as he could. 

However they didn’t make it very far before the ground started to shake underneath them. Bilbo froze in fear, trying to find hold where there wasn’t any. Theo couldn’t blame him; she had thrown herself against the rock in an attempt to steady herself.   
The deep rumble only intensified and when Theo looked up her heart sunk into her stomach. 

They were stuck right on a giant themselves.  
They were so fucked. 

Either oblivious or completely uncaring of those that were stuck on it, the giant moved to rise to its full height, readying itself to fight the others. 

Unable to do anything about it, all they could do was try to hold on to whatever they could. 

Which was a hard enough task given their circumstances.   
Every step the giant made vibrated through the stone and no matter how hard Theos hands tried to grab the small ledge, they kept slipping. 

Once more the crashing of rock against rock shook them to the bones, but when Theo looked up, she could see that a few of them had managed to get off the giant and find relative safety on the path they had followed only minutes before. 

Now they stood there helplessly and watched as the rest of them was still stuck and desperate for a way to escape.   
Sending a quiet prayer to whoever was listening, Theo gripped onto the sleek stone and used all of her strength to keep herself where she was. It was the only thing she had any control over. 

When Bofur shouted a warning of the cliff that was rushing towards them, Theo almost missed it, the crashing of stone deafening them all.   
This was it. Either their saving grace or their death sentence. 

“Jump!”, someone yelled, and Theo didn’t need to be told twice. 

With every strength she had left in her legs she lunged herself at the ledge in front of them, hitting it hard. Rock smashed against rock and not knowing what might come down on them, Theo covered her head underneath her arms and stayed on the ground.

Only when the noise grew more distant, she dared to look up, finding herself in between Bofur and Bifur. It took her a few seconds to realize there was someone shouting through the storm and a moment later Thorin appeared on the path, a relieved smile on his face when he saw them. While the others made their way towards them Theo scrambled to her knees, trying to find her bearings. Her whole right side hurt from the impact, but given the fact that she was still in one piece was enough for her. 

When Bifurs hand appeared in front of her face, Theo gladly accepted his help to pull her up onto her legs. Only now she realized that there had been six of them on that bloody giant, Fíli and Bofur currently trying to help up Bombur.   
They all seemed to be alright, all but… 

“Where’s Bilbo?”, she asked Bifur loudly, hoping he would understand her. 

“Bilbo?”, he repeated, and Theo nodded. He had to be somewhere. 

Both looked around, failing to spot him. Giving up, Theo moved on to Bofur to ask him the same question. “Bilbo? He was just right behind…” his voice trailed off when he realized Bilbo wasn’t with them on the ledge. With wide eyes his head moved to the precipice, letting out a shout when he noticed the hands searching for something to hold onto. 

“There!”

He hurried towards the spot, reaching out for Bilbo, but failing to pull him up, gravitation working against him.   
Theo tried to get there to help him, but Thorin was faster.   
Without hesitation he climbed down himself, helping Bilbo up until he managed to scramble over the ledge onto safe ground. 

The poor hobbit looked exhausted as he supported himself on his knees.   
He said something to Thorin that Theo couldn’t hear through the storm. What she was able to do was reading Thorins face, which was a cold facade, although for a moment she could have sworn there was something like worry in his eyes. 

With the knowledge of Bilbo being safe, Theo took a breath to calm herself down. Her heart was still beating wildly in her chest; however, she could feel the adrenaline slowly leaving her system. 

Supporting herself against the rock, her eyes wandered over their battered group until they found Fílis, who was currently being pulled into a bearhug by Kíli. She grinned at him over Kílis shoulder, relived to see he was alright. He returned her grin in an instant, and although he looked just as beaten as the rest of them, it managed to lighten up the dark night as far as she was concerned. 

Pulling herself away from the sight, she turned to follow the others down the path, the lopsided smile still on her lips. Her right shoulder and elbow hurt like a bitch and her whole body was tired and cold, but she couldn’t stop that stupid smile. She truly was a moron. 

Either that, or the thin mountain air finally caught up to her. 

No, it was probably the former. 

Although neither the wind nor the rain let up, it seemed their luck had found its way back to them. Not even an hour later Bofur found the entry to a small cave, which was unoccupied and offered them the shelter none of them had expected at this point. Drenched, battered and tired they had finally made it. 

Inside the dark cave Theo simply dropped down to the ground, not even taking the time to set down the bags she carried. When she started rub her ears in a poor attempt to warm them up, Fíli and Kíli found themselves a spot next to her. She hardly even looked up, more focused on her hurting ears. 

“You look like a drenched dog.”, Kíli told her, clearly tired, but still grinning. “Like you look any better.”, she bit back, although she wouldn’t really care if he told her straight up that she looked like shit. All she cared about was sleep. If she didn’t know that she would regret it in the morning, she’d just skip dinner and go straight to sleep. 

Only a moment later Bofur made his round towards them, holding out dried meat. “Eat up, there’s nothing else tonight.” All three took what he offered them without complaints, although none of them looked excited. 

“What a day.”, Fíli said, before taking a bite of the dried meat. “I don’t think anybody had bet on giants.”   
“No, I don’t think so.”, Kíli agreed with his brother, while Theo just looked at them confused.   
“What do you mean?” 

The brothers looked at her with their eyebrows raised. “Did someone bet on them? Who?”, Kíli asked, misunderstanding her confusion. 

“I don’t know. What bet are you even talking about?”, she tried to explain and by the surprised look on their faces, she must have managed to do so. 

“You don’t know about the bet?” Theo shook her head at Fílis question.

“Really? Oh shit, you have to get in on it.”, Kíli told her in excitement, while Fíli was the one to explain.   
“Before we left the Ered Luin all of us bet on what we might encounter on this journey.” He paused for a moment. “Well, before we make it to the dragon.” 

“Everybody gets three guesses and for every right guess, the others have to pay you a hundred pieces of gold after we’ve reclaimed Erebor.”, Kíli continued. “But you can’t pick anything that we’ve already seen, that’d be unfair.” 

Theo took a bite of the dried meat and chewed on it while she thought about it. 

“Okay, I’ll go with a talking donkey.” She shared a grin with Fíli as she said so, thinking of the night she had told him about Shrek. 

“A talking donkey? Where are we supposed to find a talking donkey?” Theo only shrugged her shoulders and turned her head towards Kíli.   
“I don’t know, maybe you’ll find one when you look into a mirror.”

She laughed when he hit her against the shoulder. 

“A talking donkey, a T-Rex and… I don’t know, Jon Bon Jovi. That are my picks.” 

Her words caused the brother to look at each other in confusion, but Theo didn’t care.   
These picks were as good as any others. 

As far as she was concerned, there truly was nothing that didn’t exist here, so there might just be a chance of attending a Jon Bon Jovi concert. 

If anybody deserved that, it would be them.   
_________________________________________________________________________

Shouting pulled Theo out of her slumber, but she only had a moment to gather her senses before she felt herself slipping over the ground only to plunge into darkness. 

She didn’t fall far, before she hit the ground hard, which caused her to groan in pain. 

However it didn’t stop there, she continued to slide over hard and uneven stone, until she fell once again.   
The air got knocked out of her lungs when she hit the floor and for a moment Theo was unable to gather any sense of orientation. Just when she tried to get up, someone landed on top of her; a boot hitting her hard in the back and causing her to grunt once more. 

Unable to see beyond the uneven wooden ground, lightened up by the dancing light of flares, Theo failed to understand what had happened. There was a lot of yelling, crude and twisted; a language strange to her. 

In an attempt to get herself in a better position for whatever this was, Theo started crawling out underneath whoever was on top of her.   
The old and broken wooden floor scratched at her hands, but she didn’t give it much attention.   
What was a splinter compared to the bruises that undoubtfully ornamented her whole body? 

Finally able to get onto her knees, Theo tried to find her bearings of the dark cave they had found themselves in, but when a freakish mutant jumped in front of her, she froze. 

It grabbed for her hair, twisting its hand deep into it and pulling her forwards with force. 

The pain erupting was enough to shake Theo out of her shock and without thinking her hands reached for the creatures’ throat, before she threw herself on top of it. With as much force as she could muster in her limited space, she knocked its head against the floor beneath them and after a moment she could feel the grip in her hair loosen. 

Instead, the mutants’ hands grabbed her own and dug its long fingernails deep into her skin.   
Ignoring the pain, Theo hit its head against the wood again, but before she could do so a third time, someone pulled her back harshly by her shoulder and she found herself in the middle of the others. 

More mutants kept swarming at them from all sides, too many to fight them off. 

They were forced to move forwards, down a shaking bridge which was surrounded by nothing but darkness and right into something that could only be described a maze. Even given the chance to go back, Theo knew that she would not be able to find her way out of the tunnels. 

But with the rough hands that kept pushing and pulling from all sides, there was no thought wasted on thinking of an escape. All Theo managed to keep track of, was Dwalin walking in front of her. 

The noise around them was as deafening as the giants had been, the mutants yelling and singing in that twisted language of theirs. She tried to resist them a few times, but there were just too many of them for her to actually be successful. Whenever she shoved one away, there was another taking its place. 

Theo had no idea how much time had passed when they finally left the tunnels and entered a huge cave. Her heart fell when she saw hundreds of mutants climbing the walls, all laughing and singing in that crude language. 

How the bloody hell were they supposed to get out of this?

Dwalins back obscured her view of the most, but when they were ushered to a stop Theo managed to catch a glimpse of a huge freakish mutant that was wearing a broken crown and holding a large staff.   
She tried to see more, but when she tried to get on her toes, a hand pushed her to the ground and out of sight without warning. 

Another curse right on her lips, Theo tried to get back up, unsuccessfully. The hand only moved to her head and kept pushing downwards. 

Theo stopped resisting and looked up to find Fíli standing next to her, his hand firm on her head to keep her where she was. When he noticed her stare, he shook his head slightly, before turning his attention forwards to where the big mutant was. 

Taking a deep breath, Theo stayed where she was cowering on the ground, trying to get a grasp of the situation they were caught in. 

She didn’t know what Fíli was trying to achieve by keeping her out of sight, but she figured he knew what he was doing. At least she hoped so. 

Because this was bad.   
Very bad. 

Out of everything that had happened so far, nothing had scared her as badly as this. No matter how she turned it, there was no way out of this. They couldn’t fight, they couldn’t run, they couldn’t hide…   
There was no way out. 

And the fact that these mutants reminded her of the crawlers in that damned cave horror movie didn’t help to put her mind at ease.   
She hated that movie. 

Suddenly something poked against her shoulder and when Theo turned her head, she saw Fíli holding out a knife towards her. She nearly yanked it out of his hand, glad to have something to defend herself, even if it would not bring her very far. 

Her sword might as well be on the moon, she had no idea where it had ended up. It might very well still be in the cave where they had been sleeping. But even if she managed to kill one or two of those freaks, there would be five more to tear her apart within seconds. 

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” She might not be able to see it, but Theo guessed that it must be the large mutant who was talking. Judging by the broken crown seated on his massive head, he must have been their king or something of that sort. 

“Thieves.”, someone answered and the shouting increased to an almost deafening volume. “They were right at the front door, ready to break in and steal everything.”

The fuck? They clearly had some sort of oxygen deficiency that made them fucking stupid. 

“Thieves? Who dares breaking into my kingdom?”, the loud voice boomed, startling Theo once more. 

“We are no thieves; we are just merchants on our way to the iron hills.” While many members of their company were simply shouting insults at the mutants, Balin apparently managed to keep a clear head. How he did that, Theo didn’t know, every fibre of her body told her to run as fast as possible. Or maybe get a machine gun and send these creepy motherfuckers to hell. 

“Lies! They tell nothing but lies!” 

“Merchants huh? Then why do you break into my kingdom?”, the king demanded to know, his twisted mind convinced that they had actually done so. Or maybe he just enjoyed to fuck with them. 

“We didn’t know this cave was occupied. We were merely trying to find shelter from the storm.”, Balin continued to argue, but it seemed helpless. The mutants refused to listen. 

“It seems they continue to lie.”, the king shouted to the other mutants. “I suppose there is only one way to make them tell the truth. We’ll have to torture them.” 

Theos heart stopped at that announcement, while a thunder of screams echoed through the cave, swallowing any other sound. The scenes of every horror movie she had ever seen flashed through her mind and an icy shiver ran down her back. 

“Start with the youngest!”  
Fílis hand returned to her head, prepared to keep her down and suddenly Theo realized what he was trying to do. He kept her out of sight, so they wouldn’t start hurting her. 

She bit her lip when she came to the conclusion that she wouldn’t be able to escape that fate forever. There was no way out of this cave. They would die here. 

“Stop!” 

Thorins voice cut through the yells and even from her position Theo could see him make his way to the front of their company. 

“Leave them, talk to me.”, he demanded from the mutant king, who quieted down a moment later. 

“My, my… Let’s see who we have here. Thorin Oakenshield, right in our midst.”, the mutant announced, apparently knowing exactly who Thorin was. 

“There is someone who would pay a great price for that head of yours. Body attached or not.”   
Unable to do anything else, Theo simply listened to their words. It was either that or thinking about how attractive the knife in her hand suddenly looked like. She never thought she would contemplate suicide in a mutant cave at the prospect of torture, but here she was. 

“An old friend of yours. A pale orc.” 

“Azog the defiler is dead. He died a long time ago.”, Thorin argued, but the mutant only laughed.   
“If that is what you’d like to think.” There was a sound of aching wood as the mutant shifted. “Go! Tell the pale orc who we have found.” 

There were more laughs and yells, which caused Theo to grip the knife even tighter. Would it be less painful to cut her wrists or her throat? Maybe Fíli would do it if she asked him nicely. 

Suddenly there was loud screeching coming from the front, startling Theo so much she reached for the nearest thing to hold onto. Which happened to be Fílis coat. If he noticed her grip, he didn’t show. His attention was firmly placed to the front. 

“Kill them all!”

Theos heart lurched forwards, as she heard the mutants falling in on them, trying to tear them apart.   
The knife tight in her hand, Theo waited for something to grab her, knowing that she only had seconds before it would actually happen. 

It came as a strong hand that grabbed her ankle and yanked her foot out underneath her, causing her to hit the ground once more. As she was dragged over the ground towards the freak, Theo rolled onto her back, facing the creature that had gotten hold of her. She might have to die here, but she would take as many of them with her as she could.

When she was close enough to the mutant to reach its head, she raised her free leg and kicked it right in the face. It let out a yell, but it didn’t let go of her foot.   
Gripping Fílis knife hard, Theo raised her upper body and buried the blade in the arm that held onto her. 

Warm blood seeped out of the wound at once, and with a strangled scream the freak let finally go. 

Theo didn’t stop to let herself think about what she had just done, instead she pulled the knife free, only to throw herself on top of the mutant and bury it once more in its neck. 

More blood coated her fingers, making her stomach turn, but when the mutants bloody hands reached for hers in a hopeless attempt to fight her, she yanked herself backwards. 

Her eyes were still set on the bleeding creature on the ground, when another threw itself on her. 

It scratched its rough fingernails at her face and trapped underneath it, Theo failed to find enough space to defend herself. Unable to do anything else she whipped up her head and smashed it right against the mutant’s nose.   
However that only gave her a moment to breath before its hands found her throat, strangling her with force. 

Theo gasped for air desperately, still unable to really free her hands. The knife was trapped in an angle that didn’t allow her to free it, her wrist twisted painfully underneath the freak. 

Black dots started to cloud her vision and everything moved to a far distance. Only the twisted face above her remained. 

She kept trying to breath, but the grip on her throat didn’t allow any air to pass.

Just when her eyelids started to flatter, her body slowly failing to do anything, a blinding light filled the cave.

At once the pressure on her neck was gone and Theo gasped for a painful breath.   
Her throat burned at what she did, but that didn’t stop her from continuing to do so. 

She felt her strength returning slowly and without a wasted thought on her twisted wrist, Theo pushed the stunned mutant off her. 

“Run! Grab your weapons and run!”

Gandalf. 

At the recognition of the voice, Theo took another deep breath, right as someone pulled her up from the ground.  
Only when she was pulled forwards, she realized that it was Fíli, his hand firm on her arm. 

She followed him without hesitation and they only stopped for a moment to grab their weapons from a heap on the ground. Theo hurried to throw the sheath of her sword over her shoulder, all while they followed Gandalfs’ light through the cave. 

For now it blinded the mutants, however it already faded slightly, and while that made it easier for them to find their path, it also meant that their head start wouldn’t last for much longer. 

Just when they left the large cave and entered the smaller tunnels, it finally happened.   
The light flickered a few times, before it went dark and left them with the few flares that sporadically lightened up the tunnels. 

In an instant the mutants started to crawl out of the darkness and fell over them. 

Theo pushed Fílis knife carelessly into the pocket of her coat and drew her sword. She tried to shove them out of her way with her shoulder and arm the best she could, but when a hand reached for her braid, she didn’t waste any time to think and twirled around with her sword raised up high. 

The sharp blade went through the skin and flesh easily, leaving a large gash in its path, and causing the freak to let out a strangled cry.   
It seemed too easy, the way the sword cut through everything in its path.   
It should take more effort to hurt someone that way. 

Turning back to follow her companions, Theo shoved those thoughts to the back of her mind. There was time to think about this later, assumed she would live long enough to see later. 

They kept running through the tunnels, over aching bridges that crossed endless darkness and worn-out stairs that creaked with every step. 

In a way Theo felt like her body switched to auto pilot.   
She found it easiest to push the creatures out of the way, not caring if they fell down into the darkness. But when one of them was too strong, she didn’t hesitate to use the sword. 

She might not be the greatest swordsman that ever lived, but she knew enough to hurt them. 

Although it wasn’t really knowledge what made her move forwards, it felt like instinct. 

When Nori came to a sudden halt in front of her, Theo nearly crashed into him, distracted by the mutant king jumping down from a ledge onto the creaking bridge they were about to cross.   
It blocked their way to safety effectively, the mass of its body more than enough to make passage impossible. 

“You! Goblin-killers, all of you!”, it yelled at them in its twisted voice. “You will suffer endlessly; you will beg for your deaths!” 

Not caring for its words, Theo threw a look over her shoulder, her heart sinking at the view of a horde of mutants catching up to them.   
They had lost their head start in a single moment. 

“It looks like you’ve run out of ideas. What will you do now?” 

A sudden and strangled cry made Theo whip her head back around. Her eyes widened when she saw the freak trying to hold onto its guts that were spilling out of its stomach. Gandalf on the other hand stood unmoved with his sword raised up high, the blade coated with thick blood. 

For a moment the mutant swayed, but then it fell over and crashed face down onto the bridge.

At the impact the support beams of the bridge let out a last cry for help, before they gave in completely and took them down into the darkness. 

For a moment Theo tumbled on the tilting bridge, before she let herself fall to her knees and held on for any support she could find. The crashing and scratching of wood against stone was deafening, and the howls of the mutants made it only worse. 

Part of her wanted to scream, but any sound was stuck in her throat as they fell once again.

How long they plunged into the depths, Theo couldn’t tell, however when they finally came to a stop, it was a rough one. 

The impact shook her hard and for a moment she struggled to fight for air. If she ever saw the light of day again, she would be green and blue all over. But if it meant that she would live to see that happen; she would not complain. 

As she struggled onto her legs, she took a look around for the others.   
They were all groaning and complaining, but ice hockey had taught her long ago that complaining was a good sign. 

“Get up! They won’t be far behind.”, Thorins voice cut through the darkness and Theo bit down a curse as she stood up. She must have hit her knee pretty hard, but it would have to do. 

The screeches that echoed through the cave assured her in her assessment. It would do. 

Once again Gandalf led them through the darkness, and soon they were able to spot a small spot of light in the distance.   
That alone gave Theo another burst of strength, and she continued to push her body through the pain. 

She couldn’t believe that they might actually manage to get out of this huge pile of shit that they somehow had gotten themselves into. 

It took a few more minutes, but in the end, they passed through a small opening and found themselves in a dark forest. The first draw of fresh air was the most beautiful thing Theo had ever smelled. Only with the comparison, she truly realized how flat and sick the air in that cave had been. 

They didn’t stop though, they continued to run through the night; putting more and more distance between themselves and the freaks that were after them. 

Only when Gandalf and Thorin stopped, they all came to a halt, desperate to catch their breaths. 

Theo leaned against a tree, her heart pounding hard. They had made it out. They had actually made it out of there.   
She still didn’t understand how exactly they had turned up in that cave in the first place, but with their incredible stupid luck they had made it out of there. 

And as far as Theo could tell they had managed to do so without any fatal injuries. 

“What even are those fucking things?”, she asked Kíli and Fíli when she had regained her breath, her voice scratchier than she had expected. Her throat still burned with every ragged breath she took, but she hadn’t anticipated the voice. 

“Goblins.”, Kíli told her, while Fíli looked her down, his eyes stopping at her bloodied hands. “Have you never seen any Goblins before?”   
“Apart from you, no.”

Kíli shoved her lightly against the shoulder, while Fíli chuckled.   
“Are you okay?”, he asked her, a relieved smile spreading on his lips when she nodded, although the seriousness in his eyes remained. 

“Where is Bilbo?” At Gandalfs erratic shout the three of the looked up, searching for the hobbit. 

“Where is he?”, Gandalf asked them again, when they all failed to find him.   
Theo couldn’t even tell when she had last seen him, it might actually have been back when she went to sleep. 

“He’s gone.”, Thorin stated, making everybody turn towards him. “He saw his chance and left to return home.” 

Theos brows furrowed. Was this true? Would he really have left without telling them?   
She thought back to the last few weeks, to the way Bilbo had acted. Yes, he missed his home and had complained at great lengths about how hard their journey was, but he hadn’t been completely unhappy. At least not as far as Theo was able to tell. 

“He’s not made out for this, he made the right decision.”, Thorin continued, while everybody else stayed quiet. 

“I’m not.”

At the sound of the familiar voice, they all turned around, only to find Bilbo standing a little way up the slope. He looked a little worse for wear, but so did they all. 

“I thought about leaving, yes. But I couldn’t do it.”, he admitted, and for a moment there was shame on his face, however it quickly disappeared. “I do want to return home, I miss it every day.” 

Bilbo paused and took a moment to look at them, his eyes wandering over each and every one of them. “But that’s exactly the reason why I can’t leave.” He seemed to struggle to find the right words, but he continued to explain anyways.   
“You don’t have a home. None of you do. And that’s why I want to help you reclaim it.”

Silence.   
That was all his words were met with. 

Theo could only talk for herself, but she certainly hadn’t expected that. And she guessed that none on the others did either.   
In a way it hurt; the way he had bluntly pointed out how lost they all were. But at the same time, she felt touched.   
He willingly left his home behind to help them in a crazy attempt to find a home for themselves. 

The howl of a wolf broke the silence before anyone could say anything and only seconds later more howls joined the first. 

“Wargs.”, Dwalin stated, moving into action at once.   
It didn’t take the others long to follow suit, Bilbos words not forgotten, but pushed back for now.   
They had more immediate things to worry about. 

“That’s too many, we have to leave. Now.”

Thorin didn’t have to say more, and within seconds they were all running down the slope again. 

Theos heart beat hard, the shock and fear of the goblin cave still in the back of her mind. By the way this night was going, she wouldn’t be surprised if they found fucking Godzilla next. 

The loose forest floor didn’t make it easy for them to escape the wargs, at some points they were slithering down the hill more than anything.   
And while they were slowed down, the howls of the wargs grew closer and closer. 

Jumping over a fallen tree log, Theo cursed everything in this whole fucking world.   
She couldn’t believe they had made it out of the cave only to be killed by wargs the moment they thought they were safe. 

“The trees! Get up in the trees!”, Gandalf shouted at them suddenly, and a moment later Theo realized why. They were so fucking done.   
Who was stupid enough to run right towards a cliff?

Them of course. 

So, trees it would be. 

Not wasting any time to look behind herself, knowing by the sounds that she wouldn’t like what she would see, Theo pushed herself off the ground and up at the lowest branch of the closest pine tree. 

Branches were scratching against her face, but Theo didn’t care, she just kept climbing upwards. If she had to, she would climb all the way to the very top.

She was just about to reach for the next branch above her, when the whole tree shook, making her nearly lose her balance. The loud growl made it unnecessary to look down, but Theo couldn’t help herself from doing so anyways. 

The universe was really trying to fuck with them tonight. 

Maybe that huge fucking warg would run away if she threw up on it. It might just be worth to give it a try. 

As she pulled herself higher, she looked down at the pack of wargs on the ground.   
Of course there had to be orcs too. It wasn’t like giants, goblins and wargs were enough. A couple of orcs were just like the little cherry on top. 

Theo wasn’t sure whether it was the lack of sleep, the desperation or the fear that made her so frustrated, but it certainly made her want to scream. 

She couldn’t understand what they were talking about, but by the looks on their faces she didn’t need a translation. It sounded very much like death threats. 

But even with that knowledge it startled her when the wargs started leaping at them again. She desperately tried to hold onto the branch she was sitting on, while her brain ran through any imaginable way that this could turn out.   
All of them ending with them being mauled to death. 

She nearly lost her grip when a hard hit caused the tree to tilt. 

Panicked she watched as the ground moved closer, every thought wiped from her mind. 

She didn’t want to die. 

Not again. 

In a desperate attempt to safe herself she launched herself at the closest pine tree.   
Twigs were scratching against her face, but she didn’t care. The only thing that mattered was the branch she was able to grab. 

Her muscles groaned when she pulled herself up, protesting at the continued over usage of them. 

“Theo!” Breathing hard she looked up, just in time for Gandalf to throw a burning pinecone down to her. She nearly dropped it at the searing pain that shot through her hands, but she understood right away what Gandalfs plan was. Ignoring the pain, she ripped another cone from a close twig and set it on fire as well.

The others were already busy throwing the pinecones down at the wargs and she hurried to join them in their action. 

It felt good to throw something at them, to have some way to defend their selves. And as desperate as their act was, it actually worked. They wargs were fleeing from the fire, leaving only the shouting group of orcs and the wargs they were riding behind. 

They might just be able to find their way out of this. 

Just when Theo felt a small smile of hope appear on her lips, the pine tree jolted.   
Her heart dropped when she felt herself drop backwards into nothing; a silent scream stuck in her throat as she lost her grip.


	16. The escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays!
> 
> I actually managed to finish the next chapter as I promised, so I hope you'll enjoy it. 
> 
> Have a beautiful day, enjoy it the best you can under our circumstances!

Theo tried to fight the urge to look over her shoulder, dreading the distance to the ground below. 

With all the strength she had left she held onto the branch, her mind racing as fast as her panicked breath.   
Was it better to be eaten by a warg or to fall to your death?  
Theo couldn’t see a third option, but for now she refused to make a decision and let go.

If only she knew how the others fared.   
There was a lot of screaming around her, but with the wind and the creaking of the tree she wasn’t able to make out what exactly was happening. That she hung on all four limbs with her back to the ground didn’t help. 

Taking a deep breath, Theo closed her eyes for a moment. Her mind fought itself, arguing between calming down and a desperate nervous breakdown. 

It was almost frustrating to feel the rational part of her brain take over, but if she kept on fighting now, there might be time to break down later on.   
And it would be more comfortable to cry with solid ground underneath her feet. 

Making her choice, Theo took another deep breath before she opened her eyes again, forcing all thoughts of the wargs to the back of her mind and focusing on getting off the tree first. 

One step at a time. 

Biting back a groan Theo started to pull herself up, halting at once when she heard a crack of wood. For a moment she thought she would fall, but the ranting in Khuzdul next to her made her realize that it wasn’t her branch that was breaking. Looking to her right, Theo saw Balin struggling to reach another part of the tree while the wood of his branch was slowly splintering. 

He wouldn’t make it; he was too far from anything else to hold onto. 

“Balin, take my hand.” 

Theos heart beat wildly as she held out her arm towards him, not daring to question whether her own branch would hold the additional weight.   
Or whether she would be able to hold it. 

Balin seemed to have the same thought in mind when he looked over towards her, although when the wood snaped his survival instinct took over and he leaped for Theos hand. She let out a groan at the additional weight pulling her down, her grip on the tree tightening.   
“You fool, now we’re both stuck.”, Balin scolded her loudly and Theo had to admit that he wasn’t completely wrong. She just refused to think about it. 

“It’s okay, the others will get us.”, Theo answered, hoping she sounded more confident than she felt. While she had been successful to fight the urge to look down before, her new position forced her to look at the trees below and seeing how high they were dangling didn’t help.   
It didn’t help at all. 

“Where to?” Balin kept on turning his head in every direction, searching for anything else to hold onto, but there was nothing in sight. At least nothing that would support his weight. 

His grip on Theos arm was hard as iron, but with a sick feeling in her stomach she felt her own slipping. 

Everything else had moved far into distance.  
She could tell that there was still shouting and climbing on the tree around them, however her only thought was how to hold on to the branch and Balin at once. 

There was only one thing she could think of.   
And if Balin knew what she had in mind he would kill her. 

She shifted slightly and made sure to wrap her legs tightly around the branch, drawing another crack from the wood. All of her hope was on the others to find a way to get them off, once she would let go with her other hand, she would not be able to do anything but hold onto Balin.   
They would just have to hurry. 

Her breath was shaky as she made her decision. Balins own slipping grip only supported it. 

Without wasting any more time, not allowing herself to second guess her choice, she let go with her other hand, reaching for Balins arm as fast as she could. Now it was only her legs that stopped them from falling to their deaths. 

“What are you doing?” Balins face was furious, exactly how Theo had expected.   
“I’m not going to let you fall.”, she argued, ignoring the strain in her legs. She would never forgive herself for doing so, she’d rather die right here with him. 

“Well now we’re both going to fall.” Once again Balin searched for something else that he could hold onto, but like before he didn’t find anything. 

“You have to let me go.”

Theos eyes widened in disbelief when she heard his words. “I’m not going to do that!” 

“You have to, that branch won’t hold the both of us forever.”, Balin tried to reason with her, however Theo was having none of it. He was right, she could hear the cracking as well as he did, she just refused to let it sink in. 

“We either stay up together or we fall together, accept it.” 

“Has anybody ever told you that you’re stupid?”

In the middle of the chaos they were in, his words made them both laugh. “That might have been mentioned at one point or another.”, Theo told him, trying to ignore the increasing volume of the cracking. The branch was giving in and there was nothing they could to about it. 

“Well this was fun while it lasted.” Theo was desperate, neither wanting to accept what was coming, nor quite able to do so. She just hoped the others fared better than them. 

Balin had stopped searching for something else to hold onto and just looked at her face. “Just close your eyes, it will be over quickly.”, he tried to calm her down, maybe trying to calm himself at the same time. 

Not listening, Theo looked down at the trees.   
They would fall for quite a while in her opinion. Maybe they’d be lucky and the adrenalin would not let them feel the pain. And maybe dying wouldn’t be that bad the second time around. 

She forced down a lump in her throat, fighting back the urge to cry at what was inevitable going to happen. Tears wouldn’t change anything. 

Gravity had no mercy. 

“Gravity’s a b…” 

Theo didn’t get the chance to finish her sentence, the branch snapped without a warning and both of them dropped into nothing. 

Theo wanted to scream, however any sound she could make was stuck in her throat. She couldn’t close her eyes either, her whole body frozen. Only her hands stayed locked on Balins arm. 

She watched as the trees came closer and closer… until they didn’t.

With a heavy thud Balin and Theo crashed onto something simultaneously hard and soft, the impact sending a wave of pain through their already beaten-up bodies. 

Theo was breathing hard, trying to grasp what was happening. 

They were… flying. 

Lying on the back of a huge eagle they were soaring through the sky.  
She looked to Balin, quickly checking if he was okay, before she turned her head back towards the cliff.   
The fire was still raging and the tree still hung over the side of the cliff, but there were many more eagles flying around, throwing wargs and orcs down into nothing while picking up the other members of their company. 

“How is that possible?”, she asked Balin, not believing her eyes. 

They were safe.   
A moment ago they’d been about to die and now they were safe. 

“I suppose this is Gandalfs doing.”, the elderly dwarf answered, looking in the same direction. 

Unable to help their friends, they held onto the eagles feathers, watching the others while they were carried further and further away. “Do you think they are okay?”   
Theo couldn’t shake the dreadful feeling of someone getting hurt. The moment the tree had tipped over she had lost track of everything else.   
“I hope so.”

Balin started to make a headcount, but while it seemed they were all accounted for, both of them were very nervous to see Thorin moveless in the talons of one eagle. 

They heard Fíli call out for Thorin, however there was no reaction at all. 

Even from their distance Theo could tell how upset Fíli and Kíli were and while she was incredibly happy and relieved to see them alive, something inside her broke at their desperation.   
She couldn’t bear the thought of them losing someone so close to them. 

But as the eagles carried them east towards the slowly rising sun, they could only sit and wait for what was going happen. 

Under other circumstances she would have loved this flight; to look down at the world passing by underneath them and feel the wind around her face.

And now? Now her stomach was nothing but a nervous mess. 

Balin didn’t fare much better. Both were too tense to talk, just waiting to finally have ground underneath their feet again so they could do something. 

The eagles carried them far, over endless forests and grasslands, until they started circling a large boulder. Thorin was the first they dropped off, leaving him moveless on the ground. One after one the eagles set them down, and everybody made its way to check on Thorin. 

By the time Balin and Theo were able to jump off the eagle with stiff and sore limbs, he had already fought himself to his feet, although he was swaying. “Where is he?”, he yelled, who he was searching for unclear to Theo. Tumbling slightly, Thorin pushed the arms that were trying to support him away and made his way through the crowd until he stopped in front of Bilbo. 

“What have you done?”, he shouted at the hobbit, causing him to jump and take a step back. “Have I not said that you are not made for this life? That you would only slow us down and put others in danger?” 

Theo had no idea what had happened for Thorin to be this angry at Bilbo, but it must have been bad.   
Thorin was livid, while Bilbo looked like he would rather go back into the goblin cave than be here. 

“I have never been so wrong in my life. Will you be able to forgive me?”

Bilbos mouth fell open, an expression of complete disbelief on his face. For a moment they simply stared at each other, neither of them speaking nor moving.   
“There’s nothing to forgive.” 

The moment the words left Bilbos lips, Thorin pulled him into a tight hug.

Still clueless as to what was going on, Theo shared a look with Balin, but he just shrugged his shoulders with a relived smile on his face and turned away to find Dwalin.

With a small shake of her head Theo looked back towards Thorin and Bilbo. Thorin had let go of the shorter hobbit, but they were still talking; one of Thorins hands placed firmly on Bilbos shoulder. 

What on earth had she missed?

Lost in confusion she didn’t even notice Fíli and Kíli make their ways towards her until Kíli put an arm around her shoulders. 

“I must say, you are really hard to get rid of.”

Kílis words made Theo let out a laugh. “I’m sorry to disappoint you.”, she told him, thankful for his joke. I felt good to laugh, even if her throat still hurt. 

“Are you okay?”

She looked from Kíli to his older brother. Fílis hair was ruffled and he had deep shadows underneath his eyes, but other than that he looked not much worse for wear. Which lifted a weight from her chest she hadn’t even known to be there. 

“Better than you by the sound of it.”, he answered, eyeing her neck worried. “Does it hurt?” 

Theo was quick to shake her head, not wanting them to fuss about her. “I’ll survive.”   
They shouldn’t have to worry about her incompetence to keep up. 

Fíli didn’t seem completely convinced, but before he could say anything else, she hurried to change the topic. “What happened up there?”, she asked, nodding in Thorins and Bilbos direction. 

“You didn’t see it?” 

Theo turned to look at Kílis unbelieving face and shook her head. “Balin and I were sort of stuck on that tree.” A slight understatement, but what did it matter under their circumstances. 

“To give you the short version, Bilbo put himself in between Thorin and Azog to safe his live.”, Fíli told her, making Theo turn back towards him. His eyes were still set on her neck, but he didn’t comment on it anymore. 

“Are you serious?”

“You should have seen it! This tiny hobbit just standing in front of a huge orc.” Kíli was really excited about it. “If I hadn’t seen it myself, I wouldn’t believe it.” 

“I get the feeling.” Theos mind was trying to catch up, to place the name they used.   
Azog.   
She had heard it before, in one of the stories they told each other at night. 

“Isn’t Azog supposed to be dead?” 

Trying to remember, Theo tilted her head slightly, convinced that someone had killed him, but unsure under which circumstances. She was too tired to remember. 

“Turns out, he just lost an arm.”, Kíli enlightened her, wiggling one of his hands in front of Theos face. “And he’s bloody mad about it.” 

While Kíli didn’t seem too worried about that fact, Fíli let out a tried sigh.   
“Because uncle needs another enemy that is out to get him.”

**********************************************************************************************************

With a deep breath of air, Theo ripped open her eyes. 

For a long moment she didn’t know where she was, unable to understand why there were trees around her instead of hard stone and dark crevices. It took a while for the mist to lift, allowing her to remember their escape and how they had made their way into this forest. 

But even with the knowledge of the danger gone, Theos chest was heaving hard, her mind unable to shake the images of her dream. 

Her fingers twitched involuntarily when she remembered the feeling of warm blood spilling over them. 

Biting down hard on her lip she raised her hand to look at it; to look at the dried blood that still covered her skin.   
Her throat constricted at the sight.

In the light of the flickering campfire it looked almost black.   
And it felt like it burned right into her skin. 

Once more she thought of the way it had felt to bury the knife in the goblins neck.   
How easily it had cut through the skin and everything below. How warm the blood had been when it spilled over her hand. 

“Hey.”

A hand wrapped around hers, holding her shaking fingers in place. 

Startled by the action she whipped her head to her right, only to find Fíli looking at her, a concerned expression on his face. It made her feel ashamed, like she’d been caught doing something wrong. 

“Just breathe.”, he told her, his hand holding on even tighter to hers. 

At his words she almost let out a laugh, but all that she got out was a chocked huff. She let her head fall back against the forest floor and closed her eyes, trying to do as Fíli said and calm her breath. 

It took her a while, the pictures in her head ever present and reminding her of what she’d done. 

“It’s too easy.”, she whispered once she finally calmed herself enough to get out the words, her eyes still closed. “It shouldn’t be so easy.” 

“No. It shouldn’t be.”

This confession made Theo return her eyes towards Fíli. 

A sad look was on his face, his eyes trained right on her.   
“You did what you had to.”, he told her in a hushed voice, his hand still holding hers firmly. “This doesn’t make you a bad person.” 

Her mind told her that Fíli was right, but it couldn’t convince her feelings.   
She had killed that goblin. Probably a few others as well. 

Unable to ignore the fact any longer, doubts and shame washed over her and she felt as if she was drowning in them. 

“Does it get better?”, she asked him, her voice barely audible. There were only handful of times she had needed and dreaded an answer as badly as she did now. 

Fíli pulled his lips into a thin line and the grip on her hand tightened. 

“No. You just learn to live with it.” 

Swallowing hard, Theo nodded. It wasn’t the answer she wanted to hear, but at least Fíli was honest. And that was what she needed. Whether she liked it or not. 

“Try to sleep. We have a long day ahead of us.”

Once more Theo nodded, she knew he was right. Under their circumstances even nightmares would be better than another sleepless night. 

“Thank you.”, she told him, feeling bad for keeping him awake when he needed to rest just as much as anyone else.   
“Don’t worry about it.”   
Fíli smiled at her, gently forcing her hand down to rest on her stomach, although he didn’t let it go. 

“Just try to get some rest.”

Without any objection she closed her eyes and tried too even out her breath, glad for Fílis presence. 

“If it helps, you did really good back there.”

Her first instinct was to tell Fíli otherwise, thinking of how scared she had been the whole time. However when Theo opened her mouth she decided against it. She had kept him up long enough, and it was over now anyways. There was no point to dwell on it any longer. 

So she gave Fílis hand a light squeeze instead.

“I guess I had a good teacher.”


	17. The rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody!
> 
> I've received some very well meant critic for this chapter, so I decided to do a small rewrite. 
> 
> The overall story remains the same, however I changed the treatment of Thorins and Theos wounds.  
> I actually like this version a little better than the old chapter, maybe you will to ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> If you don't want to read the whole thing again, you can start at their arrival at Beorns house, up until then the chapter remains the same :)
> 
> And now I just want to thank all of you for your continued support!  
> I really keeps me motivated to continue this story and every kudos and comment puts a big smile on my face!  
> Thank you!

Her lungs were burning. 

Theo could manage the sore and tired legs, but she didn’t know how long she would be able to go on before she was going to choke. 

If it wasn’t for the howls behind them, she would have stopped long ago. 

“Stop!”

Balins shout made them all come to a tumbling stop. 

Gasping for air, Theo bowed forwards and supported herself on her knees. For once she was glad for her empty stomach, otherwise she would throw up right now. 

“I told you I’m fine!” 

The sound of Thorins voice made her lift her head and look towards the front of their group.   
Leaning against a tree for support, he looked worse than anyone else of them. His pale face was sweaty and if you were to look closely, you could tell that his fingers were shaking. Whatever was going on with the bite wound on his leg was getting worse rapidly. 

“We can’t go on like this uncle. They are running us down.”

Thorins head snapped up at Fílis harsh words and he glared murderously at his nephew.   
If the look affected Fíli, he didn’t let it show. He kept his chin held high and his hands calm. 

“What would you have us do? Wait for them to come and slaughter us?”, Thorin asked, the vein on his forehead pulsating. 

“I say we split up. Those who are able to, stay back and fight, while the others go and find this friend Gandalf spoke of.” 

“We don’t even know how many of them are after us.”, Thorin kept arguing, ignoring Kílis hand that reached out to support him when he pushed himself off the tree. “Staying to fight could mean certain death!”

“At least it would give a few of us the chance to get out of this!”

Fíli kept his eyes firmly on his uncle, pure determination on his face. Although Theo could swear that she could see worry beyond it. 

“He’s right uncle. We have to try.”  
Sending a pleading look towards his uncle, Kíli stepped to his brothers side. “You can get the others to safety while we fight.” 

Thorin let out a frustrated huff and closed his eyes. 

“Whatever you decide, you have to do so fast. They’re nearly upon us.”, Gandalf spoke up as well, his eyes trained on the deep forest behind them.   
They had been hearing the howls for a long time now, but they were growing closer with every moment they stayed here. 

He was right.   
If they wanted to run, they had to do so now. 

“How much further until we reach this friend of yours Gandalf?”, Thorin asked, his face deeply furrowed.   
“It can’t be that far. We already are on his lands.” The wizard let his eyes wander over the trees around them. “I’m surprised we haven’t run into him yet.”

“Then we run. I won’t leave any of you behind to fend for themselves.”

Fíli and Kíli shared a frustrated look, however they didn’t say another word.   
This wasn’t their uncle making a decision, it was their king. They had to respect his choice, whether they liked it or not. 

“Let’s go.” 

Theo took a last deep breath before she straightened herself and followed Thorins lead to run further into the forest. 

It didn’t take long until the familiar stabbing at the left side of her lungs returned, the relief of their short break already fading.   
Swallowing hard, she forced herself to ignore the pain the best she could, but she was running on her last reserves and she knew the others weren’t faring much better. They had been running for their lives for far too long. 

She couldn’t help but wonder whether Fíli and Kíli had been right.   
They had been running for hours and it hadn’t done them any good. Thorin might mean well, but this couldn’t go on for much longer.   
It was time to face the enemy.  
No matter how hard and messy it would be. 

Her mind wandered back to the cliff; to the wargs trying to bring them down to the ground.   
To their large fangs.   
It would be very messy indeed. 

Suddenly a deafening roar ripped her out of her thoughts, drowning out every other sound in the forest and forcing them to come to a tumbling stop. 

“What was that?”, Bilbo was the first to find his voice again, while they all searched the thicket around them for the source of the noise. Even the wargs seemed to have stopped, for there were no howls to hear for the first time in what must have been hours. 

Breathing hard, Theo stared into the direction from where the sound had come from. Maybe the wargs weren’t their biggest concern after all. 

“That was Beorn.” Gandalfs voice was grave, considering that Beorn was supposed to be a friend of his. 

Another roar cut through the silence of the forest, making Theos heart jump. 

“Run.”, Gandalf shouted and urged them forwards, although the trample of large paws on the forest floor behind them was more than enough encouragement on its own. It seemed the wargs did not care for whatever was out there. 

Keeping her eyes straight forwards, Theo forced her feet to keep moving as fast as possible, a strange sense of déjà vu washing over her as she did so. 

This was just like when they had been chased towards Rivendell. Which seemed like a lifetime ago, not like the few months it had actually been. 

Her lungs had burned then just as badly as they did now. 

However they hadn’t heard the trample of paws on the ground back then. 

Theo didn’t dare to turn her head and look over her shoulder, although she didn’t even need to. Out of the corner of her eye she could see two grey shadows passing them by, cutting off their escape within seconds. 

Dwalin noticed too and didn’t hesitate to run towards them. “They’re here!”, he yelled a loud warning before smashing his axe right into a wargs head. 

Slithering to a stop, Theo reached for the hilt of the sword behind her shoulder, when something heavy hit her side and knocked her to the ground. 

Sharp claws dug into her right arm, although she only really felt the pain when they were ripped out again. Her throat constricted and she struggled to breathe, the hot pain pushing everything else to the back of her mind. She could see the dirty sleeve of her coat soak red, the warmth of her own blood making it stick to her skin. It made her wish that she would just pass the fuck out, but she was glad for the fabric covering up the flesh underneath. 

If it wasn’t for another warg trampling right past her line of sight she would probably have stayed right where she was, not realizing what an easy target she made for their pursuers. 

But the sight of the large paws made her bite back the pain and push herself up onto her knees with a groan, trying to gather her bearings. 

The chaos around her made it impossible for her to completely orient herself, and once more she wished she would just pass out. Forcing her protesting hand to keep still, she pulled her sword out of its sheath. The heavy weapon in her hand gave her a small sense of security and without thinking it over she got up and moved towards the first warg she saw. 

Bifur was fighting it like a maniac, completely unfazed by the sharp teeth trying to get a hold of him, let alone the sheer size of the gigantic beast.

With its attention solely placed on Bifur, Theo saw her chance to blindside the warg and ignoring her protesting arm, she hacked her sword roughly into its hind leg. 

Her attack caused the beast to let out a painful howl and rip its head around towards her. 

Faced with the large teeth, Theos heart skipped a beat and only because her instinct took over, she managed to duck out of the wargs counterattack.

The hard snap of the wargs yaws clashing together where her head had been only seconds ago, shook her out of her shock and like Bifur had done before, she tried to slash her sword at the beats neck.

She missed her mark, however the warg howled in pain nonetheless. 

Bifur had used her distraction and buried his sword deep in the side of its chest, forcing the warg down to the ground. 

In this position it was an easy target, even for Theo, and while Bifur pulled out his sword with a sickening crunch, she managed to inflict a deep cut to its neck.   
With a last strangled cry the wargs eyes rolled back into its head and Theo let out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding.

Unlike her, Bifur wasn’t mulling it over and turned to run towards Bombur and Dori, who were fighting off another warg. 

Not wasting another moment to look down at the dead beast on the ground Theo took off after him, her feet trampling over the uneven ground. Only focused on reaching them, she almost crashed into another warg that leaped at her from the side.

Letting herself drop to the ground was what saved her and sent the warg flying over her head.   
Its claws dug deep into the forest ground as it landed and within seconds it turned around, pacing towards her slowly. 

She hadn’t realized before how much the fight had forced them apart, but now that she was scrambling backwards from the warg it was painfully obvious.

With her sword miraculously still in her hand, she fought herself back onto her legs without taking her eyes of the warg.  
For a moment it seemed like it was just starring her down, then it lunged forwards without warning, giving her only the fragment of a second to hurl herself to the side. She didn’t even try to strike it; she was glad to get out of its reach. 

The snarl on the wargs face seemed almost like a mocking grin and not even giving her a second to breath it snapped its teeth at her tired and struggling arms.

Theo managed to pull them out of the way, although the movement only forced her back even further.

She didn’t dare to take her eyes off the warg, knowing that this would be a literal signature on her death certificate, but the knowledge of the other wargs body somewhere on the ground behind her scared her shitless.  
If she let herself be forced back just a little bit further, she would stumble over it. 

There was no way she was willing to go down like that. 

With her stubbornness taking over, she almost threw herself forwards and tried to land a hit on the wargs neck, remembering how Dwalin had once told her to try to attack the largest possible area. The larger the surface, the bigger the chance to cause harm.

The warg pulled back from her hit, causing her to miss and before she was able to bring her sword around again, it whipped its head forwards and snapped its teeth at her side.   
It was nothing short of a miracle that Theo managed to move her elbow in the way and hit its snout, resulting in her going to the ground but at least doing so unharmed.

A fresh wave of pain jolted through Theos arm and in a desperate attempt to defend herself she whipped up her leg to kick the underside of the wargs yaw, only to find it crying out in pain even before her foot connected with the bone.

The warg pulled back, giving her the chance to grab the sword she had dropped when she went down and strike at one of its legs. Another howl ruptured from the beasts throat as the leg gave in and Theo just barely managed to roll to the side when it snapped its yaw at her face.

A wave of fowl breath drifted over Theos face as it let out another strangled howl before it suddenly stopped moving.

She was still starring at the large teeth in front of her face when a strong hand wrapped around her wrist to pull her up as if she weighted nothing and suddenly she found herself face to face with Fíli.

“Are you okay?”, he asked her, his breathing ragged and heavy.

“Yes.” With her chest heaving just as rapidly she looked him down, searching for any injuries. Relief washed over her when she didn’t find any. “You?”

“Yes.”, he answered, eyeing her state as well.   
His eyes stopped at the blood soaked sleeve of her coat. Theo watched his yaw tighten, while his hand reached out for the wound, hovering slightly above it. 

“Can you fight?”

His voice sounded chocked as he asked the question. 

“Well enough.” 

The answer made his eyes return to her face, an almost apologizing look grazing his features. 

“Stay with me, don’t go off alone.”

Theo nodded at his words and after another moment of checking if she was alright Fíli turned back towards the fight.

Like he had told her to, Theo followed him right away towards another warg that was about to attack Oin and Gloin, intending to keep her promise to stay close. 

With both of his swords in his hands, Fíli jumped at the warg, almost throwing it out of its path with a heavy blow to the side. The beast pulled back, but Fíli didn’t stop to give it time to retaliate.   
Instead he stroke at it again, earning another loud howl of pain. 

Theo used the wargs attention on Fíli to get to its other side and while it growled at him, she slashed her sword deep through the weak area where its front leg merged into its body. 

She expected another cry of pain, but it was drowned out by a deafening roar behind her. It startled Theo so much she almost let go of her sword, her mind dreading what stood behind her. 

Unlike her, Fíli wasn’t fazed and used the moment to bring down the warg with a hard blow to its head. Only when it let out a last yelp, he looked up towards the trees at Theos back. Whatever he saw caused his eyes to widen and his body to set in motion again. 

Uncaring for the dead warg on the ground he leaped over it and placed himself in between her and the trees. Only now Theo turned, her throat constricting at the sight of a gigantic bear leaping towards them. 

She noticed how Fíli held out his left arm to hold her back, but there was no need for him to worry. There was no way she would try to attack this monstrosity of a bear. 

With every single movement of its muscles it came closer until it suddenly pushed itself off the ground, jumped at one of the wargs and took it down in a single movement.   
The warg wasn’t even able to make a sound, the bear ripping out it’s throat with a sickening crunch. 

It hurled the piece of flesh into the air before it let out another ear-splitting roar. 

Fíli and Theo were not the only ones to stare at the scene unmoving, it seemed all fighting had ceased at once. Only the bear itself was unstoppable and moved on to attack another warg. It didn’t even waste a glance at their group, but instead cut a path through the wargs that were attacking them. 

Had Fíli not grabbed her arm, Theo would probably have stayed and watched the bear take down the rest of the beasts, completely unaware of everything else. 

“Go.”, he told her, pointing with his sword in the opposite direction and when Theo followed the line of his sight, she found a large part of their company running in the opposite direction of the wargs, led by Gandalf. 

She almost did as she was told, but then her eyes returned to Fíli. The look on his face told her right away that he was intending to stay back and fight. “But…”

“Please go with them.”, he interrupted her, apparently quite aware of what was going on in her head. 

Although everything inside yelled at her to stay, she nodded.   
This was not the time to argue. 

“Don’t die.”, were the only words she replied before she turned and ran after the others. 

They had already disappeared in between the trees, so she hurried to catch up to them. She didn’t know if the bear was on its own, but in case it wasn’t, she didn’t want to face another like it alone. 

The sounds of fighting made her want to look over her shoulder numerous times, the fear of those left behind getting hurt clenching her stomach tightly.   
Only the silent promise she had given Fíli kept her running as fast as she could. A promise that ate her up from the inside. 

She wasn’t sure if she was too slow or if the head start was too big, but she struggled to catch up with those in front of her. Maybe her legs were finally giving in at the continued exertion.   
Fíli had been right to send her away, she would not have been able to fight for much longer. 

When she spotted an overgrown stone wall in the distance, Theo stopped for a moment, her breath ragged. This must be the home Gandalf had talked about. 

The thought of finally having reached safety lifted a weight of her stomach, but at the same time she felt the adrenaline that had kept her going leave her system. In its place nothing short of exhaustion was left behind. 

All she managed to do was stumble forwards, her eyes set on the stone wall and the wooden gate.

She was still fighting her way forwards, when someone called out her name from behind her, startling her badly by doing so. 

Tightening the grip on the sword in her hand she turned around, only to find Fíli and Kíli run towards her, their faces worried. 

She let out a relieved breath at the sight, even more so when she spotted Dwalin, Bifur and Nori a little further behind them. Bifur was steadying Nori, but other than that they all seemed unhurt. 

Ignoring the slight tingling in her hands, Theo stayed where she was and waited for the brothers to catch up with her.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”, Fíli asked her before he even came to a slithering stop. His face was deeply furrowed; however Theo didn’t understand what he was talking about. 

“What do you mean?”, she returned the question, completely oblivious to the reason that upset them. 

“The blood that’s soaking your coat?” Kíli didn’t look quite as worried as Fíli, but the deep furrow on his forehead made her feel guilty.   
Swallowing hard, Theo looked down at the wound. Her whole arm was throbbing in pain; not as sharp and hot as it had at first, but still enough to make her hand cramp around the hilt of her sword. 

“You said that you’re okay.”, Fíli scolded her in an almost angry tone. 

“I am okay, I hardly even feel it.”, she defended herself. She was useless enough as it was, she didn’t want them to worry about her. 

“Which makes this a lot better considering you barely manage to stumble forwards.” 

Fíli let out a sigh before he reached for her right hand and pried the sword out of her fingers. He held it out towards Kíli, who took it without complaint, and the hint of a slight smile on his lips. 

“I don’t want to hear a single word.” 

Theo wasn’t sure who these words were for, until he lifted her uninjured arm and set it around his shoulders, while simultaneously wrapping his own arm around her waist. 

“I can…”  
“I said I don’t want to hear anything.”, Fíli cut her off, making Theo blush and Kíli chuckle next to them. 

He either was oblivious to how embarrassed she was or didn’t care, he just tightened his hold on her waist and arm and started to pull her along. 

“But it’s not…”   
“If you say another word, I will throw you over my shoulder.”, he stopped her midsentence, his tone telling her that he would not hesitate to do just that. 

So Theo bit back any other complaints that lay on the tip of her tongue and let him pull her towards the stone wall, cursing Kílis chuckles that accompanied them.   
Although she had to admit that her tired legs appreciated the support. Not that she would tell Fíli. 

They closed the remaining distance to the wall a lot faster than Theo would have done on her own. There they slowed down for a moment, taking in the sight of a large farm house with relief. It looked so peaceful it might just be out of a book for children. 

That was until a strangled cry of Khuzdul echoed through the air. 

“Thorin.”

Theo watched as Fíli and Kíli exchanged a worried look, before Kíli bolted towards the house, Fíli close behind, pulling her along once more. 

More Khuzdul greeted them when they passed the threshold and Theo didn’t need a translation to know that it was cursing. Thorins tone was more than clear. 

Unbothered by her weight, Fíli quickly found his way towards a bench in the kitchen area.   
Held down at his shoulders by Dori, Thorin lay across it, while Oin examinated his leg. A wargs teeth had left rough holes in the skin and the smell of festering flesh filled the air around him.

It was a miracle that he had made it this far on that leg; Theo had never seen anything that disgusting. She only managed to tear her eyes away when she felt Fílis hands tightening their grip on her, finding a desperate expression on his face. 

“Go find some alcohol! I need to clean out this wound!”, Oin shouted commands at them, ignoring Thorins cursing and prodding the tender flesh. 

“See if there is any chamomile or maybe hypericum! And get me some clean bandages!”

Oins words managed to rip Fíli out of his trance and a moment later his eyes met hers. 

“Come.”, he told her, his solemn voice strange compared to the usual confident sound. 

Theo felt her stomach twist, but she let him pull her towards a chair nearby without complaint, sitting down in silence. Only now she realized how big everything in this house was. Even Gandalf seemed out of proportion in comparison to the large table he was standing next to, which seemed strange considered that he was towering over them. 

“Can you take of your coat?”, Fíli asked without looking at her, his eyes wandering back to Thorin. 

“You don’t have to do this. Go. Look after Thorin.”, she told him quietly, while doing as he told her and dropping her dirty coat careless to the ground. 

At the sound of her voice he turned back towards her, an unreadable expression on his face. For a moment he didn’t say anything, only mustering her from head to toe. 

“Oin knows what he’s doing. There’s nothing I can do to help.” 

He stared at the coat on the floor for a few seconds before he looked back at her face and Theo was surprised to find a blush spread over his cheeks. 

“You’ll have to take off the rest too.”

Right. 

Theo looked down at the blue tunic and pullover and nodded.   
The blood made both stick to her skin and Theo couldn’t supress a hiss when she pulled her arm free, the pain radiating fiercely through her body. 

Only when she was left in her grey tank top Fíli stopped her, his cheeks still rosy. 

“Let me take a look at it.” 

The touch on her arm was gentle, however it made Theo flinch back nonetheless.   
“Hold still.”, Fíli scolded her quietly while he turned her arm slightly and with a deep breath she nodded. 

He inspected the cuts in silence, without even a single movement on his face to give away what he was thinking. 

It made Theo force herself to look at the wound as well.  
Her stomach dropped at the sight of the gaping tears in her skin and a feeling of uneasiness washed over her.   
Dark blood was pooling in the deep cuts, already clotting in some spots. 

It was disgusting, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away. 

“We’ll need to clean this out.”, Fíli told her and turned her arm to the side. “And you might have to get stitches.”

“What?” Startled, Theo tried to pull back, but Fílis grip on her arm only tightened. 

“These are deep cuts, it will heal faster if we stitch it up.”   
A cold shiver ran down Theos back. “Can’t we just wrap it up? It’s not that bad.”, she tried to argue her way out of it, but Fíli still didn’t let go.   
“Until it gets infected.” 

Fílis words made her finally look up from her bloodied arm and at Fílis face.   
“I’m willing to risk that.”   
“Well I’m not. Oin?” Theo was left to look at his profile when he called out for the healer. “Should I stitch this up or leave it open?”   
It only took a moment for Oin to join them and inspect her wound. “I’d rather leave it open, but those tears are rough. It would take months for it to heal.” He shook his head in frustration, before he looked at Fíli.   
“Clean it thoroughly and stitch it up. It’s still bleeding; we might get lucky and it won’t get infected.” 

The two of them completely ignored the desperate expression on Theos face as they talked, too focused on the wound.   
“Don’t go easy on the alcohol, one infection is more than enough to take care of.” 

Throwing a last look at her arm Oin left them alone and returned to his spot next to Thorin. 

“It doesn’t matter what I think about this, does it?”  
The corners of Fílis lips twitched slightly at her question.   
“No.” 

He let go of her and looked around the kitchen. “Stay, I’ll be right back.”

Watching him leave, Theo contemplated running away.  
Maybe she could hide, just until he forgot about her. Everybody was running around and looking for stuff, it would be easy to sneak out. This wound would heal on its own, it just needed to scab over. 

She was just about to get up when Fíli returned, a bowl of water and a rag in his hands.   
He set both down on the table and returned his stern gaze to her, causing her to settle back into the chair. 

“Let’s get this over with.” 

Theo felt her pulse speed up and involuntarily she shifted on the hard chair. “It’s just a flesh wound, we really don’t have to do this.”, she tried to get herself out of this situation once more, however Fíli was having none of it.   
“Do you want to end up like Thorin?”, he asked her with a raised eyebrow, not showing an ounce of pity. 

Biting the inside of her cheek she looked over her shoulder towards the bench where Thorin was lying. Oins back was obscuring her view at Thorins leg, but the look she had gotten earlier was still stuck in her mind.   
No, she didn’t want to end up like Thorin.

“Fine.”

Even before she had turned back to him, Fíli had reached for her arm and started to spill water over the cuts. It wasn’t as bad as Theo had expected, at least as long as he only wrung out the rag. It was when he began to wipe away the blood and dirt that she couldn’t supress a hiss. 

“Just another moment.”, Fíli tried to ease her, and Theo forced herself to nod.   
She couldn’t wait for him to sow it up. 

“We can’t wait any longer, get me some alcohol!” 

Startled by Oins shout Theo looked back towards Thorin. Bofur hurried towards them, a bottle containing a clear liquid in his hands.   
Occupied by the task at hand the healer didn’t spare him a single glance, instead he got right to work and spilled the liquid generously over the gashes in Thorins leg.   
Thorins whole body resisted immediately and Dori, Balin and Kíli had all hands full to keep him down and let Oin do his work. In the meantime, Bilbo kneeled right next to them on the ground and had his hand placed on Thorins arm, attempting to calm him at least a little.   
If he had held his hand, Thorin probably would have broken it. 

It felt wrong to see him like this.   
Unable to stand it, Theo hurried to look back at Fílis hands that had halted in their movements. Glancing upwards, she found a desperate expression on his face. Those usually bright eyes were dark as they watched the scene behind her back; the almost pleading look in them making him seem younger and older at once. 

Her chest hurt to see Fíli so vulnerable, and in an attempt to comfort him she placed her free hand on his wrist, stroking her thumb gentle over the back of his hand.   
“Thorin is strong. If anyone can recover from this, it’s him.”, she told him quietly, making him tear his eyes from Thorin to look down at her. He didn’t reply, he only swallowed hard as his line of sight wandered from her face to the hand placed on his wrist. 

With his yaw clenched tightly he returned to clean the cuts; only the hand that held her arm in place twitched slightly whenever another painful grunt escaped Thorins lips. 

Theo kept her hand on Fílis wrist, stroking the hand that held her arm carefully while forcing herself to stay as still as possible.   
Fíli had enough on his mind, he didn’t need her whining too. 

“I’ll get something to stitch this up.”, he told her suddenly, almost scaring Theo with his words, so focused had she been on his hands. His voice was strained, but before she could answer, Fíli left her to herself and Theo could only look at his back as he made his way towards Bofur at the old oven. 

Sighing quietly, she inspected her arm and tried to ignore the nervous commotion in her stomach. It looked a lot better now that the blood was cleaned away, however the thought of getting it stitched up without any sort of anaesthesia send her nerves flying. 

Only the comparison to Thorin calmed her a little. 

An infection was worse. 

Just as she was about to make her peace with what had to be done, Fíli returned and set down another bottle of alcohol on the table. She leaned forwards and reached for it with her uninjured arm as Fíli was sorting through the bandages.   
A single sniff told her that it was strong stuff and without hesitation she took a deep swig. 

The liquid burned in her throat, but to her it was a more than welcoming distraction. 

“Hey, I need that.” 

Fíli pried the bottle out of her hand and set it back onto the table.   
Scowling, she watched as he pulled another chair close and sat down next to her.   
“Don’t look at me like that.”

Ignoring his words, Theo continued to stare him down as he pulled off his gloves and threw them careless on the table.   
“Can’t you just let me get drunk first?”, she asked while he spilled the alcohol over his hands. “I’m sure that would make this easier for both of us.” 

For a moment Fíli stopped and looked at her, his face unreadable. 

“I’m not doing this because I enjoy it.”

Theo sighed and looked down at her dirty boots. “I know.” 

She didn’t move when he reached for her arm again, trying to mentally prepare herself for the treatment. It couldn’t that bad, right?  
I definitely couldn’t be worse than getting your appendix removed.   
Or when she had stepped onto that rake as a…

“Fuck!”

She tried to rip her arm back, but Fíli held on tightly and kept spilling alcohol over the tears. It burned like a bitch and Theo could feel her eyes water.   
If disinfecting it hurt so much, she didn’t know whether she would be able to stand the stitches. 

“It’s not that bad, you’ll be fine.”, Fíli tried to calm her down, however Theo wasn’t so sure.   
“Can’t you just knock me out? You can do whatever you want with me afterwards.”

“Whatever I want?”

If the circumstances where any different, Theo probably would have turned as red as a traffic light, but now she only raised her head to send Fíli a challenging look. 

“I’ll even say please and thank you.” 

A small smile appeared on his lips, which seemed a little strange considering he was pulling one of the cuts apart to soak it with alcohol.   
“Careful. You might not be able to handle what I want.”

“I guess you’ll just have to knock me out and see.”   
She knew that he would never do that, Fíli was way too nice to ever do anything like that.  
Still.   
The thought made the pain a little more bearable. 

“Some other time maybe.” 

Fíli poured another shot of alcohol over her arm before he put the bottle down on the table and looked her over. “Are you ready for this?”, he asked her while he reached for a roll of yarn. It looked way too thick and rough in her opinion, but what did she know?

She held out her arm, unable to stop her fingers from fidgeting nervously. “Just get this over with.” 

For a moment Fíli looked at her with a strange expression on his face, seemingly trying to say something, but just when he opened his mouth he stopped and focused on at the task at hand. 

He gripped her arm tightly and let out a quiet sigh before he started to dig a needle into her skin without further warning.  
The already mutilated nerves in her arm screamed out in pain and Theo couldn’t supress a loud groan. With gritted teeth and shaking fingers she waited for him to finally pierce the skin and even though it probably only lasted for about a second, it felt like eternity until he did so.

Even the feeling of the string being pulled through the skin was disgusting. 

“How many times do we have to do this?”, she asked with a strained and slightly hitching voice, when Fíli tied off a small knot. 

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to.”

Theo didn’t get the chance to reply; her breath was taken away by him piercing her skin again. 

By the time he finished his work Theo had her head buried in the crook of her left elbow, resting against the edge of the table. She had stopped groaning at some point, to focused on trying to keep breathing, although she couldn’t supress a small whimper from time to time. 

Not even when Fíli started to spill alcohol over her arm once more did she move. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Mhm.” 

Theo didn’t trust her tongue to say anything, she simply wanted to pass out. She barely even registered him smearing something onto the sutures, only the fact that it didn’t do anything to ease the hot, pulsating pain. 

“Here lass, drink that.”

When someone placed a hand on her shoulder, Theo forced herself to lift her head.   
Her face was hot and her cheeks sticky with tears, but Bofur didn’t comment on it, he simply held out a large cup towards her. 

She took it without question and drank the warm and bitter liquid. It tasted disgusting, but at this point she didn’t care. This day could hardly get any worse.

“Easy. Don’t drink it all at once.”  
Bofur gently took the cup from her and mustered her with pity in his eyes.   
“How are you doing?”, he asked her as he set the cup down on the table behind him.

For a moment Theo didn’t think she was able to answer, but eventually her tongue obeyed.   
“Shit.” It might be her brain struggling to process anything but the pain, however her voice sounded worse than when the goblin had strangled her.

If it startled the dwarf next to her, he didn’t let it show.   
“You’ll be fine, just try to get some rest.”, Bofur assured her with a supporting smile on his lips, while Fíli finally started to wrap up her arm. 

Theo sniffed and nodded, unable to get out anything else.   
Leaning her head back against the chair she closed her eyes again, trying to ignore the hot pain the best she could. 

Her tired body helped, drowning out everything around her to a dull hum in the back of her mind, far away from herself.   
When she felt the hands of unconsciousness slowly pulling her into darkness and she didn’t resist.   
She welcomed it. 

Just when she was about to slip under, a whisper next to her made her creak open her eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Still seated on the chair next to her, Fíli finished to wrap up her arm.   
His head and shoulders hung heavy; he looked nothing short of exhausted.   
Exhausted and guilty. 

“What for?”, she asked, hear voice creaky, oblivious as to why he would be sorry. 

At her question his eyebrows drew together and he looked up from her arm.   
“For this.”

Weakly Theo shook her head. “Don’t be sorry, you only helped me.” 

“But I hurt you.” Fílis lips pulled into a thin line as the words left them. 

The hurt look on his face made Theos heart twist. Her left hand was heavy as she lifted it, but she forced herself to place it on Fílis hand that was holding the bandage in place. 

Sleep was tearing at her mind, but she forced tongue to keep moving. She wasn’t angry at him and she needed him to know that. 

“You helped me.”


	18. A quiet morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!
> 
> It's been a while since I last updated, the last few weeks have beeen too bloody busy to get anything done.
> 
> I wrote four different versions of this chapter, however none of them really worked out the way I wanted to, so after a few glasses of wine I decided to just get this done and and give you a short version of the original plan.   
> If there is one thing I learned over the last few weeks it's to know when to move on and just accept things as they are :)
> 
> I didn't really proofread this, so I hope it's not a complete mess :D
> 
> I hope you are all doing well, and I hope you won't have to wait as long for the next chapter!  
> There is a really fun idea swirling through my head, so it's just a question whether I'll be able to get it done :)
> 
> Have a beautiful day!

The first thing Theo noticed when she finally stirred from her deep slumber was the hay that tickled at her skin. It’s incredibly comforting smell of withered grass surrounded her like a warm blanket; making her want to bury herself even deeper in it.

Her coat was draped over her shoulders for warmth and with a quiet but content sigh Theo relished in the feeling of safety and comfort. 

The only sounds she could hear were calm breathing and snoring; both making her feel even more at ease. 

She had no idea of how she had ended up in this pile of hay, but considering how much she liked it here, she didn’t care. All she wanted to do was to stay and make the most of this moment of peace. 

Even the pain in her arm was bearable, especially considering how badly it had hurt before she had fallen asleep. 

Letting out a hearty yawn, Theo shifted and pulled the coat up to her chin.

Yet another thing she owed Fíli.

That damned dwarf with his endless kindness and that beautiful smile. 

How was she supposed to not fa… 

No. She wouldn’t go there. 

She couldn’t go there.

She would just lie here and rest and not think of those beautiful blonde waves that just dared you to run your hands through them.   
And definitely not of these strong, rough hands that managed to be so gentle. 

“Ugh…” 

With a frustrated groan she rolled onto her back and rubbed her temples with her fingers. 

What the hell was wrong with her?

Why couldn’t she just shake this stupid crush? 

This was just getting ridiculous.

For the first time since she had woken up Theo opened her eyes; finding herself in a gloomy barn. She had only barely registered it when they had arrived, too occupied with the mess they had been in. Now she realized that it was just as large as the kitchen, if not even bigger, the ceiling far above her head. 

In an attempt to gather her bearings and distract herself from her stupid heart that just didn’t know what to feel anymore, Theo pushed herself up to a sitting position. Her arm protested at the movement; the sutures tearing at the skin and making her wince quietly.

However it was nothing compared to the wave of dizziness that washed over her and sent the world around her spinning and twisting. It forced her to look down at her knees until everything calmed down, while she simultaneously fought back the bile that threatened to rise to her throat.

Even when she finally settled a strange feeling of light headedness remained. 

The continued exertion of her body and the blood loss had finally caught up to her. Although considering everything they had been through in the last few days, Theo didn’t think of complaining. Things could have turned out a lot worse than they had. 

She was more than lucky to haven gotten away with a few bruises and a flesh wound. 

Now that it was no longer hidden underneath her coat, Theos eyes involuntarily fell onto the bandage that covered most of her upper arm. The thought of the mangled skin underneath made her swallow hard.   
Her mind was running a thousand miles an hour to try to imagine what it would look like, including all the possibilities of how it could get even worse.   
It sent a shiver running down her spine and with a shake of her shoulders she looked up. She would just ignore this for the time being. 

Instead she let her eyes wander over the barn to take in her surroundings. She might not remember how she had ended up in this pile of hay, however she definitely wasn’t alone. The others were all sprawled out in various piles of hay on the floor, soundly asleep.   
This alone managed to put a soft smile on her lips.   
It had been too long since they had a decent rest; it was a welcomed return to normalcy. 

A large part of her begged her to lie down and go back to sleep, however there was another part of her that was urging her to get up now that she had moved.   
Her fucking tiny bladder. 

Theo let out another deep yawn before she leaned forwards and crawled out of the hay.  
Her legs felt weak when she actually straightened up and for a moment Theo had to stay still while she waited for the tingling in her limbs to go away. 

But at least she didn’t feel sick this time around. 

Careful not to make any sound she made her way to the front door; surprised to see that nobody was awake for night guard.   
Not even the heavy front door was locked, although this allowed her to slip out quietly. 

The outside greeted her with cool morning air, as there was still a veil of fog hanging in between the trees of the forest.   
It was quite early and the sun was still hiding behind the horizon. Only a faint violet gleam in the east told her that it wouldn’t be long until the world around her would wake up. 

Which was all the more reason to hurry up and finish her business so she could return right back to that spot in the hay and snooze for a little while longer. 

With stiff legs she walked towards the line of trees near the gate where they had entered this farmstead the day before and squatted down behind them. She could hear a few early birds chirping up in the trees, but other than that it was completely silent. Just what a forest was supposed to be like in the morning. 

It only took Theo a moment to finish up and set out to make her way back inside, however she halted when she spotted something prowling through the grass in front of the house. 

“Well hello there little guy.” 

Theo got down on her knees in absolute delight and stretched out her hand towards a small cat. She had no idea when she had last seen one of those four legged bastards, let alone one with such pretty tiger stripes. 

The cat stayed where it was for a moment, before it slowly came closer and sniffed at her fingers. Theo figured that she smelled better than she had thought, at least the cat didn’t run for the hills and allowed her to gently pet its head. 

“Aren’t you a nice little guy?”, she asked the little tiger, who grew more comfortable by the minute and started to rub its head against the palm of her hand. The quiet purr it let out managed to put a wide smile on Theos face. 

Inching a little closer, she let her hand run down the cats spine and relished in the feeling of the soft fur underneath her palm. It seemed she was not the only one to enjoy this; the cat made a step closer as well and let itself fall on its side with a quiet thud. 

“Oh my, did you fall over?”   
Without stopping to stroke the soft fur, Theo shifted to sit down and cross her legs. She didn’t care for the damp grass, nor for the cool morning air; she was completely lost in the moment. 

“You are one funky little superstar, has anybody ever told you that?” Leaning forwards, Theo carefully picked up the cat and set it down in her lap. Her fingers found the cats neck and started to scratch it. “Yes you are.” The little tiger was absolute putty in her hands and rolled on its back to give her even better access to its chest.   
Theo was more than happy to comply and kept on scratching and rubbing the cats neck and chest. 

“What do you think about taking this inside?”, she asked it after a while, thinking of going back to the barn to snooze a little more. “You could take a little nap as well.”   
Considering the loud purring an agreement, Theo picked up the cat and cradled it tightly in her arms. She forced her stiff legs to stand up once more and walked back to the farmhouse with a content smile on her face. Finally she had something to cuddle. 

She was just about to climb the steps to the front door, when she heard a creaking door slam shut somewhere behind the house. The noise caused her to stop in her tracks and furrow her forehead. She was quite sure that everyone had been asleep when she had stepped outside and she would have noticed anybody leaving the house. 

Which meant that they were not alone. 

A quiet sigh escaped her lips and with a grim face she turned her back on the chance of another nap in favour of making her way around the farmhouse to investigate the mysterious sound. 

She kept holding on to the nameless cat in her arms and continued to scratch its neck, thankful for its company. This way she wouldn’t be alone when next ridiculous thing would try to kill her. 

However when she actually turned around the corner of the house, she nearly dropped it at the sight that presented itself to her. 

She had been expecting something that would send her running for the hills, but definitely not a giant milking a goat. 

No wonder this house was so damn big. 

Even seated on a stool he towered over her; at least twice her size and with a bare chest completely covered in black hair. 

Just when she opened her mouth to say something, he looked up from the goat; his eyes studying her warily. 

Theo could feel her cheeks turn hot at the thought of him catching her staring, although she couldn’t stop herself from doing so. This guy was just so fucking big. 

They stayed like this for a few moments.   
Staring at each other, neither speaking nor moving. 

“That cat has fleas.” 

The deep voice almost made Theo jump, but she didn’t let go of the cat in her arms.  
Instead she moved towards the wooden fence that separated her from the goats and watched him continue to milk the goat. 

He looked even taller from up close. 

“Are you Björn?”, she asked him; hoping that this was in fact Gandalfs friend and not some crazy guy who would skin her alive after he was done with the goats. 

“Beorn.”

The giant didn’t look up when he spoke; he simply kept milking the goat, which made Theo wonder whether he wanted her to leave or not. 

“I’m Theo.”, she introduced herself; unsure about what she should do. Why hadn’t she just gone inside when she had the chance to? She could be curled up underneath her coat instead of being stuck in this weird situation. 

Beorn didn’t react to her introduction, which made Theo figure that he just wanted to be left alone. She turned away quietly, ready to go back inside, when he finally spoke up. 

“What are you doing here?” 

The question made her stay still and look back at Beorn. He kept avoiding the line of her sight by looking at the goat, although the tone of his voice made it clear that he wanted an answer. 

“Honestly?” Theo wasn’t even sure what they were doing anymore. “Trying not to die.” 

Beorn let out a mixture of a snort and a huff. “You should try harder.” 

Which was a fact Theo couldn’t argue with. 

They fell into relative silence once more, only the sounds of nature slowly waking up surrounding them. 

“What is the cats name?”, Theo asked after a while, still scratching its neck. 

“She doesn’t have a name. She just comes to hunt the mice.” Beorn finished milking the goat and stood up with a sigh. Seeing him completely upright caused Theos eyes to widen a little more. He was even taller than she had thought. “Sure you want to catch fleas?” He looked down at her with his eyebrows raised up high, clearly thinking her to be some sort of a moron. 

“I probably have fleas already.” Theo only shrugged her shoulders at the prospect of fleas. She could certainly think of worse things. 

Her answer made Beorn roll his eyes and with a slight shake of his head he picked up his stool and bucket and moved on to the next goat. 

“What makes a group of stinking dwarfs, a hobbit and a wizard cross the misty mountains?”, he asked her; his voice making it clear that he wanted to know the truth. Which made Theo bite her lips. 

She wasn’t sure whether she was actually allowed to talk about their quest or not.

There had been nothing in her contract regarding that matter, but Theo had a feeling that Thorin would not like her to say anything. After all they had been lying about this to her for over a month. 

On the other hand, she wasn’t so sure if lying to Beorn would be such a great idea either. 

“We are on our way home.”, she told him eventually, figuring that this was neither a lie nor the whole truth. 

However her eyebrows and forehead furrowed deeply as the words left her lips. She had never thought about it that way before, but it wasn’t necessarily wrong.   
There was a deep yearning for a place to call home inside her and it seemed Erebor would have to be that place. Assumed they would actually reach it. 

“And where is that home?” 

He must have noticed that she was hesitant to talk, for he turned towards her and looked at her as warily as he had when she first turned up at the fence. 

“You should probably talk to Thorin about that.” 

Beorns eyes tightened at her vague answer and Theo could feel herself squirm under his piercing look. 

“It’s just… I’ve never been there and Thorin is our leader and I’m not really supposed to talk to strangers.”  
She was just babbling.   
“I don’t even know the way, Thorin could tell you a lot more.” 

Her words didn’t help to ease Beorns stare, he only lifted one of his eyebrows sceptically. 

“You are going to a home that you’ve never been to before?”

Great. If maybe she could just for once think her words through before she said them, that would be very helpful. 

“I uhm…” She had no idea what to answer. Why hadn’t she just gone inside?

“I don’t have a home, so they offered that I could come with them.” 

That wasn’t a lie. 

She was expecting more questions, so it surprised her all the more to see Beorns stare soften. Not by much, but at least a little.   
Maybe it was what she had said, maybe it was the pitiful sight of her. 

Or maybe he realized that she was a moron and he was only wasting his time asking her things. 

He didn’t say anything else, he simply turned to the goat and started to milk it. 

“Tell your leader that I will talk to him later. To him and Gandalf.”

Understanding the hint to get lost and leave him alone, Theo nodded and turned back towards the house. She would deliver that message and then go back to sleep. Maybe she would ask what she was actually allowed to talk about, but that was it.   
Enough with the weird conversations for the day. 

When she reached the front door this time around, she found it standing slightly ajar, the sounds of snoring and low mumbling drifting outside. Apparently she was not the only one awake anymore. 

Theo was just about to step inside when something tweaked at her side and made her jump away with a yelp. 

Kílis laugh greeted her before she even got the chance to turn around. 

A few pieces of hay were stuck in his messy hair, but the wide smile on his face made up for the deep shadows underneath his eyes. How he managed to maintain the energy of a three-year-old was a complete mystery to Theo. 

Not that she really cared about it, she was just happy to see him so carefree again. 

He didn’t even flinch when she kicked him against the shin, too distracted by the cat in her arms. 

“You found a friend.”, he said as he reached out to pet it as well, pushing her own hand away in the process. 

“I’ve been told she has fleas.”, Theo warned him, but Kíli only shrugged his shoulders.   
“So do you and I have to sleep next to you almost every night.”, he countered with a contagious grin; making Theo stick out her tongue at him.   
“Well where do you think I got them from?”, she asked him and sent him an accusing look with her right eyebrow raised up high. 

“Me?” The grin on Kílis face stretched even further. “I’m not the one you’re holding hands with at night.” 

Oh shit. 

His comment made Theos heart skip a beat, while her cheeks started to burn fiercely. 

She hadn’t thought anyone had noticed Fíli consoling her the night before, but apparently she had been wrong. 

“Fíli was just being nice. He would have done the same for everybody else.”, she defended what had happened, however Kíli just shook his head. 

“I haven’t seen him hold any other hands.”, he retorted with a dangerous glint in his eyes. “And yesterday it was you who held his hand.”

Of course. 

Of course he had seen that too. 

Well aware that her head was still as red as a tomato Theo pushed open the front door enough to slip inside in an attempt to get away, however Kíli followed her right away. 

She knew that he enjoyed teasing her too much to let this go. 

Which made Theo almost sigh in relief when she spotted Gandalf, Oin and Balin seated at the large table, looking up from their conversation at their appearance. 

“Where have you been?”, Gandalf inquired right away and once more that morning Theo felt like she was interrogated. She should have never gotten up in the first place. 

“I went to pee and met Beorn.”, she told him truthfully as she walked towards them and climbed onto one of the oversized chairs, trying to ignore Kíli as he followed her. “He wants to talk to you and Thorin.” 

The wizard nodded, but he kept starring at her. “Is he in a good mood?”

Ignoring his stare, Theo settled the cat into her lap once more. It curled itself into a tight little ball and let her pet its head. 

“As good as can be, considering a horde of stinking dwarfs is currently invading his home.” 

Bilbo hadn’t been pissed any less when she had first met him. 

“Yes, I imagine that. Beorn is not overly fond of dwarfs.”, Gandalf mumbled as he took a deep draw of his pipe. 

“We have no ill intend. All we did was seek shelter from the wargs.”, Balin defended their actions, although Gandalf only nodded absent-minded. 

“I’m not so sure Beorn cares about that.” 

No, he probably didn’t. 

Theo kept on looking down at the cat in her lap, determined not to let Kíli see how embarrassed she was.   
Not that this was stopping him.

“You should try to be more discreet; anybody might have seen the two of you.”, he told her in a low voice as he leaned towards her, petting the cat as well. The little traitor rolled over onto its back to get its chest scratched, which Kíli did right away. 

“There was nothing to see.”, Theo bit back, thankful that Kíli at least managed to keep his voice low. She really didn’t need anyone else jump in on this too. 

“I beg to differ. You held on to his hand all night long.” 

Theo didn’t look up, but she could imagine the gleeful grin on Kílis face. 

“I told you, it didn’t…”

“How are you feeling?”  
Oin stopped her midsentence with his question and placed his hand on her forehead, seemingly appearing out of thin air next to her.

“Great.” Theo was both thankful and nervous at his presence. It might just be the distraction that would shut Kíli up, but she wasn’t willing to bet on it. He might keep talking anyways.  
Oin clearly wasn’t convinced by her reply and while he pulled away his hand, he pulled the chair next to her closer and settled into it. 

“Let me see that arm.” 

Without waiting for an answer Oin began to unwarp the bandage that covered her am, which caused Theo to swallow hard. She dreaded to find out what was hidden underneath; however she couldn’t bring herself to look away either.   
This was almost worse than Kíli teasing her. 

“That’s disgusting.”, she said as Oin pulled away the last of the bandage and inspected the dark cuts. Dried blood stuck to her skin, which was slightly swollen and red around the sutures.  
It looked considerably better than it had before. 

“Does it hurt?” 

Oin was careful when he prodded at the skin, but it made her flinch back nonetheless. 

“Could be worse.”, she said and forced herself to stay still while Oin kept running his thumb over the cuts. Which was true.   
She had expected it to feel a lot worse.

“Remind me to never let Fíli stich me up.”, Kíli told her from his spot on her other side as he watched the procedure with a fascinated look on his face. “He can’t sow for shit.”

“Stop it!” Oin slapped away the hand Kíli had stretched out to touch the sutures before he actually could. “Get your filthy hands out of the way.”

Kíli wasn’t bothered by Oins words. He just dropped his hand and leaned forwards to inspect Fílis handywork from up close. 

“I need you to keep a close eye on it.”, Oin told her once he was sure Kíli didn’t interfere with his examination. “You tell me the moment you notice something change, no matter how insignificant it seems.”

He let go of her arm and opened the lid of a small tin he had brought with him. It contained a thick yellow cream, which he smeared generously onto her wounds.   
“Keep it clean and dry.” 

He looked up for a moment, catching her eyes knowingly. “And don’t scratch at it.” 

Theo nodded with a small, guilty grin and watched Oin rewrapping her arm tightly. It was clear to see that he had done this many times before.   
He fastened the bandage with a tight knot, uncaring for the hiss Theo let out. “Like I said, I need to know about any changes. I don’t want to have to cut you open again because it gets infected.” 

His threat made Theo look up at once. “That makes two of us.”

Apparently satisfied with her answer Oin slipped off his chair and left her alone with Kíli, who was watching her with this damned grin once more.

“I’m sure Fíli will help you look after it.” 

Theo felt the heat creep to her cheeks once more. 

“I told you, he was just being nice.”, she retorted, desperate for him to finally drop this, but her words only made him grin wider. 

“Yes, he is always very nice to you. A lot nicer than he is too anyone else.”

“He treats me not different than the rest of you.”, Theo insisted, contemplating if her legs were strong enough to run away from this. There must be some spot in the forest where she could hide. 

Because the grin on Kílis face told her that she needed to disappear for a while. 

“Really? Because he only carried one of us to bed last night.”


End file.
